AIBU to utterly despise someone based on one comment they made?

Happened just today. A friend of a friend texted her to “warn” her that a “coloured family” were coming to view the house next door. Vile. It’s the barefacedness of it that takes my breath away. (Has also planted a niggling doubt in my mind about my friend, which is unfair…I hope…)

I had 1 DC at the time who was 7 and when I told my mother I had been diagnosed with depression, all she said was “I had 4 of you to look after and you never heard me moaning”
Relations soured

His choice of vocabulary (“spoil”) is disgusting, YANBU.

This has happened to me. Sometimes a “slip up” type comment shows someone’s true nature and you can’t unsee it.

Friends boyfriend (now husband) 'joked' about liking jailbait, the younger the better. Disgusting!

I don’t know about despising him, I think we had the same values and I would end the relationship.

My friends husband who, at their wedding when their small child was doing something he didn't like "do that again and I'll break your fingers". I knew he was absolutely thick before that but this just cemented it. I am as irritated with her as I am with him, that's not how she was brought up, she's not unintelligent, why has she had children with this man.

I’m thinking he meant spoiling the impact and seriousness of it rather than spoil the entertainment of it. As in people may become desensitised to it, if the coverage becomes too much.

I recently had a lift with someone who complained his colleague about to undergo operation and treatment for cancer 'didnt have his mind in the job'

Apparently he should leave worrying about his cancer at home and just get on with his job

I was speechless and really wished I had pulled him up about it

A new male CEO who visited the office of a previous employer.

The office was open plan and he passed a comment on how irritating it was hearing chatter come from different directions. I was thinking finally someone agreed with me when he added ‘I mean, you guys are women so it’s just normal for you, but for men it’s bloody annoying’.

Respect level instantly at zero, and I knew I was now working for a company headed by sleazy misogynistic boors, as he was always surrounded by his group of Teflon men.

It wasn’t long before I left.

I dumped the bloke who I’d been seeing for 3 years and was planning to buy a house with when he made comments about 9/11 when the aeroplanes hit the towers.
I am not going to repeat what he said he as it was abhorrent.
I despised him after that and he was dumped very shortly after.

I remember a work colleague popped his head into my shared office to check if we had heard what was happening -.we had. I remember he said 'its quite exciting actually ' or something along those lines. It has always stuck with me too -such a tactless comment. I think thought it's the distance and seeing it on the TV is like a movie - and people can taccept the reality of whats happening.
I remember when he left, saying a prayer for those people who had died or were in serious trouble.

My partner at the time asked why I was crying watching the news reports as I didn't know the people who were dying. Never saw him the same again after that.

When my premature twins were in incubators in ICU my FIL asked me ' So what's the prognosis? You know, survival-wise?' He was already far from my favourite person but the bluntness of that comment cut me to the core and I acknowledged to myself then that my gut instinct about him wasn't wrong and I vowed to listen to it. Didn't help that I was surging with hormones and very over protective of my babies! A couple of weeks later I had to argue with him about why he could not visit the NICU while he had shingles. He actually said that 'he' didn't want to miss out (on seeing them). Unbelievable! He died a couple of years later but our relationship had deteriorated by then and was only going to get worse.

The answer to your last question is ‘because he used the word spoil’. That’s why her mind went there, it followed from the meaning of what he said.

Of course we should be open to the possibility of different interpretations. But sometimes there just isn’t anywhere to go with a word someone uses. It means something and that’s that. I think this is an example of the word he chose being a clear revelation of what he was thinking.

I agree with Spiritadder. “spoiling it” clumsy but I would have thought he meant that seeing it on repeat takes away the initial horrifying aspect, and appears as if it had no reality. I remember I had to switch it off and tv channels has to reprogram lighter viewing later in the evening because so many were becoming traumatised by the repeats

Someone whom I was quite friendly with at an evening class. He was the life and soul of the party type and all the class seemed to like him. At our first class after 9/11 he thought he was being funny when he said Well it was only a load of Yanks, so who cares?
Another was when my cousin's husband made fun of my aunt and uncle in front of them. They were the kindest people and he was so rude and 20 years later I still despise him.

Plain and simple, it gave her the ick. Don't be such a snot.

Many years ago I was unfortunate enough to witness a horrendous elderly man Vs articulated lorry incident right outside my window. I was only in my early 20s (not that it would be any less harrowing now) and was extremely upset by this. ExH came home from work and I was visibly upset, told him what happened and he pretty much shrugged it off and proceeded to moan about how bad his day at work had been! Apparently that was worse than seeing someone lose their life in an extremely horrific way! Cunt

I wrote off a very good looking guy at uni the first time I heard him speak - he said something extremely lewd and derogatory about my body without realising I could hear him. I never spoke to him in three years.

Not as dreadful as many of the comments on here, but I was in a hospital waiting room once and there were several women (nurses? Not sure) who would come out to call the patients in to be seen. A man of advanced years said loudly, come his turn: “oh, I was hoping to get the pretty one.” I’m sure he thought he was most amusing. Tosser.

Yes I had a blighted ovum which was found out at my 12 week scan. She said a few things
At least there was no baby
So you never was pregnant
Why are they doing an op seems a waste

Even 10 yrs later I still can't look at her the same way.

Lol I really had to chuckle at this...after first choking on my tea to the "how old was he" "60" comment...I assume it was expected he was early 20s. And agreed yaNbu

(CW) Was at work when the Dunblane massacre happened. This guy was staring at the television screen in the canteen at the scenes of the parents racing to the school, and the first thing he said was, 'that must have been some gun he had.' I just felt ice-cold with sheer revulsion.

‘Spoil’ may have been an unfortunate word. But yes, over-repetition of any news diminishes its impact. It’s nice to hear ‘I love you’. But all day, every 5 minutes?
Of course, if you’re looking for a trigger, you’ll always find one!

Mine was my ex got that statement from HMRC showing where your tax goes. He told me he resented paying for the NHS and even if he got cancer he’d never get his money back. I thought it was such a gross statement he only earned around £30k so not true.

I was pregnant at the time he’s was cheating on me. They are together now she went onto get cancer I’ve always wondered if it was some kind of karma (I’m not saying people that get cancer deserve it btw)