AIBU no engagement ring

This is very odd. You shouldn't buy presents on the basis of what you like, you should buy what the recipient likes.

^ This 100%

He doesn’t have to wear it! Get a nice ring. Congratulations.

No. But it's massively sad that yet another man thinks that only his opinion matters. If he really cared for you, he would want to make you happy above all - he's not being asked to wear the ring, is he?

Maybe you're so used to him behaving like this that you don't see how selfish and self-centred he is.

I wouldn't want a man like that.

Are you sure he wants to marry you @throwaway1234566 ?

Op, can I ask if you talked about a wedding band at all?

I never had an engagement ring - we just set a date. TBH I’d have quite liked one, but at the time (aeons ago!) dh thought ‘getting engaged’ was desperately uncool.

However he bought me a lovely emerald and diamond ring* right after the birth of dd2, which TBH meant a lot more to me.

*At the time we were living abroad among a largely non-Brit community - a female neighbour came to see the baby, and commented on my ring - ‘You got that for a GIRL??’

If you want an engagement ring you should have one. Tell him you want one. Tell him you understand that he doesn't like jewellery but this has particular meaning for you and you want to wear one. If he can't be flexible over something that's important to you then you have a problem.
I don't wear mine. But that's me. Nobody needs a ring to be married/engaged. But you do need one if it's meaningful and important to you.

You don't specify if he hates to wear a ring, or if you mean he hates jewellery so won't get you one. The first one is reasonable, he doesn't have to wear a ring if he doesn't like it. The latter is a red flag.

He doesn't have to wear the jewellery! Mean bugger.

Yes. It would be sad that you're marrying a selfish man who cares so little about you that he won't buy you an engagement ring because 'he doesn't like jewellery'

If it’s important to you and he can afford it, then he should buy you a ring. DH doesn’t understand my need for nice jewellery and bags, I don’t get his love and need for expensive cars and am happy to drive a 15 year old one but we both want the other to be happy. If he won’t give way on this which is a small thing how will be over the big issues in life?

I hate whiskey (and am a recovering alcoholic, but even before that, I hated it), but Dh loves it. I still sometimes buy him a nice bottle of whiskey for a special occasion. I can’t even be in the same room because the smell is so off putting, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve something he loves.

If he has weird sensory issues with jewellery, okay, fine. But if a ring matters to you, you should buy a ring you love together.

My first marriage was a conversation and not a proposal and because we where skint I didnt have a ring. I did buy myself a ring a couple of years in and I loved it but it never felt like an engagement ring l, just a ring I bought. My second husband proposed with a ring and it was really special and although I know he couldnt give 2 hoots about my ring or any other jewellery I wear, it is special to me because he went to the shop and chose it and pinched one of my rings to get the right size etc. So, your fiance should make the effort because he loves you, in another analogy, I support Liverpool but I go to watch Man United with my husband because I love him 😆

Whether he hates jewellery or not, he should buy you an engagement ring because you want one! If he's not willing to budge on something that is frankly a bizarre dislike to make you happy, I don't think I'd be marrying him!

Just tell him you'd like to get an engagement ring because it's traditional and would mean a lot to you.

Remind DF that you love jewellery and that he is engaged to YOU not a female version of himself.
Ask him what time he will be available to come with you to select the engagement ring. Straight talk. Tell him it would be more than sad if you bought one for yourself.
Does he wear a watch?

What does it matter if he doesn't like jewelry. he's not the one wearing the ring

He is weird. I wouldn't buy myself a ring.

Engagement rings are complete cringe to me. I don’t have one because if I wanted a ring I’d buy it myself. Why do you care so much about what other people think? Buy yourself a ring if you want one?

It doesn’t matter if he likes it or not- you do and he should want to make you happy.

Girl

If you want an engagement ring, he needs to get you one. End of. Its important to you.

Xx

Just buy a ring you love and tell him you've bought yourself an engagement/ wedding ring.

I never wanted an engagement ring so have never had one dont see the point really

I haven't either.

I've never known anyone who already live together get an engagement ring.

You can tell people you're getting married without a ring. The ring is irrelevant.
I'm married and haven't got an engagement ring because I didn't want one

Heh. I thought I might be the only one. Same here. Might be because there was no proposal, just a conversation and we were married within 4 weeks. Seems a lot of money to spend to be 'engaged' for 4 weeks. I do have a lovely wedding ring though. I think after living together for a decade an engagement ring has little real meaning. I don't judge anyone else for wanting one but I wouldn't see the point for myself.

What sort of rings do you like? Show him and tell him you'll be going to get it and expect him to be with you. If he's as lovely as you think, he'll make the effort for you.