AIBU to complain after NHS dentist did filling for my 16 year-old?

white filling fine but silver?? I wouldn't be happy with that at all

He's 16. He's old enough to be having kids of his own, or joining the army ffs. He can handle making decisions at the dentist and if he can't, I'd be worried.

Would you like help drafting a formal complaint letter to the practice manager once you see what the consensus is on your post?

really?

Why are you taking up an NHS dentist space if you'd prefer to pay privately for 'better' fillings etc? There are people desperate for an NHS dentist who can't find one.

So I would say there are 2 separate things:

1. if he’s not old enough in your view to make decisions at the dentist, you should be going with him or if you can’t telling him to discuss with you before procedures. The dentist would respect him saying no I want to speak to my ma.
2. I think it’s very poor for any dentist not to run through amalgam vs white fillings and make people aware there are options even if they aren’t available fully covered by nhs. The dentist is or should be fully aware of both the cosmetic issues and growing concern and suspicion regarding the impacts of having that material in your body. So I would consider that your son was not given an adequate explanation of options and pros and cons in order to properly consent and that given his age the dentist ought to have been extra careful in this regard.

I cannot cope with ‘just be grateful because it’s the NHS / I can’t see a dentist’ etc. We put up with such abysmally low standards in healthcare in the UK and it flows from this thinking. We need to expect and aspire to better - yes, recognising that means overhauls but honestly pretending that this ‘shitshow but for free’ situation is in any way OK is ludicrous.

It's an example of why our teenage kids are so much less independent and resilient than the generations above them.

I don’t think the dentist has done anything wrong here. This situation could have been avoided by having a conversation with your son before he went he the appointment.

You should be grateful that the dentist acted promptly and dealt with your son’s cavity there and then. You’re being over the top and dramatic. I bet even ChatGPT thinks so 😉

Always double check you have removed all AI references 😀

YANBU
She overstepped the mark.

I would have wanted to know why, when he’s always had glowing reports.

I also would have specified a white filling.

What’s an NHS dentist?

Why is it weird? It’s only“weird” because NHS dentists are normally booked back to back. But if they have a gap why not? I work in private practice (and recently had an amalgam filling there as the dentist thinks it’s best for that tooth and I am in no way worried about it being “toxic”.) and they routinely do fillings and treatment at check up appointments as they have the time. But there’s certainly no other reason that you need to wait for another appointment to have a filling done.

Same if a 16 year old girl wants to go on the pill? They should check with her parents and discuss options with them because she might not understand?

What the hell am I reading?
These people saying it should be discussed with parents, processing the information making an informed decision about it? I's a fucking filling not a full brain transplant.🙄
Well, silly me, dentists have loads of time to wait while a 16 year old sitting in the chair fannys around calling mum on voice mail or waitting for her to pick up her phone, if not avaiable calling dad or whoever for advice on what to do about a bloody filling.
The NHS dentistry is a complete mess and millions are struggling to get help and yet someone might need to process the idea? Just jog off with that.

You are being ridiculous.

A filling in a back molar cannot be seen unless someone practically climbs into his mouth.

Just before my wedding I had the second to back molar removed, it cannot be seen at all that there is a gap or that the tooth behind is filled.

It is VERY common for back molars to need filling

He is 16 and unless there is an underlying issue where he doesn't have mental competency then there is absolutely no reason for them to have asked you permission or discussed it with you.

The very fact you sent him alone says he has full competency.

Does he genuinely feel like he was pressured or is he telling you what you wanted to hear if you were clearly cross after he told you?

I would complain. Even if they don't legally need to speak to you, 16 is still very very young (contrary to the weird mumsnet opinion that 16 is a legal adult and therefore they can cope with anything 🤪). Amalgam fillings are mental in today's world and I would be looking to get that changed to composite too. I would want to speak to the dentist myself and ask her what the fuck she was thinking.

Very much this! I want my bread buttered on both sides, at no cost, and someone cuts the bread and butters it for me.

They’ve copied and pasted from ChatGPT and forgot to omit the last paragraph.

Then maybe it would've been an idea to actually discuss this possible scenerio before going to the dentist. At least say " don't agree to anything you are not 100% about u til you've talked to.kw"

I had a filling replaced during a normal NHS checkup appointment recently. I didn't know I'd lost it, they had time so they did it then.

Yes Id be upset about not being informed especially as like you - I would paid for a white filling. That said, your 16 year old should have been aware enough to call you to discuss. Legally the dentist did nothing wrong so you I dont think you have grounds for a complaint. She also may well have said do you want to call your parents and he might have declined and is only regretful now because of how it looks. You could send feedback saying please can you encourage children of this age to discuss with their parents. I think that's valid but not a complaint as such.

I would be annoyed about amalgam and insist on having it replaced as its toxic.

Its weird to have a filling while having a regular check up tbh. Normally its a separate appointment.

16 year olds can consent to their own treatment. If you had significant concerns that your ds couldn't do that, you wouldn't have let him go to any appt alone, including a check up, surely.
If you and your ds both want you to remain involved in his health care decisions , go back to attending all appts with him. But that in itself would be a preference and doesn't mean the dentist did anything 'wrong'.
Arrange for the filling replaced privately if ds doesn't like the aesthetics of the current one.

I think this thread is part of the reason there’s a lot of unhappiness in Britain atm. The entitlement. ‘Hi, my nearly adult son went to the dentist for free. They found a problem and fixed it for free immediately. They asked him for consent. They should have known by magic that despite considering him old enough to go on his own, I don’t consider him old enough to make a decision, or speak. I am furious. I have used a free service to write a complaint letter for me as I can’t do it myself. Fuming.’

FFS, I'd love to have dental treatment from anywhere but can't afford it.