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AIBU?

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Original poster

Woman in underwear in own home

309 replies

Alee36 · 11/09/2026 23:35

I'm raging and need to know if I'm blowing this out of proportion.We live in a first floor maisonette, house conversion. We moved in a month and a bit ago and (granted) for two weeks we were without curtains or blinds. Our living room window is at the front of the house and we have a large bay, so the main section of the living area is quite set back from the window.

I have returned from a rare evening out to my husband relaying a conversation he had with the next door neighbour, who knocked on the door. For context we have not met this neighbour yet. Apparently the neighbour said they are having their guttering done at some point next week, and that they will do ours at the same time (lovely,thanks). He then went on to say that last time his contractor was here, he 'saw your partner walking around in her underwear'. This has really bothered me, and more so because my husband said he doesn't see the big deal. My feelings are these:

  1. It was a heatwave
  2. I was in my own home
  3. It would have been huge granny pants akin to shorts and a vest or crop top- you'd see more scantily clad people in the park or at the beach
  4. I wouldn't have been parading in front of the fucking window, but rather just living my life and walking through
  5. My husband frequently walked around in his pants in the heatwave, unsurprisingly this wasn't mentioned
  6. Call me old fashioned, but a gentleman would avert his gaze and crack on with his job?

Overall, why on earth has a contractor passed on this information to our neighbour and why has my neighbour thought it appropriate to then tell my husband? Isn't that weird? That me in my underwear at home is being discussed in a chain of men. Like wtf? If he was trying to be helpful he could have had some tact, and said oh by the way we can see in your windows or something along those lines. I just find it bizzare and inappropriate, and actually quite sexist. Woman in underwear in own home- alert the press. In other news, bikinis allowed on beaches and forks found in kitchen.

Also they are doing the guttering at 'some point next week', so am I to hide out all next week lest I offend with my pjs or whatever I want to wear in my own fucking home?!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Wentforyo · 15/09/2026 14:48

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Wentforyo · 15/09/2026 14:47

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Original poster
Alee36 · 15/09/2026 14:46

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If you were to give someone that type of heads up, would you not say something along the lines of 'just letting you know, as before you had your curtains up I believe your flat was visible to the contractors' rather than 'the last time my contractors were here your wife was walking around in her underwear'. I'm not sure if people are not reading or comprehending my OP or if they're being deliberately obtuse.

No, a typical day/week is not filled with rage (touch wood)

OP posts:
Wentforyo · 15/09/2026 14:10

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Sheschewing · 14/09/2026 17:33

ShitHoleDweller · 14/09/2026 13:57

I read that as a useful, ‘by the way’ to your husband that there was going to be someone up a ladder who might be able to see in the windows.

This makes sense to me too
and probably the DH hence why he’s can’t understand why @Alee36 was/is “raging”

Flamingojune · 14/09/2026 14:23

I'd be glad for the heads up

LetMeGoogleThat · 14/09/2026 14:22

I think YABU, doesn't sound like a complaint or moan. More a tactical mention that you could be seen, in case you were not aware.

You do you! And why not - just be aware that everyone can see you 🤷‍♀️😎

Thirstquench · 14/09/2026 14:17

ShitHoleDweller · 14/09/2026 13:57

I read that as a useful, ‘by the way’ to your husband that there was going to be someone up a ladder who might be able to see in the windows.

Yes me too. And possibly the husband too given he’s chilled about it.

ShitHoleDweller · 14/09/2026 13:57

I read that as a useful, ‘by the way’ to your husband that there was going to be someone up a ladder who might be able to see in the windows.

Watermelonyea · 14/09/2026 13:42

Alee36 · 14/09/2026 11:23

He was taken aback by the neighbour calling round in the evening, he was toddler wrangling and also we don't have a working bell yet and being on the first floor means we can miss someone at the door. Apparently the neighbour was thudding on the door, and apparently only introduced himself as 'I am from number....' not by name. I think DH was flustered and just said 'right okay thanks' and was keen to shut the door. That said, he said he didn't see the big deal in the underwear mentioning, hence my thread for a soundboard.

Show quote history

Really strange that you DH doesn’t think this is strange. That would probably have been the focus on my thread!

Original poster
Alee36 · 14/09/2026 11:23

Watermelonyea · 13/09/2026 15:06

I’m sorry but did you clarify how your husband responded? Long thread!

He was taken aback by the neighbour calling round in the evening, he was toddler wrangling and also we don't have a working bell yet and being on the first floor means we can miss someone at the door. Apparently the neighbour was thudding on the door, and apparently only introduced himself as 'I am from number....' not by name. I think DH was flustered and just said 'right okay thanks' and was keen to shut the door. That said, he said he didn't see the big deal in the underwear mentioning, hence my thread for a soundboard.

OP posts:
Original poster
Alee36 · 13/09/2026 21:38

Watermelonyea · 13/09/2026 15:05

How the heck are you “always home” with a 2 year old? @Alee36 !

Show quote history

I have lived there for a month and a bit and when I moved in I had a knee injury-I tore my meniscus. I also work from home so my time out has been significantly less than usual. I have spent a lot of time at home. I am in every weekend evening precisely because I have a 2 year old. My dh takes my daughter out, so she's fine, don't panic. Hope that helps.

OP posts:
Watermelonyea · 13/09/2026 18:22

Flamingojune · 13/09/2026 17:59

To be honest, not really. I get changed. Thats it.

Show quote history

But you would feel perfectly comfortable walking in your underwear around your home if the mood so took you and your blinds were drawn?

Flamingojune · 13/09/2026 17:59

Snipitpls · 12/09/2026 17:28

And then hopefully you feel comfortable enough to walk around without clothes??

Show quote history

To be honest, not really. I get changed. Thats it.

EmailsaysOOO · 13/09/2026 17:24

AlwaysExtraHot · 13/09/2026 10:28

Get a bra top with ‘wot u looking at’ printed on it .

I think this sort of thing might go down well.

Woman in underwear in own home
Watermelonyea · 13/09/2026 15:06

I’m sorry but did you clarify how your husband responded? Long thread!

Watermelonyea · 13/09/2026 15:05

Alee36 · 13/09/2026 10:06

I have a 2 year old dd

Show quote history

How the heck are you “always home” with a 2 year old? @Alee36 !

Awkwardisfunny · 13/09/2026 10:52

Alee36 · 11/09/2026 23:35

I'm raging and need to know if I'm blowing this out of proportion.We live in a first floor maisonette, house conversion. We moved in a month and a bit ago and (granted) for two weeks we were without curtains or blinds. Our living room window is at the front of the house and we have a large bay, so the main section of the living area is quite set back from the window.

I have returned from a rare evening out to my husband relaying a conversation he had with the next door neighbour, who knocked on the door. For context we have not met this neighbour yet. Apparently the neighbour said they are having their guttering done at some point next week, and that they will do ours at the same time (lovely,thanks). He then went on to say that last time his contractor was here, he 'saw your partner walking around in her underwear'. This has really bothered me, and more so because my husband said he doesn't see the big deal. My feelings are these:

  1. It was a heatwave
  2. I was in my own home
  3. It would have been huge granny pants akin to shorts and a vest or crop top- you'd see more scantily clad people in the park or at the beach
  4. I wouldn't have been parading in front of the fucking window, but rather just living my life and walking through
  5. My husband frequently walked around in his pants in the heatwave, unsurprisingly this wasn't mentioned
  6. Call me old fashioned, but a gentleman would avert his gaze and crack on with his job?

Overall, why on earth has a contractor passed on this information to our neighbour and why has my neighbour thought it appropriate to then tell my husband? Isn't that weird? That me in my underwear at home is being discussed in a chain of men. Like wtf? If he was trying to be helpful he could have had some tact, and said oh by the way we can see in your windows or something along those lines. I just find it bizzare and inappropriate, and actually quite sexist. Woman in underwear in own home- alert the press. In other news, bikinis allowed on beaches and forks found in kitchen.

Also they are doing the guttering at 'some point next week', so am I to hide out all next week lest I offend with my pjs or whatever I want to wear in my own fucking home?!

AIBU?

I'd ask them to tell you as soon as they know which day they're doing the guttering so that you know when to be decently dressed and so you can observe the work. I wouldn't actually let anyone do work like that in case they injure themselves and try to sue, or damage something.

AlwaysExtraHot · 13/09/2026 10:28

Get a bra top with ‘wot u looking at’ printed on it .

Original poster
Alee36 · 13/09/2026 10:21

HostaCentral · 13/09/2026 09:51

Weird. It's just underwear. You are not naked. Would you not walk around in a bikini either? I've spent most of the summer in various states of undress...... If anyone was looking, they would see a slightly overweight, middle aged women, with her boobs and arse covered in fabric. How terrible/shocking/exciting......

Show quote history

Literally same! I'm not much to perv on these days, and I think I'd win an award for least revealing and sexy underwear known to man 😂

OP posts:
godmum56 · 13/09/2026 10:18

Alee36 · 12/09/2026 23:07

No, that's not who he is at all. I think he was quite baffled himself and was just relaying it verbatim. We've never met this man, this was our introduction to him. The rare night out was pertinent because I am always home (sad I know) I wfh and have had a knee injury so not been out much. It felt pointed that he waited until I wasn't in to knock.

Show quote history

I think that's possible - that he waited until he knew he could speak to your husband. He may have felt that you should know but that it would be more embarassing for you and potentially for him to have a strange man tell you. I think I would have found it funny, certainly not raged about it.

I do think though that the contractor should not have mentioned it.

MyGutsyRubyCat · 13/09/2026 10:18

When I was flat sharing many years ago one of the guys moved down to live in the ground floor flat with his girlfriend. She would do her hoovering in her scanty underwear in full view from the window. I can’t say I was bothered by it but I can still remember it decades on! I suppose I was used to the guys walking around without much on.

I’m surprised the contractor made an issue of it given how hot it’s been and I’m surprised your neighbour passed it on.

Original poster
Alee36 · 13/09/2026 10:14

Snipitpls · 13/09/2026 09:26

So absolutely not the case…. A rare night out, you get back presumably happy and relaxed and he decides to welcome you back by telling you at midnight something that he knows will massively piss you off?

Show quote history

I really dont think so, he couldn't comprehend my reaction. He really thought it no big deal, hence this thread for a soundboard, as we had such opposing views on it. I can't imagine he would be that calculated or mean, he's pretty straightforward. I was in at half ten 😂 (party animal)

OP posts:
Sadcafe · 13/09/2026 10:12

It’s your house,you are perfectly entitled to wear as much or as little as you want in it, as long as you don’t set out to deliberately be seen, it’s not an offence. Maybe the contractor should do his job instead of staring in peoples windows

Original poster
Alee36 · 13/09/2026 10:06

Snipitpls · 13/09/2026 09:26

Do you have children?

I have a 2 year old dd

OP posts:
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