Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people who say "XYZ did this.... but dont mention it!" should be fucking shot?!

10 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/09/2026 23:01

Work colleague did this to me earlier. WHY?! I dont care what that person did (wasnt even that interesting, she applied for a new job) and now I am can't relax around anyone at work just in case I say something I shouldnt.

If you hadnt told me, I wouldn't know so there would have been no danger of me mentioning it! Now I am actually more likely to fucking mention it by accident!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Thecatspantaloons · 12/09/2026 01:00

EverMerge · 11/09/2026 23:13

Jeez just tell everyone and people will stop sharing with you. Plus if they’ve told you they’ve told 4 other people.

I can never keep a secret. Or I do and completely overact when it comes out. Either way, most people love to hear the gossip (apart from the next few posters after my comment)

I think it's human nature to want to unburden yourself to at least one person, despite what anyone on here says.
And the person who tells you a secret, but makes you promise not to do the same, is lacking intelligence self awareness .

ShutteredUp · 11/09/2026 23:24

I can’t imagine getting that exercised about being let into the secret that Dave from IT is thinking of moving on. I mean, it’s hardly the Third Secret of Fatima.

EverMerge · 11/09/2026 23:20

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/09/2026 23:14

Maybe I should just let stuff go and say "Well Josie told me that......" and let the gossipee work how many people shared.

Easier said than done though.

I just think if someone has trusted you with a confidence, either keep it or tell them that you can't promise to keep it.

Difference is you’re overthinking it. If my close work colleague told me something in confidence I do not consider it in the same league as a colleague gossiping about some other random colleague.

I’d most definitely tell my 2 closest friends and most probably someone I work closely with. I’d tell them not to repeat it either. It’s how it works!

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 11/09/2026 23:14

Maybe I should just let stuff go and say "Well Josie told me that......" and let the gossipee work how many people shared.

Easier said than done though.

I just think if someone has trusted you with a confidence, either keep it or tell them that you can't promise to keep it.

OP posts:
EverMerge · 11/09/2026 23:13

Jeez just tell everyone and people will stop sharing with you. Plus if they’ve told you they’ve told 4 other people.

I can never keep a secret. Or I do and completely overact when it comes out. Either way, most people love to hear the gossip (apart from the next few posters after my comment)

3luckystars · 11/09/2026 23:12

Just tell it and she won’t do it again

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 11/09/2026 23:10

mopandsmiff · 11/09/2026 23:07

Super childish thing to say.

Reply: “ Oh gosh I can’t promise not to mention anything sorry, there’s a chance I could forget. Next time better not tell me.”

The woman is older than me, but a massive gossip. At least the last person I knew like this would say "Dont say anything but......" and I could stop him in his tracks. He tried a few times but eventually learned that I didnt want to know.

This one just blurts the secret and then says it is a secret.

It is childish, I agree.

OP posts:
mopandsmiff · 11/09/2026 23:07

Super childish thing to say.

Reply: “ Oh gosh I can’t promise not to mention anything sorry, there’s a chance I could forget. Next time better not tell me.”

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 11/09/2026 23:06

Henowner · 11/09/2026 23:04

People do this to me all the time and burden me with things I neither need nor want to know!

I can only think that they dont want to be the only person with that burden, without realising that it doesnt halve the burden, it doubles it!

OP posts:
Henowner · 11/09/2026 23:04

People do this to me all the time and burden me with things I neither need nor want to know!