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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman in underwear in own home

309 replies

Alee36 · 11/09/2026 23:35

I'm raging and need to know if I'm blowing this out of proportion.We live in a first floor maisonette, house conversion. We moved in a month and a bit ago and (granted) for two weeks we were without curtains or blinds. Our living room window is at the front of the house and we have a large bay, so the main section of the living area is quite set back from the window.

I have returned from a rare evening out to my husband relaying a conversation he had with the next door neighbour, who knocked on the door. For context we have not met this neighbour yet. Apparently the neighbour said they are having their guttering done at some point next week, and that they will do ours at the same time (lovely,thanks). He then went on to say that last time his contractor was here, he 'saw your partner walking around in her underwear'. This has really bothered me, and more so because my husband said he doesn't see the big deal. My feelings are these:

  1. It was a heatwave
  2. I was in my own home
  3. It would have been huge granny pants akin to shorts and a vest or crop top- you'd see more scantily clad people in the park or at the beach
  4. I wouldn't have been parading in front of the fucking window, but rather just living my life and walking through
  5. My husband frequently walked around in his pants in the heatwave, unsurprisingly this wasn't mentioned
  6. Call me old fashioned, but a gentleman would avert his gaze and crack on with his job?

Overall, why on earth has a contractor passed on this information to our neighbour and why has my neighbour thought it appropriate to then tell my husband? Isn't that weird? That me in my underwear at home is being discussed in a chain of men. Like wtf? If he was trying to be helpful he could have had some tact, and said oh by the way we can see in your windows or something along those lines. I just find it bizzare and inappropriate, and actually quite sexist. Woman in underwear in own home- alert the press. In other news, bikinis allowed on beaches and forks found in kitchen.

Also they are doing the guttering at 'some point next week', so am I to hide out all next week lest I offend with my pjs or whatever I want to wear in my own fucking home?!

AIBU?

OP posts:
blondeboobshell · 12/09/2026 14:30

The annoying thing is a man walking round in boxers would go unnoticed

RaininSummer · 12/09/2026 14:30

nomas · 12/09/2026 12:23

And the DH wearing less but not getting any warning makes sense as well, right?

I don't think a man would care that much though would he.

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 13:47

Squirrelsnut · 12/09/2026 05:15

Nice ageism there!

Apologies, I didnt mean it negatively, just literally - i myself am a babbler if it helps!

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 12:41

nomas · 12/09/2026 12:32

People who post just to argue with the OP usually do.

Haven't argued with the OP

nomas · 12/09/2026 12:32

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 12:31

I'm loving it now 😍

People who post just to argue with the OP usually do.

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 12:31

nomas · 12/09/2026 12:30

You don’t seem to be having fun, you just seem confused.

I'm loving it now 😍

nomas · 12/09/2026 12:30

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 12:28

For the lolz 😆

You don’t seem to be having fun, you just seem confused.

LuckyHazelFox · 12/09/2026 12:29

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 12:28

For the lolz 😆

😆 🤣 and the Peeping Tom hunters

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 12:28

nomas · 12/09/2026 12:27

If you don’t see the need for the thread, why comment? Why not let the rest of us crack on?

For the lolz 😆

nomas · 12/09/2026 12:27

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 12:25

I don't get this thread at all. It's happened. No crime here. Life moves on..

If you don’t see the need for the thread, why comment? Why not let the rest of us crack on?

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 12:25

nomas · 12/09/2026 12:23

And the DH wearing less but not getting any warning makes sense as well, right?

I don't get this thread at all. It's happened. No crime here. Life moves on..

nomas · 12/09/2026 12:23

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 11:52

Stop making sense ! How dare you!

And the DH wearing less but not getting any warning makes sense as well, right?

nomas · 12/09/2026 12:20

oviraptor21 · 12/09/2026 08:38

I voted YABU. Not because I'm a "Peeping Tom supporter" but because I'd want to know if I could be seen in my underwear. OP is unreasonable not to consider that this is the motive of everyone involved in the chain.

If someone is in the privacy of their home, you should assume they have their curtain and blinds situation in their windows to their own liking.

No one needs your information services in their own homes.

You should be glancing away from the window, not peering in.

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 11:52

namechangetheworld · 12/09/2026 11:04

He probably thought you weren't aware people could see you and thought he'd give you a heads up. Less awkward to bring it up with your husband than directly with you.

There's absolutely nothing to get riled up about here.

Stop making sense ! How dare you!

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 11:51

EmeraldShamrock000 · 12/09/2026 11:20

Go topless next week.

Topless whilst doing star jumps. That's the natural progression of this theme.

Prunesrlush · 12/09/2026 11:39

Alee36 · 12/09/2026 11:23

Yes I'd be very unlikely to say that, given it's not true 😂.

Again… hardly like to admit!

But twatty of your husband to think that you getting back from a rare night out would want to hear about this exchange then.

I wonder if your husband is making this up because he has a problem with it OR was he just trying to spoil your night out?

Alee36 · 12/09/2026 11:23

Prunesrlush · 12/09/2026 11:02

Well you are hardly likely to come back and say

”yep I was really pissed and I’m an angry drunk”

I reckon your husband was trying to spoil your rare night out

Yes I'd be very unlikely to say that, given it's not true 😂.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 12/09/2026 11:20

Go topless next week.

evaevaeva · 12/09/2026 11:18

There is a weird double standard with this.

My stepchildren’s mother called my husband and told him I was disgusting because I “paraded” around the house in my underwear in front of her children.
For context, this only happened once. The smoke detector was going off at 3am, so husband and I ran into the hallway to investigate (turned out the battery was dying), I was wearing full briefs and a cropped t-shirt.
Husband reminded her that we’d been on holiday with the children multiple times, where they’d have seen me in bikinis and swimwear that were more ‘revealing’ than big high waisted knickers and a cropped t-shirt. Also reminded her that last time he collected the children from her house, her partner opened the door in just his boxers 🤷🏽‍♀️

montysmaw · 12/09/2026 11:10

He was trying to help. He assumed that you might not want to be seen and discussed by contractors , so he gave you a heads up.

Unless of course you want to be seen. But most people don't particularly want workies clocking them in their knickers.

namechangetheworld · 12/09/2026 11:04

He probably thought you weren't aware people could see you and thought he'd give you a heads up. Less awkward to bring it up with your husband than directly with you.

There's absolutely nothing to get riled up about here.

Prunesrlush · 12/09/2026 11:02

Alee36 · 12/09/2026 10:23

I nursed a single glass of wine over a 3 hour period with dinner, so yes I was steaming and I'm now in hospital with alcohol poisoning.

Well you are hardly likely to come back and say

”yep I was really pissed and I’m an angry drunk”

I reckon your husband was trying to spoil your rare night out

DailyPlanner · 12/09/2026 10:59

GoldenSandy · 12/09/2026 10:02

She doesn't need to have her curtains closed. She's not a vampire.

doesn't need to

but then can't complain people see her in her granny undies. It's a choice.

Same with wearing a bikini on a beach. I do. But then I can't complain people see me in a bikini

EmailsaysOOO · 12/09/2026 10:55

You can ask your partner to go about in a mankini , Borat-style - for a few days. Equality and all that.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 12/09/2026 10:55

I always walk around in my pants in the house 🤷‍♀️

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