Wedding related would you do this? Outside perspective needed.

I think thats batshit. Its a wedding, a marriage celebration, but they are choosing to disregard the status of literally every marriage across the guest list within the family. That's so fucking rude. Its understandable for work mates invited as a group to the evening only, who's partners you've never met. Urgh. Enjoy the hotel. Hope they see you having a fab time! I wouldn't have mentioned it though, just do it. The hotel is open to the public. They are not A list celebs.

I wouldn’t go to a wedding my partner hadn’t been invited to.

Hmm…mulling this over. If it had not had any discount on the room, I would have said it’s fine for spouse to stay there. Given that it’s at a wedding rate (even if slight) is trickier. But think so long as spouse stays out of the way, it is fine!! A real edge case but in balance it’s fine given there is no horrible back story.

Well the cost kind of is the point.
if the household budget is paying for a £200-250 room ( guess) I would damn well want to be there to enjoy it. The bridal party won’t even know she’s there in a public not privately booked hotel, why does it impact them ?

But the spouse isn’t going to the event. She’s going to the hotel, which is open to the public.

@JoyChansey

Thanks for checking - I did go back and look at OP's post but clearly skimmed too quickly!

Nothing to do with MoG or aunt. Enjoy the room and the facilities.

I would have no issue with this, and if I was the bride I’d say knock yourself out and get as much value from the booking as you can!
BUT it seems odd that the spouse has not also been invited.

I really wouldn't. The cost isn't the point. The invitation is. Its a private event, and you're not invited. Why would you go, unless by necessity of caring responsibilities or other similar reason.

It just makes things phenomenally awkward. IMO.

"The uninvited spouse wants to stay at the hotel which their spouse has paid for (at slightly discounted price)."

4th paragraph. The bride and groom are not paying for the rooms.

The invited spouse is.

As I mentioned in my post above, although they got the room at a discount, if the wedding party wants to get in a huff over it, then the invited guest can just say they paid full price for the room, and as the hotel is still open to the public, whoever stays in that room is nothing to do with them.

From what I've read from the OP, is the invited spouse has paid for the room themselves.

I haven't read the whole thread, but I expect it's already been mentioned anyway;

Whoever stays in the room with the invited spouse (i.e. the uninvited spouse), is nothing to do with anyone else, the bride, groom, aunt, mother of the groom, etc.

Especially as they don't have exclusive use of the hotel, and it's still available to the general public.

Obviously the uninvited spouse can't go into certain rooms specifically reserved for the wedding party, but of course they can use the other facilities of the hotel, and common areas, such as the lobby, bar, gym, pool etc.

If they happen to bump into the bride/groom/mum/aunt in any of these common areas, then it's tough. The hotel is still open for all.

The only slight issue is that the invited spouse has got a discount on the room because of the wedding being held at the hotel, which may cause tension, if the wedding party finds out the room is accommodating the uninvited spouse.

However if that subject does come up, then the invited spouse, can simply say to the wedding party that they've paid the going/full rate for the room.

Sounds a good solution to me as long as they don't imping on the wedding party,no problem at all, all booked and paid for, enjoy .

OP says the B&G have negotiated a discounted rate for a certain number of rooms. It doesn't say whether they have paid for those rooms.

If the B&G are paying for the rooms then that is a slightly different situation, but I'm not sure that they are.

@EugenieGreen can you clarify this?

I’d be asking other uninvited spouses if they fancied joining me in the bar/ for a spa. It seems very odd the B&G are paying for double rooms, but not inviting spouses to the wedding itself.

I can’t see any issue with what you are proposing. You’re paying for the hotel room and DH isn’t going to use the facilities, amuse himself and is quite happy to do so. It’s not up to MOG to police a room that she’s not paying for.

YABU. Turning up to a wedding hotel that you're not invited to (even if you say you're not going to go near the wedding stuff) is a bit 🙄
I mean, you can, but why would you want to?!
Wouldn't it be a bit awks if you bumped into someone in a corridor?!
He could always put a fake nose and 'tache on I suppose when in public areas just in case.
It does seem a bit like you can't go anywhere without each other and a bit claustrophobic.

Sounds absolutely fine to me, and frankly sounds like exactly what we would do if one of us wasn’t invited. We’d try to make a weekend out of it, and wouldn’t think twice given the fact that we would be paying our own way and the hotel hasn’t been exclusively booked out solely for the wedding. Only thing I think we’d check was whether the room was booked as single occupancy, in which case we’d just go to reception and sort the difference. Anyone kicking off at this plan sounds mega weird.

If they'd not invited spouses for cost or other practical reasons I don't see why this should be in any way a problem. Given it is a problem, it suggests to me a bit of a closed shop to 'real family' on the part of the mother/auntie. Which is a bit weird.
Depends whether you think their weirdness justifies you annoying them I guess, as they can't stop you, so its up to you.

@Makebelieveanotherlife

Why would there be "sneaking around"?

Will the other hotel guests who have nothing to do with the wedding be "sneaking around" and trying not to be seen?

OP's partner will be a paying guest of the hotel and has just as much right as any of the other guests to use the hotel facilities that have been paid for.

This. It sounds like you want to prove some point. Sneaking around and trying not to be seen. Best to stay home. It’s embarrassing behaviour on your part.

No it doesn't. Weird response.

No it doesn't sound like that at all. None of the spouses have been invited.

Sounds like B&G don’t like the spouse so don’t want them there

When they aren't paying for the room, it really is none of their business who uses it.
I am not fond of weddings so your husband is getting the best deal here IMO.