To say my DS cant keep missing school because the school “cant cope”??

I think meet the teacher and also ask if you can be shown round the classroom by DS. He may be able to point out things he likes/dislikes.
If he is struggling for help with his work and can’t verbalise it, can the teacher bring in a whole class thing where a red card gets put up on the table by a student and she goes to that specific table to help, or even individually. That will teach everyone a bit of independence.
At the meeting you could then ask if he’s looking a bit overwhelmed could he maybe take an exercise book to another class/the office or go to the office and ask for something pointless like a pencil for a movement break?

I just feel like once we go down that road thats it, he gets labelled and everyone gives up trying to make mainstream work.

Or maybe he gets the support he needs in and environment that works better for him. Being in a specialist school isn't a punishment or something to be ashamed of.

As for all the people on here saying 'refuse to pick him up and the school will just have to cope' please don't do this. You will be putting your child's wellbeing at risk as well as the health and safety of other children and staff.

They are not legally allowed to leave him sitting at home with no education. Make sure that you know your rights so that you can advocate for your son because they really do rely on parents not knowing things like this at times which is the same for what the school are currently doing with sending him home unlawfully.

Privately arranged for 2 of my kids to go to an alternative provision.. They're much happier, achieving better grades, and don't have meltdowns anymore for being forced to sit in an environment completely unsuitable for their needs...

have you looked into different kinds of alternative provisions or are you just assuming they're for the "worst of the worst?" as I've heard quoted by some people when I tell them about my kids placements, Im funding mine privately atm while we await EHCPs, but it sounds like you'd have no problem getting one to cover the costs, given the school themselves have said they can't meet his needs?
X

£2bn Pupil Premium is a fair chunk of change.

Of course there are funding challenges and real term cuts per child for 15 ish years now but school funding is way, way above what it was when I was at school in the 80s.

My ds went down the school refusal route instead of throwing chairs, but a lot of what your boy is saying about school matches. Too loud, too many people in the way, work too hard etc. We also had the very strict style teacher making things worse issue.

He is now in a special school and the difference is phenomenal. I am also glad that he went there in primary, as I think it would have been harder to find a place for secondary. He does have much more of a trek in a taxi, when we used to have a 10 minute walk. But he is friends with the other kids, so sees it as extended social time.

Kind of similar situation. My Grandson is Autistic. My DD enrolled him in a main stream school.. Had all necessary meetings ect. He started there September 25.
He was 5. Within about 3 weeks of DGS. Starting school. She had the phone calls can you pick him up ect. It got to the point where, he was at school 2 1/2 hours a day. She managed to move him to a school far more suitable for his needs. This school is half an hour away. He gets picked up and bought home, by taxi. DGS is so much happier. My point of this is. Schools should not promise you something if they can't deliver this promise. Caused so much distress and heartache. To all involved. TYFR

Sending him home when not actually excluded with paperwork is an illegal exclusion.

I'd ask for a new ed psych assessment and urgent ehcp review to provide the support (Inc 1-1 if needed). If ed psych feels mainstream cannot work well for him regardless of support put in place then considering resource base or specialist will be advised.

I have a child in specialist and for him it is right. The environment of mainstream simply won't work. My other son is in mainstream with full 1-1.

Arrange an urgent meeting with senco as the current system is not working. They need to increase support while arranging ed psych and ehcp urgent review

Hi. I have read all your posts though not all the replies.

My advice is to speak to the senco about whether they will support you in asking for more support from the LA. What would that look like? More TA hours for starters, I expect.

Does he currently have OT or speech and language included in his ehc? If not, I would ask for both to be included, so he sees the therapists rather than it being delivered by the class teacher.

I would suggest you get a full sensory assessment carried out and implement sensory strategies at home to start helping him to calm down generally and give him strategies to use at school. Get hold of the book The Out of Synch Child and try some of the activities in it.

Get a full speech and language assessment carried out too. He may have receptive language problems which frustrate him.

If you find sensory or speech and language issues, he might qualify for a unit specialising in those. It may not be behaviour that is his main need. If he is helped to be calm and regulated he might stop acting up.

I would suggest you get in touch with SOS!SEN for support and understanding your rights are and what might help.

Also does he have any diagnoses? Does he get DLA?

Despite what LAs often claim, parents can’t be forced to accept provision at home &/or they can’t be forced to facilitate provision e.g. by being a second adult, so AP doesn’t have to be inconvenient if parents work.

Yep.

When my son was out of school, they did provide a home tutor....for 1 hour a day. I had to fight them to make sure he got his legal full time education.

Do commenters on this thread have ANY idea how difficult it is to get a place in specialist provision.

Just saying ‘oh, he should go to special school’ is absolutely pointless.

Children wait YEARS for specialist provision to become available, particularly children like the OP’s son who sounds like he is doing well academically. Much specialist provision now is only available to students with an extremely high level of need. The OP’s son doesn’t sound like he is anywhere near that threshold.

An EHCP is a legal document which puts provision in place to meet a child’s need. If a school feels that that provision isn’t sufficient or that the funding is insufficient, there are routes they can go down to appeal the EHCP via a review.

What they can’t do is ignore any of the requirements in the EHCP, or illegally exclude the child. Every time the school phones the OP and ask her to take her ds home, without issuing formal exclusion paperwork, it IS an illegal exclusion.

The child is in primary school. Although it isn’t true to say secondary schools get no extra funding other than EHCP funding.

The LA aren’t allowed to leave him without an education,

if he’s not got a space in a school they are supposed to provide education in another way.

this is usually through tutors at home although other options are available.

it is however very inconvenient if you have to work and most LAs have to be chased very hard to make them stick to their legal obligations

This would be a stronger argument if the school were doing exclusion paperwork.

Nope that is the LEA job. It is their legal responsibility.

At my school the best receptionist is ex NHS. They prefer school to NHS as the hours work better for looking after their own kids. All the librarians I've worked with have been amazing. Yes they should be paid more but there's no need to be defeatist.

This is not true. Even if OP’s DS was unable to attend school, the LA is still responsible for providing a suitable full-time education and anything in F.

The odd thing us they DO have funding through the EHCP and until just a few weeks ago, it was meeting need or more or less.

Both on terrible pay scales….
Yet receptionists are expected to navigate aggressive parents and the librarians are now bogged down trying to teach students to read, because parents apparently don’t always have the time.

Nooo.

It's the LA's job.

A lot of us have had to do what you suggest because the LA is crap, but that doesn't make it the parent's job.

You are correct.
But no extra funding.
Just like school pay awards, not fully funded.
So what do you suggest?