Wedding related would you do this? Outside perspective needed.

I already thought it was fine but given the extra information in your update I say crack on with your plans and have a good time.

I agree, but after you've talked about the day (lovely), meal (so good!), venue (spectacular) etc...that's like two minutes... Would he not ask you anything back?
Nothing personal? How's work? Family alright?

I just think If I wasn't invited, I wouldn't go to the venue even if I was in the pool or bedroom the whole time, and no-one knew I was there, I'd feel uncomfortable. And I'd be mortified if someone from wedding saw me.

I think it would be more awkward if the groom brought up the husband when he didn’t care enough to invite him! I’d be avoiding discussing spouses in that situation.

That's ok then, if there isn't any awkwardness it doesn't matter.

Asking about partners/ family is done in a quick chat though isn't it? Would you say your partner was at the hotel if your cousin asked how he is?

It’s paid for so the spouse has every right to stay there, indeed they could have anyone staying in their double room that they’ve paid for.

I think it depends, I've got cousins I'm really close to, and then other ones I see about once every couple of years and were practically strangers.

I think if I got invited and not DH, and someone said "how's the family?" It would be really awkward to say "yeah all good, Dave's just doing some laps in the pool", or "they're great, Dave's up in the room watching a film".

I do understand if you're paying for a room you want to make the most of it, but if I wasn't invited I wouldn't go to the hotel and swerve all the family.

this is why I love MN 😂

I love the passive aggressive little digs like
maybe some of the posters have never been to a hotel in real life

when posters don't agree with some of the comments. Classic 😂😂

Good for you @EugenieGreen

There are some mad responses on this thread maybe some of the posters have never been to a hotel in real life and, as you have pointed out, a lot of assumptions which bear no relation to reality.

Hope you both have a lovely time.

You are absolutely doing the right thing. It's a hotel room you are paying for so you should be able to have who you like in it!

I think cousins weddings are madness. I went to one with my husband- his cousin's wedding. He sees his cousin once a year ( if that) and Id never met them. Yet we got the full 3 course meal. Seemed strange to me but then I only had 8 people at my wedding.

I wouldn't go where I wasn't wanted but then neither would my DH so problem solved. They could stick their invite.

it's not the same 😂

tagging along with work things, you obviously make the most of the circumstances. No one will ever imagine you'd wanted to join a business thing.
Same with hobbies. That's quite common, partners are around but can't be bothered to be included in anything hobby related and do their own thing.

A wedding? I think it's funny but the non invited guest is embarrassing themselves. They are allowed, but it's cringe for them.

Sounds perfectly fine. I once booked two rooms in the hotel and brought my mum and baby (both not invited) along for a wedding. We wouldn’t have attended otherwise as my mum could provide a few hours childcare but not solo overnight. It worked well. Neither of them attended anything wedding related and there were plenty of rooms. I bet groom’s mother is difficult about a lot of things.

If it’s all say cousins I know if I went and my spouse was upstairs I’d stay until 9-10 then slip away. I’d be happy to catch up with cousins (and my aunts and in my case my parents and sibling) but my family would all be off earlier than later (being 40/70) and not wanting to down shots with family into the small hours.

if it’s all 20-30 something cousins maybe it would be different here.

I cant see what it has to do with the bride, groom, family. Seems weird only inviting one of them though?

That's a bit different though. You were more distant from the B&G in those circs, so even if you had been seen it wouldn't have been awkward. If the B&G or the wedding party bump into the spouses they'll probably feel obliged to invite them in, and then it'll get contentious when the other spouses find out - so and so's spouse was there but I wasn't invited etc.

Weird decision not to include spouses, but I'd just respect it and stay away. It's a bit crass to attend, especially when you've specifically asked about using the room and been asked not to.

Who stays in the room is purely up to the person paying for the room. Why should anyone be expected to travel and pay for accommodation then be dictated to get their dp can’t be in the room

Not invited, just keep entirely away. Just let your spouse go and do your own thing (separately, not at the hotel).

My wife had a meeting with other people that do her hobby in Windsor. I went too and stayed in the room. I did not attend her hobby.

I was away on business, my wife came too. She was not involved in said meetings

My wife went to her cousin's wedding. I stayed upstairs as was not invited. No one knew.

No one was offended, there was no meow

Just like an invitation is not a summons, the MoG's opinion is not an official decree or holy writ!!

Ignore her silliness and enjoy the weekend away at the hotel. Even better, get together and party with the other banned spouses/partners.

I think this is one of a few predictable consequences of their weird decision to exclude spouses. They can control who comes to their wedding, but they cannot control who comes to the hotel, and it's overreaching of them to think that they can.

I wouldn't do this personally as stay away with work and a night in a hotel isn't really relaxing for me, plus I wouldn't fancy waking up in the night to a drunken snoring partner who's sweaty from dancing getting into bed with me.

But if you're OK with all that then I don't see why not at all, i can't see why it would impinge on the wedding in any way Follett the couple getting married or their guests

The uninvited spouse wants to stay at the hotel which their spouse has paid for (at slightly discounted price)
Your spouse has paid for the room so gets to decide if they have it alone or have their other half along with them. It's not up to anyone else to decide who stays in that room unless they have paid for it imo. And it's not like you are going to crash the wedding.
I would go @EugenieGreen and hope you have a relaxing, pampered day and enjoy the evening with your partner once they have left the wedding celebrations

I don’t see why not. The invitations are for the wedding, not the entire hotel.