To say my DS cant keep missing school because the school “cant cope”??

Don't think I've said that have I???

I respectfully disagree. We see many children whose needs change quite quickly. It isnt two weeks, things could have changed over the course of the holidays.

Also, how does the OP know its not been affecting the other children? Even if not direct, witnessing behavior can affect other children.

There's just as many threads about how shit parents of disabled children are, it is all their fault, they just want benefits etc. There's actually one running right now.

If the school doesn't have the resources tbh it doesn't matter what is written in the EHCP. And even if challenged through the Courts that of itself takes time.
A school has the right to try to find a solution.. they are not expected to have on-the-shelf solutions sitting waiting on the off chance it might just fit the specific needs of any given specific child.
Personally I think OP would do much better for her son working with the school rather than threatening legal action. Finding a solution for any child with complex needs is by its very definition a complex-and costly-matter.

I feel like OP is focusing more on the practical aspects for her family than the needs of her child - keeping both DS in the same school, the travel to a specialist provision etc. If the nearest suitable provision to meet need is chosen then door to door transport is usually provided by the council. If OP is worried about the "stigma" of a special school and DS being surrounded by very disabled children, there are so many more options than this!

Ok so the dozens of threads weekly about how crap schools are are ok? I actually have a lot of sympathy with the OP but she cannot expect her child to come above all of the other children in the class. I've seen kids being anxious about coming into school because of that 1 child who throws chairs. Is that ok? I've seen a disabled child have to struggle using the toilet cos his 1:1 TA has been called away to deal with violence. Is that ok? Staff going home with bite marks, black eyes, grazes. Is that ok?
I do feel bad about the situation. We are failing everyone. But it is not school's fault.
If you fancy having a go at doing my job, feel free! Come and do it for a week.

Schools must be given the funding to meet the echp provision. If the band allocated isn't doing this your LA are acting unlawfully. I'm confused as to what a review achieves in this situation though? Plans don't state funding so what's being reviewed?

if you look up Sen legal on YouTube they actually did a video for schools on how to secure appropriate funding.

You asked OP how she would feel if her son hurt anyone. What was your intention with that question if not to imply it would be her fault if it did happen?

The system is broken, I absolutely agree and no, I don't believe it is the fault of teachers any more than I do the fault of parents like me.

Ahh you don't like it when someone tries to make you feel bad about the situation, yet you're quite happy to come on here try and make op feel bad about her situation despite the fact she's also doing all she can to figure out how best to deal with this situation (and is in fact being hindered by her child's school). Why is it ok for you to do that to her, but not ok for others to do it to you?

Did I say it's the parent's fault? The system is broken. Referrals take over 2 years, CAMHS is sending things back to schools to deal with, LAs say we have to find the first £6000 for each SEND child...... There are so many issues.
Out of interest, why do you think we go into teaching? It isn't to be beaten by children (I have had bruises from children lashing out). It isn't to fight parents. It isn't to go home feeling like you've failed everyone (the child who needs help and the 29 others who are collateral damage). It isn't to come on MN every day and see more teacher bashing.
If you're unhappy with the system then go to the LA, go to your MP.
But, yeah, we'll go in again tomorrow morning and do it all again.

I do work in the public sector and I do know. But so many people are so listless about it and just accept it. People say they're under staffed and under resourced, ok so what are you doing about it? Are you making formal complaints? Are you campaigning? Are you protesting? Are you making a fuss with management? Our LA constantly moan about how under resourced they are for send. Their solution, if we're lucky that year, is someone might write a single letter to the government to ask for more funding, wowee. Meanwhile us send parents are out here running multiple tribunals, multiple ombudsman complaints, protests and campaigns, to try and improve things for EVERYONE in the send system.

How many teachers and school staff have signed the petitions around the send reforms? It takes two mins and most probably haven't, yet when they happen it will be the schools the shit show lands on and if you think things are bad now it will be a million times worse. The children people don't want in mainstream will be forced to stay, their parents will no longer be able to appeal and get a different setting named the way they can now and will be reliant on LAs finding and naming suitable settings. Which as most of us parents and those who work in send education know, won't happen. But we'll just apathetically drift into exactly this because too many people just shrug and say oh well we're under resourced and understaffed what we can do. Well you could start by signing the send reform petitions.

It isn't always the schools fault but it isn't always the parents fault either. I'm sure OP would feel awful if her son hurt another child but she can't magically make the system work any faster than schools can.

Alright love, we have taken it up with the la. You know nothing about what we've put in place or tried.
But as always, it's the school's fault.

I have experience of them working really well, with experienced specially appointed staff, small numbers of pupils/high staffing ratio, tailored, personalised curriculum, indoor/outdoor/multiple room access.

My LA are using space in primary schools, where falling pupil numbers leave spare classroom space or in primary schools which had specially built children’s centres which closed. They also use caretaker bungalows, renovated as appropriate, where caretakers are no longer employed to stay onsite.

The process of having school leaders opt into the creation of hubs in their own school and LA advisors seeing excellent practice for pupils (SEND) during regular visits and analysis of outcomes creates a strong system of committed leaders and staff.

Children are supported within the units, contact maintained with the ‘home’ primary school from where they came. Children can return to their ‘home’ school with unit staff support, with staff at the home school receiving training continuing support from the hub. Hub staff and LA advisory staff (SEND) use their expertise to support the hub primary.

LA advisors include the hubs in all monitoring, support and development, just as they do with any school/class/staff.

One blocker is still that there are just not enough hub places to meet the demand.

It isn't just 'one bad experience' for many, many families. It is bad experience followed by bad experience followed by we don't have the money followed by turning around and doing things that actually cost more money in the long run.

The LA might want to use funding bands but that does not alter the LA’s duty to ensure the provision is provided whether the cost to provide it falls within the banding framework or not.

The pp isn’t talking about promises. They are talking about taking action to ensure the provision is provided as per the law. Promises are meaningless, but action can be forced via enforcement action.

And as we can see in the ops situation the school aren't holding an emergency review? Why not? It's all well and good to say it's not schools fault, sometimes it's genuinely not, some schools are amazing, but other times they are absolutely part of the problem and are frankly a bit shit.

Plenty of parents do formally complain following the school’s complaints process and do complain to the governors. Often the complaints are actually from other children with SEND who aren’t getting their needs met either or are a typical quiet masking ASD girl developing deep anxiety as a result of witnessing violence. And plenty of head teachers are there until 10 c’lock most nights filling in all sorts of paperwork and barely have any time for themselves or their families. And teachers are run ragged and TAs quit working for peanuts or cannot be recruited at all. That is the reality on the ground. And the same at the LA by the way which is also under resourced and may also even be staffed with people with SEND in some instances. And they too are making impossible decisions around funding for a variety of vulnerable people. If there was some big bad wolf to blame and solely responsible they would have been found at by now! That is why most people are muddling along trying the best they can given the circumstances they find themselves in.
If I have one bad NHS experience, I am not going to assume that the 1 million people working for the NHS are all crap and out to get me am I. I am going to try and change GPs doctors etc and keep working on finding a solution.

The school isn't given unlimited funds though. They are given funds in "bands". If the child's needs exccmeed this and the school cannot provide what is documented then an emergency ehcp review is necessary.

He needs an emergency ehcp review and you need to name a specialist provision.

You are not helping your son by putting him into an environment he can't cope in. You are putting him at a disadvantage for all the wrong reasons. Mainstream do not have unlimited resources for those with challenging behaviour.

I'm on your husband's side here.

I say this as a mum of a child with challenging behaviour. I would never force him into a space he doesn't fit

Have you ever worked in public sector before? Would it suprise you to hear how often things are promised that fail to materialise?

I don't work in school. But I've worked with enough schools and teachers to get an idea.

Cool. So we don't push for the education our children are entitled to, what do you think will happen in 15/20 years time? They'll be needing more social care support, will be far less likely to manage work, health will be poorer, mental health will be poorer, they will cost you far more in social care support, health care and benefits. Presumably that's what you want though.

The irony is that people saying if their children were dealing with violence at school they’d complain don’t realise that that WOULD HELP. Putting the responsibility back on the school would help! They use it as a threat or to throw in some kind of moral outrage but actually it’s useful so please bloody do!! My daughter was liked with her peers and I’d have parents tell me they haven’t said anything to the school like they were doing me a favour but I’d tell them to please bring it up and ask the school how they are dealing with it.

A disability discrimination claim at SENDIST is about the only way