AIBU to keep inheritance separate from our family finances?

I think that, if you have always had joint finances, then inheritance should also count as joint, at least in as much as you should both get an equal say in how it is spent.

We've always had joint accounts, one pot for everything including savings. I've recently inherited a fairly large amount. While it's mostly been put into bank accounts in my name (for tax reasons), I certainly view it as family money. DH and I will decide together how we will spend that money, how much to invest, how much to give the kids for house deposits etc. That's just how we've always done things, and will continue to do so. While technically it's my money as it's in my account, I won't spend any of it without consulting with DH. But I think that if I said that I want to spend a few thousand on a luxury that we don't really need, such as jewellery, he wouldn't object, and vice versa.

I agree with you. You should keep it separate and decide what happens.

Yes it definitely depends on your relationship, and of course if you divorced the money your parents wanted you to have will be shared with your husband and family. I inherited £40,000 from my mother and used it all to pay off our joint mortgage completely. However not a wise decision as my husband and I split and live separately so although I still live there alone, he still owns half of the house.

@CareBearClaire I think it depends on how you view your dh/family. As I see it it would be family money. We're married, been together for over 20 years with 2 dc. If I were ever to divorce and meet someone else then I would keep it separate.

We would consider it family money, but equally not fritter it away on daily expenses.

I would want inheritance to go to something substantial
or be put into a pension fund.

This

YANBU. I recently was awarded almost £190K from a trust fund after my mum died in June. I didn't even know anything about it, so it was quite a shock. My husband and I have a joint account for bills, etc, but everything else is separate. I paid off our joint mortgage, but then I have made a list of things I would like to put the money towards. Like you, I just don't want to fritter it away. I drew up a list of things I wanted to do and have started a spreadsheet, so I can track that money. Nearly everything is home improvements related, so that will benefit us both, and I also need a new car. I discussed the list with my husband and he knows about the money, and he is fine with it, but I am keeping it as my money and not adding it to the joint account. However, paying off the mortgage means we now both pay less into to joint account each month, so I feel he is benefitting in that way.

Whatever you do with it please put it somewhere other than a bank account as it is basically losing value due to the low interest rates

That's not what she said or meant.

We just need a poster to say 'I would give my inheritance up just for 5 minutes with my parents' and my bingo card will be complete.

Just remember if you do that, then if your husband ever gets a windfall, he’ll probably do the same

I inherited a similar amount when my parents died. We put it in a separate account, but only spent it on special things. Nice holidays and stuff. (But all for us as a family)

YANBU at all. By all means use your inheritance for whatever you want. I chose to put a chuck of mine towards our mortgage but the rest went to various things, holiday, invisalign, house decor.

I inherited some money after my father passed away some years ago, I spent 80% on extending our family home and renovations that benefited us all and added value to a home both my DH and I have on a mortgage.

I kept 20% of the money in an ISA - which I refer to as a rainy day fund… for any emergency’s that we couldn’t otherwise manage with our normal income or savings.

My DH and I have never had a joint account, instead we split bill payments between us, we also don’t have joint saving accounts.

This works well for us… as we know it’s sensible to have an emergency fund, just in case!

Well it depends, our guttering is falling down, we’ve plumbing problems, washing machine and dryer dodgy. If dh sat on n inheritance as our house fell down around us I’d find it sad

I suppose it depends on your family and what you've agreed.

For us, all money is family money. We might keep an inheritance separate, but we'd decide together.

I kept my inheritance and DH kept his. We will use it for common expenses if needed but meanwhile we are pooling our incomes and living on that. It feels fine.

I think it depends on your family make-up. I received significant inheritance from my late husband including life insurance/pension etc - including the house being paid off. That will only ever go to our children. I have a DP who lives with us and my kids love him - but we will never marry and it will never be his owned home. He has his own property that's currently rented out for his (adult) kids. But we both agree that our individual assets will only go to our respective children so there's no issue.

Would you be ok with your DH/DW keeping a £16 inheritance for themelf rather than putting it in the family pot?

Odd perception of my post. I was obviously being general as in unexpected money such as inheritance or lottery win or whatever. Well obvious to everyone but you.

Same. I inherited £250k and it was “our” money

I think it all depends on your circumstances but should probably merit some discussion with DH. How old are the DC? Are they at the stage where they would appreciate some help with student expenses or cars or house deposit? Do you have a reasonable car or could it do with replacing? Or would a second car make life easier? Are you able to budget for a decent holiday out of income or is it years since you had one? Do you have several months worth of expenses saved as a buffer or would illness or redundancy see you struggling?
These are things I would be considering in deciding what to do with an inheritance. If you feel these are all sorted then maybe splurge some of the money on a treat such as a major holiday or a fairly major home improvement (summerhouse? Outdoor kitchen?) or something like art or jewellery but still keep some somewhere it will earn interest.

Anything my husband and I inherit from either of our sets of parents will be family money. Not to say that you are wrong and we are right but that's how we do all of our money.

DH inherited about £50k from his DM and it's just gone into our family pot. We've spent some on the house and a couple of weekend breaks, but a lot is just sitting there.

At some point I'm expecting to inherit something from my parents. It will just go in the family pot again.

All our money has always just gone into a joint account/joint savings. I don't see that suddenly deciding, 'But this is MINE' is particularly reasonable, to be honest. It doesn't matter whether the money came from work, inheritence or a lottery win. We share it.

I think it's fine, as long as you don't mind your OH doing the same if/when he inherits. I've inherited modest amounts twice over the past 10 years, each time I used it for the benefit of the family (home improvements, once in a lifetime holiday). I expect my DH to do the same when the time comes and have made this clear.