To say my DS cant keep missing school because the school “cant cope”??

I doubt a primary school has a pastoral team to support the teacher. So who does?

As PP have said, the school are not allowed to call you to collect him like this. I have been working in schools for 14 years and in pastoral for 6 years. They can call and ask you to come in and help to calm him down but they cannot ask you to take him home. This is an illegal suspension. If you decide to take him home, then you should sign paperwork to that effect. The school are breaking the law by calling and asking you to take him home.

If he is difficult for them, you should be having a meeting a making a plan. This school is not supporting his needs and you would be within your rights as a parent to contact the governors and put in a formal complaint. You could also contact Ofsted. If the school can't meet his needs, they need to show proof of that. Moving forward, you need to keep a record of every time you are called and asked to collect DS then follow up with email about this happening. They need to know that you are keeping a record.

If it's a legal obligation & the school aren't able to deliver it... where next?? Simply saying the school is responsible legally as some posters on this thread are doing is not a magic wand. Many posters on this thread say 'it's a legal responsibility' as if that's a magic spell which will somehow put the OPs child at the front of the resources queue.
Therefore, if a school can't deliver the EHCP, and OP (and others) are saying they MUST deliver it immediately... what happens next???🤷🏼‍♀️ The only way to FORCE it to happen is legal process. (Which takes time. Kicking the can down the road...)
Realism seems to go out of the window when some people claim that their legal 'rights' are to be met with immediate effect. People in England don't want to pay more income tax/Council tax. SOMETHING has to give.....🤷🏼‍♀️

If it's a legal obligation & the school aren't able to deliver it... where next?? Simply saying the school is responsible legally as some posters on this thread are doing is not a magic wand. Many posters on this thread say 'it's a legal responsibility' as if that's a magic spell which will somehow put the OPs child at the front of the resources queue.
Therefore, if a school can't deliver the EHCP, and OP (and others) are saying they MUST deliver it immediately... what happens next???🤷🏼‍♀️ The only way to FORCE it to happen is legal process. (Which takes time. Kicking the can down the road...)
Realism seems to go out of the window when some people claim that their legal 'rights' are to be met with immediate effect. People in England don't want to pay more income tax/Council tax. SOMETHING has to give.....🤷🏼‍♀️

I work for primary school that has a successful hub, but part of that success has been identifying a very specific type of student that would benefit from it and resourcing it around that need. Its not just any difficult child is sent there. Its well funded as its a trial..

It has a qualified teacher and a TA in it but many of the children transfer out the hub into special. It hasn't really worked as a permanent solution for more than half the students using it, but its a success in that the children still get education whilst waiting for special and are less traumatised and the classes are less disrupted. For some it works as intended and allows them to keep accessing mainstream.

Edited to say by difficult i mean child having difficulty access education not that the child is difficult.

surely hubs IF PROPERLY RESOURCED could be good for them.
there is no reason that it cannot work well

That depends on the child’s needs. There are reasons other than being properly resourced why hubs/units/provisions don’t work for some DC.

I have 2 DSs with EOTAS/EOTIS. A hub/unit wouldn’t work for them even if it had all the resources in the world.

There are a lot of children though who can’t manage 8-10 GCSEs for various reasons (not always academic) and surely hubs IF PROPERLY RESOURCED could be good for them. As they have somewhere to go in off timetabled lessons. The pressure for some kids to do too many GCSEs is just too much, even if they were in theory academically capable enough (social emotional, mental health, physical health reasons). I agree there has to be proper teaching staff there and a plan for each child. If the hubs come in as a big idea and properly funded, there is no reason that it cannot work well, at least in theory! Same for larger primary schools. In my area of London there are already several working well but they are typically in the multi form entry primaries who also have more funding as they have far more kids. And with more funding comes more resources for all types of additional needs and some savings to eg found dyslexia resources for many and therapies for social emotional etc.

I mean if it's hub or get sent home, obviously hub is better as a short term solution especially if you need to work, but I wouldn't kid myself an education is going to happen in there.

We had one at my secondary but it closed as we had no-one to staff it. The behaviour one remained, staffed by SLT on a rota. That was OK and occasionally academic work got done independently where staff had time to set it.

I do not mean properly run alternative provision here but the cheapo solutions that are proposed in the White Paper.

I don't think the hubs are going to be staffed by a qualified teacher, are they? So it's likely to only be a posher version of a TA taking the child out to work with them.

Certainly at secondary, I cannot see how there could be subject teaching in the hubs, apart from maybe a bit of Maths and English.

Because the hubs don’t work well for many children. The practicalities are that children who find the mainstream environment challenging never actually access learning. They are forever back and forth to regulate rather than actually in lessons.

Hubs are good for children who are lower ability to have inclusion with mainstream - they get to improve where they are strong and have the additional support where weaker but they don’t work as well the other way.

This l agree

If you believe your child could cope in mainstream without having meltdowns with 1:1 dedicated support then push for that with the LA. If necessary and possible get a private professional assessment of needs. It may end up as a court case but if you’re determined the LA will cave at the last minute as they don’t really want to go to court.

Indeed. It would at least be formal though and the problem seems to be that the school are trying to keep things informal.

Which I can understand if you can't meet needs at all, but if you can't meet needs simply due to underfunding the answer is more funding, not moving the child. It's all very frustrating! It relates back to my earlier post about how LAs don't put enough early support in place then complain when they have to fork out even more £££ for more expensive provision.

The review would be of the placement.

Who's threatened legal action?

OP no advice , just want to say you sound so fair , balanced and reasonable ! I'm a teacher and I wish all parents were as fair and understanding . I really hope this is just a blip for your son and things settle down.
You have responded so well to suggestions and haven't tried to push any kind of agenda but seem open minded to everything . Best of luck to you !

DS2 relies on him a lot stood out for me . As someone with additional needs himself especially, his DB should not be relying on him that much.

Your DS has coped up to now but he’s is showing you he’s is not coping. Continuing to keep him there could lead to trauma which can be hard to reverse.
Im surprised he doesn’t have at least 1:1 with that level of need.

He will get stronger and bigger. He needs input to help him regulate himself now. If the school are telling you, they can’t cope, you should listen, especially with how well you say they have done with your older DS.

It doesn’t necessarily need to be a specialist placement now, although it sounds like that might be the best thing for him, but it sounds like that school is not right for him.

Interestingly, most of the time, dads are more reluctant to get their children into specialist placements.

You’re probably also struggling with your DS2 indicating significant needs completed to him big brother and wondering what the future holds for him. The sooner he gets into the right placement, the better his outcome.

And sometimes it is right for them when given the appropriate support.

@sconebone sorry should have said I agree at the start of that!

As a parent much further along the road than @Jacobator SEN parenting is awash with parents in denial about their child’s needs.

My son is academically able and to the outsider we’ve put him in a special school unnecessarily. He’s articulate, sociable, engaging, NT presenting. One of those ‘mild’ autistic people.

What they didn’t see was the time he was in mainstream he was out of the class constantly with his TA, so dysregulated he wanted to kill himself at 10 years old, because trying to fit into an environment was so awful and this was with a school who generally tried very hard to meet his needs.

He wasn’t the type to throw chairs or be physically violent like OPs son. I was very rarely called to collect him. The level of intervention OP describes is, in my experience, well above what can be managed well in a mainstream. It’s all a sticking plaster.

The first day back after school holidays used to be hell. Tears the night before, shaking and meltdowns. Now in wholly specialist senior? Skips off every day happy. No meltdowns. Not ONE in 2 years.

OP is in denial. I see it all the time and the children suffer every time.

So you should know exactly what we're dealing then.
For some children mainstream school just is not right for them.

I already work in a school. Thanks.

is it ok to unlawfully exclude a child? Is it okay to deny them their human right to education? Is it okay the school haven't called an emergency EHCP review? We could be at this all day op. Two wrongs don't make a right.

I never said that you did. You were talking about threads starting about crap schools and I was saying it is the same with threads starting about blaming parents of disabled children.