AIBU no engagement ring

Can you get a wedding ring with a diamond in it? I did it this way. Seems a happy compromise.

Just tell him you want him to buy you a ring. DH has never worn his wedding ring, nor the expensive Rolex I surprised him with for his 40th, but he still recognises that I like jewellery, hence I have a massive rock on my finger!

It’s not about what he likes, it’s about what you like, and you would like a ring!

Lots of men don't care for jewelry. But they know that (lots of) women like something sparkly on their finger. Men have done a lot more for less...
"All because the lady loves milk tray"

If you buy yourself a ring, will you be any less embarassed to tell people? People might ask if you went "with him" to pick it out, or comment on what a lovely ring "he" chose. Would you feel able to tell the truth?

Why do you want to marry him?

Do you have children together?

I don't think you should be hiding the fact that you are getting married just because you don't have an engagement ring. I don't think it's necessarily the "norm" any more. I have been married twice and didn't have an engagement ring either time.

The current Mr Create dislikes jewellery so doesn't wear a wedding ring, but I do.

If I were to get married again (which I don't plan to), I am not sure I would even bother with a wedding ring. Or I might just for the ceremony, then leave it off for ever afterwards.

But, the bigger issue is why are you having this conversation on here and not with him? You need to be able to discuss your feelings, needs and wants with your life partner, you are failing at the first hurdle.

I had an ex boyfriend, who wanted to get engaged, to keep me, and keep me happy, he’d talked to his best friend about this apparently.

He didn’t buy me an engagement ring, but bought us both expensive wedding rings, which were lovely, but he kept them, I wasn’t even allowed to wear mine.

So I think he wanted something to make it official and keep me happy. But wasn’t actually prepared to give me the ring.

It was a lovely ring, and I never wore it, but we did actually buy them together.

I think I’m trying to say be wary, he may be getting engaged, because he thinks that’s what you want, but maybe making no effort in that direction ( no ring )

Ah, I think this is the problem. This is sweet, but totally normal. He is not an amazing son. Well, I am sure he is lovely, but his reaction is not special op, it is basic level consideration. Why don't you expect this from your future husband?

To you, and thatvis obviously OK for you. But op wants a ring. That is entirely different!

As the saying goes.. if he wanted to, he would

Will he buy a wedding ring?
I think wedding bands look nicer on their own .

@DisforDarkChocolate absolutely right!

He wants you. You want him. And a ring. An engagement ring is a pretty normal thing to want.
so bring him ring shopping and choose a ring for him to purchase you.
He doesn’t have to go ring shopping himself. Is that what’s putting him off rings ?

If you can't have a conversation about engagement rings with the man you are planning to marry, you probably shouldn't marry him. The outcome of the conversation is far less important than whether you can actually talk to your potential husband about what is important to you.

Awwww congrats on your engagement! Different strokes for different folks is my motto !! I got engaged at 21 after a conversation! We did go chose a ring together as I wanted one and now been together 31 years ! As long as you’re happy that’s all that matters !! I do see all the proposals online and sometimes wonder if I missed out but we have the best relationship so just do you !! biy a ting and have a chat if that’s what makes you happy ! Wishing you both lots of happiness Xxx

You have said he has a hatred of jewellery. That’s a strong feeling. Why?

I never wanted an engagement ring so have never had one dont see the point really

I bought my engagement ring myself because at the time I was earning more and if I wanted one it seemed fair...

Plenty of couples shop for a ring together could that be an option? , otherwise it’s selfish of him not to get you a ring just because he doesn’t like jewellery, he should respect that it’s important to you.

Genuinely, I think it's a massive red flag that your fiance, the man who apparently loves you enough to want to marry you, won't buy you a ring because "he doesn't like jewellery". I could understand if it was something controversial, or super duper expensive, but a ring? Nah.

As a woman who often doesn't get the importance of social conventions, can I be curious here? What is the importance of the engagement ring social convention?

Back in time golden jewerelly served as woman's escape fund/backup money.

In the 20th century, less than 10% couples did it, and American diamond dealers run a huge marketing campaing to turn it into a modern social convention. There isn't any real depth behind it, just a clevel marketing making women feel they need one. I hate marketing which makes women feel inadequate fpr nonsencical reasons.

(I'm married, small ceremony, without an engagement ring. Noone asked to see it, but if they did, I'd answer that I haven't decided yet whether I want one)

I don't understand why he not liking jewellery would mean that he wouldn't get you an engagement ring when you want one. What did he say? Talk to him and tell him how you feel. If you are getting married, you need to be able to do this. It could be simple and/ or vintage.

Get yourself a ring and tell him to get over himself!! If it makes you happy he should be getting you a ring, isn't that what it's all about?

Would it be massively sad if I bought my own?
You can do what you like but I dont see the point in engagement rings.
It seems very old fashioned. I dont know any one in the last 30 years that has an engagement ring and weddings rings are becoming less popular as well,it seems!

Same point it's always been? I don't understand your comment about these days?
The point was there was an engagement party and people bought gifts to help start "the bottom drawer"
Seeing that most prope live together and have every thing they need usually, it eliminates that part of the journey to being married.

you can go straight to a wedding band with diamond accents, a combination engagement/wedding ring.