To say my DS cant keep missing school because the school “cant cope”??

Addressing only the adults part, how many adults would it take to bring your child under control? And how many would you expect to be available to him and him only? Schools are massively underfunded and adults in rooms very low. In my class I have 7 children with SEN, one with an ECHP, a third very below in their learning. I have one TA in the morning but in the afternoon she is doing interventions. So it’s just me.

We just don’t have the money or adults available to have one or more adults free to deal with a child regularly getting violent. Where do you think these adults are coming from OP?

Then the LA needs to fund a specialist place. It is the LA's responsibility to provide the education in the ehc, not the school's.

That is why it is important for the 1:1 to be detailed, specified and quantified in F of the EHCP. Then the LA has a duty to ensure it is provided and it can be enforced. When faced with enforcement action, LAs can pull their finger out and fund at a higher level, potentially a much higher level (e.g. one child I know had their TA in school funded at the level of the teaching MPS because that is what it took to fulfil their duty), and that attracts more candidates. Talking generally rather than about the OP’s case specifically, they can also fund a higher staffing ratio, again attracting applicants who may accept the role 2:1 but not 1:1. The LA can recruit directly, which for some schools attracts more applicants.

We advertised for 4 TA posts. We didn’t get a single application….

Home schooling means the LA doesn't have to provide any education. There IS a solution for this child somewhere, only the LA has to sort it out. It could be that the school needs more TA hours, more TA training, or the boy needs a different sort of provision, like in a unit. No parent in the UK is expected to have to home school a child.

EHE wouldn’t suddenly make the system work better for the child, though. Quite the opposite.

But as you know the system isn’t working.

My point is that it’s a long process that the OP hasn’t begun yet. It’s not about availability (at least not at this stage), as the OP hasn’t accepted that a special education setting is needed.

The obvious thing would be to homeschool.

It wouldn’t be ‘the obvious thing’ for anyone who understood how the SEN system works.

If he is not learning anything, and is desperately unhappy why would you do this to him? He will throw this back at you when he is older.
The obvious thing would be to homeschool.
It would be easy because you would only have one child to deal with, not 30.

His problems are much more around behaviour, communication and coping with the environment.

If he’s struggling with the environment then maybe mainstream isn’t the right fit for your son. He’s obviously unhappy, his classmates will be scared by these outbursts and the teaching staff will be exhausted trying to manage his behaviour, worried about the next trigger and the fact they are unable to properly teach 29 other children.
Inclusion in mainstream isn’t always the answer.

Technically schools are babysitters as well. No I wouldn't be happy to see other children have their education disrupted but if this is the only education my son is getting then yes he would be staying at the school. How is being stuck at home waiting months or years for a specialist school going to help him?

OP can you meet the new teacher and try to diplomatically explain what the previous teacher was doing and how it worked, also explain at the school meeting that the new teacher style doesn't seem to suit your DS.
The school needs to provide the support that your DS needs but unfortunately the funds are not there to pay for 1:1 which is where the problem lies, sorry OP it's so difficult.

So many of the country’s problems are summed up in some of the responses to this thread.

Everyone knows what they are “entitled to” and sod everyone else.

Clearly the EHCP is undeliverable by the school AT THIS POINT. They aren't saying they won't try, but they have to get resources to do so. Meanwhile the school also has an important responsibility for the safety and educational needs of the other children. They matter too.

I think you need to get a meeting organised with the school (senco and teacher included) and discuss the situation as it stands and ask for their help. EHCPs are a legally binding document but schools are, in general, finding it hard to recruit suitable staff and many existing TAs are working with multiple EHCPs as well as a good chunk of SEN without EHCPs in a single class for a very low wage.

I am currently a TA but this will be my last year as I cannot afford to continue. Last year I was a sole TA in a class with more than 10 of the children on the SEN register. I struggled to fit in every intervention and therapy required but did the very best I could. This year we have less need within the class but the ones we do have are loud and violent. Again, I’m already running myself ragged trying to do all the interventions, support, therapeutic input and teaching lower ability groups maths. I’ve already been spoken to rudely by two separate parents who both assumed I spend my days photocopying or looking for lids for glue sticks and ignoring their children when actually their children kept me out of the classroom for most of the week between them due to needing help to redirect and calm after overwhelm multiple times. We have a lovely calm and quiet classroom with a softly spoken teacher, we are aware of triggers and try to keep everyone safe but these huge outbursts still happen.

It’s tough for everyone involved but open, honest communication with the school is key to better support.

“I havent actually been inside the new classroom properly. I have seen it from the doorway but thats about it. I might ask if i can have a look because maybe there is something obvious that none of us have thought about”

As a hearing aid wearer I am now well aware that different floor coverings make a huge difference to noise levels. Carpeted floors, soft fabrics, etc help to mute sounds whereas tiled floors can make sounds very harsh. Definitely worth checking!

I would advise that when they call you, you have it in writing from them (can be via email) the time they called, and why they needed you to collect him at this time.
It is really hard and I say this as a parent of an autistic child, who is academic but cannot access education currently......... she is 13 and was fine in primary school, but the environment of secondary school she cannot cope with.
So long story shirt if your son is struggling in the mainstream primary environment, I would guess that things will only get harder as he gets older. Now I am not a professional and I don't have a crystal ball to show yours and your sons future...... but if school are saying they cannot meet his needs I would not disregard specialist provision. I am actually fighting for it for my daughter now. There are specialist provisions that still offer academics such as GCSE, not a lot granted but they are out there.
The school needs to stop telling you to collect him and that they can't meet his needs, and go to the Local Authority and tell them, that even with the current EHCP they are unable to meet his needs.
I wish you all the best and I really do sympathise with you

Actually it is the school's. They have to provide him with an education.

Of course it is the old chestnut of it is bad parenting instead of autism.

That would be a good idea in this case. It might help show if anything was in place last year that's been removed.

How can I take responsibility for my son's behaviour in school especially if that behaviour is due to being autistic? He is disabled.

You can ask for a costed provision map.