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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to struggle with my husband going ahead with a vasectomy?

28 replies

Happydays26 · 11/09/2026 22:44

Last month I got pregnant I lost it at 5 weeks very early. My husband has never wanted a 3rd baby but I always have. We were using the pull out method but this particular month along with others we hadn’t! I am devastated as he is getting the snip in 5 days time. I have tried to persuade him not to. But he is adamant. I don’t know how I’m going to ever get over this.

OP posts:
WingnutSOS · 11/09/2026 22:49

I’m so sorry for your loss, it is very recent and raw I’m sure. So a surprising time for him to make the choice. It may very well be a reaction to your recent trauma..

That said, we would be critical of anyone restricting a woman’s contraception choices, so does seem that the same must apply to men.

a tough time for you both xx

Meand2Ls · 11/09/2026 22:49

Is this something that has been booked for a while? I only ask because my husbands on the waiting list for the snip but it’s 18 months in our area. If it has been booked for that long were you hoping he would cancel it?
I’m of a very strong opinion that if one person in the relationship doesn’t want another baby that should be that. I’ve seen too many marriages break down on a child someone felt forced to had.
on the other hand if he feels that strongly he shouldn’t be bloody pulling out

PollyBell · 11/09/2026 22:46

Women want men to take control of contraception so he haa done, think what is best for the children you do have if you can't get over this that will effect them how can it not?