To say my DS cant keep missing school because the school “cant cope”??

Illegal exclusion.

The problem is that parents whose children are hurt at school can also potentially sue the school for negligence and even report a child over 10 to the police (some even try before that age to log an incident). It’s really not always just about the child with SEND and the OP won’t know the ins and outs of other needs in the class, nor the level of complaints etc by the other parents. Of course some schools do try to off roll unlawfully but others simply really are trying their best and can’t cope and have followed due process/had meetings - but obviously can’t tell about the needs of other kids. That is why you should have a meeting, clear strategy/plan, safe place, early intervention, figure out if it’s post summer transition/anything else going on at home/bullying etc

No, you should have to hide your child away and keep him off school because there’s not enough staff to keep him safe! He’s got a disability he’s not being explosive on purpose. Your child has the right to a full time education, has he got a plan in place is he supposed to have a 1:1.

Those can't be the options though because OP's child is legally entitled to a full time education just like every child is.

While it can take time to get a special/specialist placement, (non-wholly independent) SS don’t have waiting lists in the same way as oversubscribed mainstream school admissions for those without EHCPs can.

For non-wholly independent schools, there are limited reasons the LA can refuse to name parental preference. On its own being ‘full’, which is not defined in law, is not enough of a reason to refuse to name your preference. The LA has to prove the school is so full admitting DC is incompatible. The bar for this is higher than LAs and many schools admit. It has to be something tangible and specific and is more than an “adverse effect”, “impact on” or “prejudicial to”. Sadly, many LAs ignore this and force parents to appeal.

If it's only just started happening, does he have a new (and maybe unsympathetic) teacher-who just can't be bothered?

Your son is basically being excluded but not really formally.
Is sounds like there needs to be a meeting with the school to find out what the hell is going on.
Is the echp being correctly followed?
If yes, why is his behaviour not being managed, if not, why not?
What are they doing to support your son to calm etc?
My nearly 9 year old son has also had some huge meltdowns in school over the years. We have ended up moving him to a different school because the original one couldn't meet his needs. He is incredibly bright but not supported with this and just getting bored and frustrated. Also dyslexic!
Push for the school to get this sorted but do consider an alternative school if it's really not working for him.

If he has always had these outbursts I’m not sure why specialist provision hasn’t been raised sooner. My 6 yo DS has SEN and the other three boys in his year who also have SEN were all moved to specialist provision by this academic year because their needs are too severe for mainstream. Surely school should have realised they couldn’t handle him some time ago and made steps to arrange new provision earlier.

Staff, other pupils and indeed your DS need to be kept safe. This school isn’t for him.

I agree with your DH. It sounds like your son needs to be in an environment which is better suited for him.

OP I agree with you husband this main stream school isn’t meeting your child’s needs. It doesn’t seem fair on the teacher or other children if they don’t have the tools needed.

Specialist schools can have a massive waitlist so I would get that ball rolling. I would also look at other mainstream schools. I have a friend where the school was causing more distress and un regulation. Moving their child to another mainstream school has been amazing for their child.

OP regardless of illegal exclusion and other comments. I would focus on your child and their mental health / needs. Are these needs being met, are they likely to be met and if not how can you support your child. There’s no point fighting a school that long term isn’t a good fit

@Jacobator apart from a new teacher, what has changed?

Because the first thing that came to mind is that the teacher is, furvwhatecer reason, making things harder for your dc. So not a case of him needing to to a special school. But him needing the approach other teachers had up to now.

If this is a case where his behaviour has become harder and harder to handle then it’s a different issue oyswim

What the school is doing is illegal which is why pp is advising OP not to pick her child up. If they have to formally exclude him, this will mean a trail should specialist provision be required as evidence he can't cope in mainstream, that's how the system works.

It’s not the school you need to get annoyed at, it’s the organisation funding the school!

what can they do

Follow the correct, lawful, routes rather than acting unlawfully.

And you say that from a couple of posts?

Wow, I wish life was THAT easy…

The school have said this is temporary, it's not a " technical exclusion" they are not actually looking to exclude at all! They will be working on the situation.

Sent home early is a suspension and breaks legislation and guidance. DfE documents, as posted above, with other correct guidance.

Op. My child is autistic and no longer in mainstream school. I understand the painful reluctance to let go of mainstream but this is the reality.

Your son is becoming seriously dysrgulated in the school day to day and rhey do not have the staff to support him to calm him or engage him effectively

You need to call an emergency ehcp review. Ask either for full 1 2 1 support or transfer to specialist.

If i was you I would be looking urgently at every possible specialist within reasonable distance.

Mainstream school gets harder for Nd kids the older they get unfortunately

And no they should not be calling you but unless they have a safe number of adults what can they do. Just make sure it's all documented so you can use this as evidence rir next steps.

I’m sorry, but it sounds like this is not the right environment for your son for many reasons.

No one is saying your son is naughty or badly behaved because he struggles to regulate, but the problem is that it seems he does get violent when he is unregulated and that is both difficult for a mainstream school to manage and for the other children in the class.

I am sympathetic as I have one child with autism and I know the struggles with mainstream schools. But I also have another child who came home with a massive egg on his forehead because a child in his class became disregulated and in the minute it took the teacher to get the other kids out of the class to try and manage that child, the child started throwing hardback books at everyone…

What happens when he is bought home OP? Calming activities only I hope? No screens/sweet food. Early bed time?... have you actually talked to DS about what might be triggering this? Is there kids bullying him? A clash with his new teacher? If he's been generally ticking along until now then surely there's a fair chance that something quite significant has triggered this? Is this typical when he first starts with a new teacher?

Yes you should be working with the school to figure out how you go forward with this but your DS is at the age where, whatever his needs, DS needs to be encouraged to take some responsibility for his own destiny. It's not all the school's responsibility. I'd also implore you to work with the school at really doing what's right for your son not just what you think he's entitled to. Eg if it's just a case of settling in to a new class and new routine more gradually then perhaps going for a couple of hours a day and building up to full days would be preferable to sending him in for him just to reach boiling point? Perhaps he will be better in a different school but I think you'll only figure this out by unpicking things with your child and the school. I hope you can sort things

Is the provision not being provided detailed, specified and quantified in F, or is it vague and woolly? If the former, have you spoken to the LA. It is the LA who is ultimately responsible for ensuring the provision is provided. That duty is absolute and non-delegable. If chasing the LA hasn’t worked, have you looked at a pre-action letter. If the wording is vague and woolly, it cannot be enforced and needs improving. You can do that via the review process then appealing if necessary.

As per the guidance, a part-time timetable should not be used to manage behaviour.

No he can't. They're unlawfully excluding him and would likely find themselves in deep shit if you started a disability discrimination claim (which is free via the special educational needs and disability tribunal). You need to ask for an emergency review and make the LA aware asap. Also ping out alternative provision needs to put in place as he's entitled to suitable full time education

A child in danger of hurting himself and/or others, in an academic setting that does not have the resources to keep everyone safe...and you are seriously suggesting that the parents do not pick him up when requested???

The school have said this is temporary, it's not a " technical exclusion" they are not actually looking to exclude at all! They will be working on the situation.

The best that OP can do is support the school and her son by temporarily removing him. Would you rather see someone hurt?

You presume it is so easy to get into alternate provision. It really isn't. So unless you think children like OPs should be stuck at home then mainstream it is.