To say my DS cant keep missing school because the school “cant cope”??

Oh awesome, so you've found an academy that illegally off rolls any students who they think might damage their results? Or more likely they're discreet and don't tell you things you don't need to know.

I hope that you would be involving the parent at an earlier stage, so that she could work with you to see if there are triggers being missed/aspects of the specific classroom that are an issue. Would it not concern you if a child had attended your school for five years and then suddenly had extreme problems on joining your class? Would you not speak to last year's teacher and reach out to other colleagues who'd worked with the child for tips? I'm sure you would, but I think you and I have both encountered teaching colleagues who are unhelpfully "my way or the highway"...

Autism is classed as a disability so why the quote marks?

It is a complex issue but fortunately schools are no longer allowed to just not bother with children they consider "ineducable" (that is an actual term from the unenlightened past).

If you just write off a chunk of the population the "problem" is invisible in the mainstream schools but the kids still exist. There will have been special schools in your era (my friend's dad, who is of your generation, taught in one).

My mother, who is in her mid 80s, and had a miserable time at school (despite being a success in life generally) said to me apropos of nothing a while back "I'm glad they try to work out how children learn now. I never could learn anything and no-one noticed or cared."

Also as a teacher I have most fun with the "irregular" children.

A lot of teachers were pretty "irregular" themselves.

Thankfully the law disagrees with you.

If a disabled child can't cope in mainstream, they need to be in a specialist school which unfortunately often takes far too much time. Just like it isn't the fault of schools, it also isn't the fault of parents or a disabled 9 year old that the system is shit and takes too long.

But every single child is entitled to an education and disabled children can't be discriminated against.

What a sad and narrow view.

Here we all are contributing to this depressing discussion on our phones. Technology that will have been contributed to by all those "disruptive" non typical people. The neurodiverse are everywhere, working and contributing and a lot of people need a bit of understanding when they're 9 years old.

The teacher would be in breach of the Teaching Standards and therefore contract.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a750668ed915d3c7d529cad/Teachers_standard_information.pdf

The teacher can expect Risk Assessment to take place which identifies risk and procedures to keep all children and themselves safe.

He hated every minute of it and knowing that it was temporary was the only thing that got him through. He had a tutor provided by the LA.

That was for a short period in Year 4, he's in Year 6 now and thriving in mainstream because he has the correct support with his EHCP. He is very social too.

My kid is social even if he is in his own world. He needs children around him.

Not everyone is able to homeschool for a start and it isn't right for every child either. My disabled son had a stint at home, he was miserable and wanted to be back in school.

If they have a mortgage to pay what choice do they have? You always just give up the job to home school.

That’s the perspective of someone not being upping to actually put themselves in that child’s shoes ! That can take years and you will be constantly traumatising a child

My daughter has adhd and finding her the right supports so she can settle in school was very hard and included changing home and area . Some parents are like you and think it’s ok to just leave it to the school but personally I could never leave my child so disregulated , think about it from your sons perspective , if he is having constant meltdowns he is feeling awful . Why would you choose to do that ? Plus why would you leave other children constantly being affected by it ?
my child thankfully is much better now but I’m not sure how she I’ll be in secondary so I’m preparing for the possibility of home education, she is very academic and I would never make her struggle simply because I think it’s the school responsibility. You need to accept your son needs more help and that possibly means changing schools or a lot more support

If OP willingly takes him out of school to homeschool then the LA will wash their hands of her son as they will then have no legal responsibility to find an alternative option.

It is the worst thing she could do if her son needs a specialist school. He will need to stay in mainstream until the LA finds a new appropriate setting for him if that's the way it's going to go.

I think OP is more open to it now but still, it's the start of a new school year with a new teacher which can be difficult for some SEND children anyway. I can see why OP isn't immediately jumping to he needs a specialist school when it is possible with an emergency EHCP review he may able to get more support to stay in mainstream because LA's don't just accept the schools word for it anyway, they will want the school to show that they have tried everything in their power first to keep him in mainstream.

If that doesn't work or the school does show that they have done everything reasonably possible then that is only when the LA may consider specialist school.

Are you saying parents of irregular children don't want a decent education for their children? You know, for them to be in school. After all, every day matters, doesn't it? That's why we have strict attendance policies, unless the school say they can't cope and can't follow statutory guidance or the law or call a meeting. The Equality Act 2010 says there is an anticipatory duty on public bodies to think ahead and make appropriate adjustments. I must have missed the point where it said 'send them home illegally and dehumanise them.'

Speaking as someone who is not average, and does not have regular children I think you're in for a shock when you see the SEND reforms. It will be the norm very soon, and then maybe someone will confront you about your prejudices.

I think all of those who believe the OP is unreasonable to want her child to have an education need to get writing to their MP's and lobbying like fury, because this government plans to move children of the sort you don't want around your children into mainstream schools and cut down on special schools.

Did you know, by the way, that all a child with an EHCP is entitled to is an adequate education? Imagine how you'd feel if that was all your child could have and you'd have to fight for that?

So, seriously, if you want children who can't handle mainstream school to have a place where they can learn and thrive, then you need to get writing. If you don't, then they'll be in your child's class, and taught by people who didn't come into education to teach children like 'that.' I do wonder what sort of children they think they should teach but with any luck your children won't find themselves in that category because of a personality clash.

And if the teacher refuses to teach him?

This is do sad. Had. Friend a a teacher and thr school had funding for a specialist 1to1 he should have that and on a waiting list for a specialist school. I suggest writing to governor head and your mp. And don’t answer the phone as leadt not stsright away. The school trying to put there issues in to ypu as currently the easiest option. I see both sides but it isnt fair

I so agree. Unfortunately people don’t seem to realise that unless the school caters solely for children with special needs, they can’t deal with individual problems at the expense of the majority of children. It’s awful that your DS is obviously worried about this. And why should he have to think that someone else’s child should be put before him? I’m a grandma but this problem never existed during my schooldays or my son’s so I wonder why this is on the increase now.

This whole thread is so worrying for the average person who wants a decent education for their regular children. I’m glad this isn’t the norm for most people

If your son needs specialist help then that is what he needs. Mainstream school isn't set up for that. You may like the idea of both your sons going to the same school and you may not like the idea of labels. But if it's not working then you need to change your attitude. It isn't fair on anybody and it isn't the school's fault. Your son may do much better in other provision and be able to attend mainstream school later on. It is worth a try at the very least, look for the best you can find available.

What about if you need to work??