To say my DS cant keep missing school because the school “cant cope”??

I agree with this.

The school is at fault here.

They are illegally excluding him, and relying on the fact that the parents won’t realise.

Without the evidence of the exclusions it’s harder to prove that the school isn’t able to meet his needs.

The OP is right to contact the Local Authority and ask for a emergency/early Annual review so that the school can explain exactly how they are fulfilling the requirements of the EHCP, and why they feel the support isn’t working.

OP, I suggest you contact SENDIASS and ask for their support/advice. Every LA has a SENDIASS organisation which supports parents, but sometimes they are called something different.

Also, when you talk about potentially existing aging him privately, don’t mean an independent special school, or are you talking about a mainstream private school. If it’s the latter, then I would advise extreme caution.

Firstly, a mainstream private school is very unlikely to take a child who has aggressive/violent incidents on his record, even if those incidents are as a result of SEND/overwhelm.

if you do find a school to accept him, they will reserve the right to withdraw his place if theh feel that they can’t meet his needs. I have seen this happen several times.

There some excellent mainstream schools with a SEND resource base attached which might be a good option for your ds.

You need to speak urgently to the Inclusion team at your LA to discuss all the options.

Just a cynical question - is your ds’s school due Ofsted any time soon? If so, they will not want to have lots of exclusions on their registers, particularly for a child with SEND!

I’m so sorry your son has had to deal with this. I would move your son to a different school before it has long lasting effects on his education.

But until then he still needs to be educated somewhere and i dont think it should just become my problem because he is difficult to manage.

He's your son! Of course it's your problem.

My daughter is on the spectrum. She had difficulties at school.

when she was out of school (no screens) she fucking loved it and didn’t go back for three years.

she learnt that her and school are not a good fit and she’s much happier out of school.

now has a physics degree from Newcastle.

keeping a kid off school and bored won’t teach then to love school if they experience it as anxiety inducing

OP should focus on the provision detailed, specified and quantified in F rather than the funding. That way, the provision can be enforced if necessary. The LA is ultimately responsible for ensuring the provision is provided, that includes ensuring there is sufficient funding. That duty is absolute and non-delegable. As LAs have been shown, lack of resources, staffing or funding isn’t a lawful excuse for breaching their duties under section 42 of the Children and Families Act 2014.

As a pp said, schools can also look to take legal action.

I dont want to blame the teacher because i dont actually know her and DS isnt exactly the most reliable witness when hes angry lol. But it does seem a very big coincidence that everything has changed since he went into her class.

It sounds very much as though you are blaming this teacher. She's been teaching him for, what, about a week? and there are 30 or so other DC who also deserve that the teacher learn who they are, and how best they learn.

YABU to blame it on the change in teacher, and to refuse to consider a specialist school, while expecting a teacher to know immediately your DS's triggers, and focus on those instead of teaching the whole class.

Hello.

I have a son who was very similar to yours at school. The reason he wasn't sent home all the time was because he had pretty much a full time TA with him. That meant that he could be taken away before he interrupted anyone else's learning.

It's easier said than done but have they applied for that funding as part of the ehcp to be able to get one? We were very lucky in that my son got part funding for 1, and the school covered the rest. I do appreciate this isn't always possible for a school, but I do think that is the solution. He often had to share the TA with another child, but at least they were mostly there.

If it gives you any hope, primary was much harder than secondary. The secondary school seemed much better set up for this. They had an inclusion area where he could go when he was struggling with the big class, and he could continue doing things like maths and English there in a much smaller group with much more support. No ones learning was disrupted then, neither his nor the rest of the class.

Mine used to especially struggle at class changeovers, and unstructured lessons, thing like form class in the morning. Because of the inclusion area, he could go there and avoid these and as a result was much better regulated when in his normal lessons.

It's so hard. I had so much anxiety at the time. But it sounds like you are doing everything you can yourself. X

Children in school need to be ready to learn. If your son doesn’t respond to what the school can reasonably offer to facilitate that, then you need to pick him up. School is not a childminding service.

The guidance is clear that a reduced timetable should not be used to manage behaviour.

The school calling the OP like they are, isn’t a reduced timetable either, it is an informal suspension and should not happen. The guidance is clear that it is unlawful to exclude a pupil simply because they have SEN or a disability that the school feels it is unable to meet and that all suspensions must be formal.

I'm a teacher, albeit secondary.

You have sympathies. My (now adult son) is epileptic and we were often called to come and pick him up. Not because he was having a seizure, but the school would sometimes worry that he didn't seem quite right and regularly thought that he'd be better at home.

Potentially, what's happened with your son is that the transition between one phase of his primary education (a bit like the old infants) and another phase (a bit like the old juniors) hasn't been managed super well. The school might have an ethos of a slightly stricter routine at your son's age and less support overall in the classroom, expectations could also have shifted. He could be struggling to adapt. I think the moving up into another year group big picture could be useful for you.

"In total, across the period between 2020 and 2025, we found that more than 2,000 children with special educational needs were in schools that went on to close."

How pupils with special educational needs are more likely to see their schools close - BBC News https://share.google/83FNoaF7FL8tWBECv

So much of this sounds like my DS. The only difference is he would just walk out of the classroom and disappear - usually to the toilets and be inconsolable rather than aggressive. He ended up refusing school a lot of the time. Tellingly it was only in certain lessons (secondary school) and with teachers who (a) ran very noisy classrooms and (b) who somehow allowed conflict to develop between the pupils - not my son who wouldn't say boo to a goose, but other pupils. The surrounding conflict was too much for my son. I can totally understand how your DS might end up being overwhelmed in a similar classroom and unable to regulate his emotions. Luckily our school agreed that he didn't have to attend the particular lessons that bothered him (no idea what they told the teachers concerned!). So in the end he was back in school for most of it.

If it happens at the same time each day, could you trial DS coming out of lessons before the time when he gets overwhelmed in that noisy period just before lunch. Maybe he could run some errands for the class teacher or be given some activity in the library to do?

But I do agree, you need to have a conversation with the school and SENCO before rushing to send him to a new school which would be a huge upheaval for an already distressed young boy.

The parent can be asked, yes (the OP doesn't appear to have been?) and the OP can decline if she likes. If the school do not know what's triggering the behaviour, nor have a plan to deal with it, what will be different after two weeks (I think two weeks is what's recommended?)

But why does it require an informal (and thus unlawful) part time timetable? If a part time timetable is needed why haven't they offered a formal part time timetable with appropriate monitoring measures and a proper plan for reintegration or alternative provision?

This must be very difficult but I agree with other posters. Throwing chairs and tables is distrupting and unsafe for other kids. I know nobody got hurt but they could get injured next time. I've heard amazing things about specialist schools which may be more suited to your son's needs.

Schools are loco parentis and absolutely are responsible for a child during the time the child is at school.

We said this to our relative - it was clear by chirstmas this was way wind was blowing. Took them till end of summer term to accept that and by then no local school would take the child saying couldn't meet needs.

The current school clearly do not want the child - and now no other school does leaving relative stuck and struggling round work.

If there is a school change for secondary coming up - now would be time to research and talk to local services about options - but special school place well that may well depend on what there is in your area but I'd be looking and then deciding what's best and how to get it.

So I absolutely agree that the school do need a plan in place but I think where we disagree is that I think it is reasonable in the short term for the school to ask parents to implement a reduced timetable informally if this helps. And maybe whilst they work out whether this is an “blip” or a longer term issue. A reduced timetable for a short time with the consent of the parent isn’t unlawful. And in lots of cases schools ask the parent to collect because they would rather have this than take more formal action which will also be on the child’s record if the behaviour escalates. SEN schools can be really strict about where they won’t take children with behaviour difficulties as well as SEN, and it won’t do the OP’s child any favours (a) to have a record of exclusions and (more importantly) (b) to be kept at school in a situation where they are already completely
overwhelmed.

Schools can take legal action but they rarely do. I do know of one case where a school instigated judicial review action when a LA decimated a child's EHCP to make the school seem suitable when they weren't.

They could also do this when the EHCP isn't being appropriately funded. But again they rarely do.

They rarely stand up and tell LAs a child's EHCP needs to be more specific and quantified, despite knowing they should be and this is the only way to ensure adequate funding is provided. Why not?

schools can also tell parents they can't meet needs because they can't do x due to lack of funding and parents can then take action. Again schools very rarely do this though. Why not? These last two in particular wouldn't cost them a penny.

You are being poorly served by the school.

It's not your responsibility to come up with a plan (they haven't even let you see in the classroom!) nor to take an overview of the needs of all the children.

You suspect they're not following the EHCP. They're not doing exclusion paperwork. They are at fault.

How did you know how many children had EHCP in the class? That's not public information.

For what it’s worth I just wanted to mention this as someone who sees it from the other side.

Just because a child has an EHCP doesn’t mean the school get funding for everything necessary. For example, I have seen EHCPs recommending 1-2-1 support and they come with funding of £5,000 per year. How on earth are a school meant to fund 1-2-1 for a child on that? They don’t necessarily have reserve funding to cover the difference which is substantial on many occasions.

It also isn’t provided when the EHCP is issued - I have known occasions where it took 9-12 months for the school to receive the funding from the LA. So how on earth are the school meant to fund anything in the meantime?

My point is that school in your case are more than likely not to be over staffed to the point they have someone available to be with him 1-2-1 when he needs it to help regulate, that’s why they need your support. I agree that if you can come and help him regulate he should go back to class if possible.

Funding is currently so dire in schools it is becoming unusual to have a full time TA in each class. And there can be many conflicting needs that have to be juggled. And for the other children it is scary if things have been thrown - for some children this would make them scared to go.

All I would say is this. Please work with the school. You say they were good with your other child. They can support you in getting the EHCP reviewed and you can support them trying to get extra intervention or support for him.

However, I wouldn’t totally discount what your DH is saying. It may come to this and it may be good to research and have better knowledge of your options.

i wish you the best.

Your son is not the schools responsibility hes yours and they need to keep other children and staff safe, it sounds like your son doesnt want to go And has control, maybe a SEN school would be better and if he does well maybe he can transfer back but saying the school are at fault and its their problem is not the solition