AIBU to struggle with my husband going ahead with a vasectomy?

28 replies

Happydays26 · 11/09/2026 22:44

Last month I got pregnant I lost it at 5 weeks very early. My husband has never wanted a 3rd baby but I always have. We were using the pull out method but this particular month along with others we hadn’t! I am devastated as he is getting the snip in 5 days time. I have tried to persuade him not to. But he is adamant. I don’t know how I’m going to ever get over this.

OP posts:

grumpygrape · 13/09/2026 09:48

Mischance · 12/09/2026 23:08

Times have changed. When my late OH had his vasectomy I had to sign a form giving my permission...

Mine had his done just before we were married. The (private) surgeon did ask me a load of questions though.

Anarchy99 · 13/09/2026 09:54

grumpygrape · 13/09/2026 09:48

Mine had his done just before we were married. The (private) surgeon did ask me a load of questions though.

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It’s ridiculous. I wanted to be sterilised when I was 25 and the doctor said I would need permission from my partner (I was single at the time).

I am still mad about it even though I am now well past childbearing age. It would have saved me a lot of hassle

Mischance · 13/09/2026 23:16

I am sorry about your miscarriage.

Your OH is sending mixed messages really. He was happy to rely on the withdrawal method of "contraception" which implied that he was happy to accept the possible consequences of a third child. But now he is keen to go ahead with the vasectomy which sends a new message that a further child is totally off the cards in his mind.

I can see thst this combined with the miscarriage has caused you some emotional turmoil.

I hope that you can find peace with all this.

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