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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be utterly fed up?

7 replies

DaisyTutu · 11/09/2026 23:33

AIBU to be utterly fed up. Late forties’ menopause happened, getting fatter by the day, affectionless and stuck marriage, 2 adopted children 12 and 13, with a lot of issues going on which are mid diagnoses. No local family support. I have a full time and stressful job. Husband who also works full time and is away 1 night a week, also stressful job. Lots of anger in the household, usually triggered by the kids. Health issues myself and massive risk of more health issues which is like a cloud hanging over me. I feel like I’m followed by constant bad luck with everything that happens. Just really down on everything. I guess my AIBU is: is this normal at this age and stage of life? Do I need to just get on with it and better times will come?

OP posts:
Paddyshanks · 11/09/2026 23:40

Are you on HRT? Makes a huge difference to me!

TwinklyAmberSloth · 12/09/2026 06:44

Go and speak to your GP.

I'm nearly 47 and this year i have noticed the weight creeping in. I am walking more and eating smaller portions as my metabolism has clearly dropped.

And teenagers are hard work.

Is it feasible to do your job part time?

concertinacornflake · 12/09/2026 06:53

You have got so much going on, much more than average.

A little recognition of that heavy load plus trying to find even 15mins each day for a ritual that is focused on yourself would be a good first start.

Your load is heavier than average I would say as you have children with factually complicated needs, potential long term health issues and a husband working away. The age/stage things are very common but you are working incredibly hard I would say.

If you were my friend I would want to make you a tea and listen to you Flowers

Travelismymiddlename · 12/09/2026 17:15

Things dont just get better. You have to make things happen. Definitely worth seeing your doctor about hormone replacement as a first step. Small changes can also really impact the way you feel. Eating healthier (and smaller portions) and moving more genuinely will help with weight loss. Its hard work but persistence is key. Its taken me 9 months to lose 1.5 stone but its happening because I have been consistent. I have had holidays and special days out where I have treated myself but then straight back on it.

Disturbia81 · 12/09/2026 17:32

Travelismymiddlename · 12/09/2026 17:15

Things dont just get better. You have to make things happen. Definitely worth seeing your doctor about hormone replacement as a first step. Small changes can also really impact the way you feel. Eating healthier (and smaller portions) and moving more genuinely will help with weight loss. Its hard work but persistence is key. Its taken me 9 months to lose 1.5 stone but its happening because I have been consistent. I have had holidays and special days out where I have treated myself but then straight back on it.

This
Menopause doesn’t equal getting fatter, eating more and not exercising does. HRT will sort so much out too.

AnnaBelIa · 12/09/2026 17:38

Prioritise your health and the health of your children. That is my advice. Once you are on top of the health stuff, the rest will become easier to manage.

I went through a time like this and it turned out I was anemic and severely vitamin b deficient. NHS is really awful when it comes to preventative healthcare so you have to be proactive and ask for what you want, or nothing will get done.

Waytoohothot · 13/09/2026 08:46

Adopting children isnt bad luck its a choice,

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