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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU no engagement ring

116 replies

throwaway1234566 · 11/09/2026 19:28

My partner and I have agreed to get married. We’ve been together ten years and we’re not exactly spring chickens so I’m perfectly fine with it being a conversation instead of a proposal. However, he hates jewellery so a ring is out of the question and it’s getting to me a bit and I don’t know why. AIBU? Be honest please. I need a kick up the bum!

OP posts:
Grumpyoldcat · 11/09/2026 19:39

Against jewellery. What kind of weirdo are you getting hitched to here. Buy your own ring.

HappiestSleeping · 11/09/2026 19:38

throwaway1234566 · 11/09/2026 19:33

Would it be massively sad if I bought my own?

Show quote history

Just because he hates jewelry doesn't mean he can't buy you a ring. I am not a massive jewelry person, but I still bought my wife an engagement ring, and a wedding ring, and I took delight in doing so because it was important to her. We also had a conversation about getting married as opposed to a proper proposal (i.e. she decided and told me), and we were also not spring chickens.

rubyslippers · 11/09/2026 19:38

throwaway1234566 · 11/09/2026 19:33

Would it be massively sad if I bought my own?

Show quote history

No! More women should buy their own jewllerey
im saving up for one of Susanna Kings pieces

Original poster
throwaway1234566 · 11/09/2026 19:38

MartiniGlassHandbag · 11/09/2026 19:34

In all honesty he should be getting you one because its what you want and itll make you happy. It doesnt need to be £££££ but his actions are taking the shine off moving into this new chapter isnt it?

100%. I don’t need an expensive one. Zirconium instead of a diamond absolutely fine. It’s just not having one at all I’m struggling with

OP posts:
Shloopie · 11/09/2026 19:37

And you're quite sure you definitely want to marry this old grinch?

PerfectPlasticPerson · 11/09/2026 19:37

Have you talked to him about this? If you can't express a desire for an engagement ring (hardly an 'out there' wish) without fearing a negative reaction, I'd question whether he's the right man to be marrying.

What's his objection - I mean, what is it about jewellery that he hates? An engagement ring doesn't have to cost a fortune. You could find a vintage diamond (if that's your taste) for under £200, even less if you're not fussed about a traditional diamond.

HussleMe · 11/09/2026 19:35

He sounds a bit of a misery. Can’t he understand that it matters to his future wife?

BudgetBuster · 11/09/2026 19:35

Presumably he doesn't hate you though?
My DH has plenty of things I don't like... I have things he doesn't like. He has even bought me clothing etc that he thinks are ugly.

I'd have no issue with the no proposal just a conversation and joint discussion but if YOU want a ring, then either he or you both (whatever way your finances work) shiuld be getting a ring. For goodness sake it needn't cost thousands. Just has to be something YOU love

MartiniGlassHandbag · 11/09/2026 19:34

In all honesty he should be getting you one because its what you want and itll make you happy. It doesnt need to be £££££ but his actions are taking the shine off moving into this new chapter isnt it?

Original poster
throwaway1234566 · 11/09/2026 19:34

parietal · 11/09/2026 19:31

Does he hate you wearing jewellery? What would he think if you bought yourself a ring? Will you have wedding rings?

He doesn’t love it but it doesn’t stop me. I have a ring that I wear on my right hand that Iove. He’s a good man, don’t get me wrong, he’s just weird about this one thing and I’ve actually told nobody I’m engaged because we know what the first question is, right?

OP posts:
Whatnumbers · 11/09/2026 19:34

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
throwaway1234566 · 11/09/2026 19:33

rubyslippers · 11/09/2026 19:31

Maybe he hates jewellery but you don’t!!
get a ring
and congratulations

Would it be massively sad if I bought my own?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 11/09/2026 19:31

Maybe he hates jewellery but you don’t!!
get a ring
and congratulations

Whatnumbers · 11/09/2026 19:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

parietal · 11/09/2026 19:31

Does he hate you wearing jewellery? What would he think if you bought yourself a ring? Will you have wedding rings?

Whatnumbers · 11/09/2026 19:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.