AIBU to utterly despise someone based on one comment they made?

My boyfriend in 1996 made very similar comments about the coverage of the murders in Dunblane (“it’s getting boring now”, “this is ridiculous- I want to watch something else”).

He was abusive and generally awful but I was young and sadly say it took me another 8(?) months to break up with him. All part of a bigger picture of him being a shit person overall though.

Words fail how could she say that?!
That's a very sad loss OP, so sorry to hear.

Yes. After 10 years of trying for a baby we finally did it, however, my first scan showed the baby had died. My life absolutely fell apart, my one and only chance lost. The devastation was all consuming. I rang my bff to tell her, bearing in mind I was still carrying my dead child at that point (before the op) and she said, word for word "Oh dear. That's a shame. I've had a bad day myself, my hamster died".... I was speechless. A "bad day"???? I've never forgiven her for her total lack of sympathy or support.

Good. World would be a better place if more took a stand against these behaviours.

So how does that work then. Even without the presence of dementia there can be cognitive decline or other that affects memory, mood and perception of relationships. My mum had increasing anxiety to the point of being irrational sometimes. You couldn't ' warning' her out of it. That would have been abusive.
' they can pick and choose' on the basis of whether they think she is pleasant- is not a particularly tenable model is it?
Care workers get assaulted. Also by disabled children. I myself experienced this. I've never been able to get my head around it, how you keep.that workforce safe. But moving elderly people from pillar to post isn't the answer.

Yes I have taken deep long term offence to many an insensitive dismissive comment but I do realise now that most of us aren’t taught how to process our emotions healthily and/or are comfortable showing vulnerability, particularly the more masculine of us (including women I know). So I’ve come to recognise when someone is complaining in a seemingly uncompassionate manner because they’re having trouble dealing with negative emotions but can’t admit it.

@Shhhhitsmagic I am so sorry about your DC, and wish them well with the treatment. Take care of yourself too.
Is your DH always such a selfish arse? When you have the strength, think how you could have a life without someone who treats you all like this.

The private facilities can pick and choose who they care for. At the end of the day they have a duty of care for their staff too.

as mum had vocalised her displeasure at her residence, I guess they reached the point of saying if you aren’t happy here then move on

she was very unpleasant and pushed the boundary.

As an aside it seems odd that stress in the elderly resulting in rude behaviour or even physical behaviour, is responded to with a 'formal repremand'
The caring job is extremely challenging but that sort of issue must be common ?

The OP means that in the age of rolling news, the same news item was repeated all day; you mean to give her a nasty sanctimonious AI-assisted put-down.

I hope she's reflecting on how horrible you are.

I had the unfortunate luck of sitting next to a local snobby woman at a funeral, as the family walked in behind the coffin she stated slagging one of the family off because she had a suit on that was from Next in 1998 ,said in such disgust (at this point it's about 2023) i just said ive got older lipsticks than that!
Same woman at a church afternoon tea started slagging off a family because they live in a static caravan/park home,she said fancy living like that! The family are incidentally lovely people
I cant bear said woman and have never spoken to her since, I avoid her at all costs.

I agree that you can be turned off my a comment somebody has said but it also depends on what he really meant. If he meant “spoil” in the sense of it being entertainment then yes, that’s despicable. Amore sympathetic interpretation, though; perhaps he meant they’re showing the replay too often as it’s too unsettling/upsetting to watch and he just put it very clumsily.

When at Christmas time last year after turning ourselves inside out to ensure stepMIL and FIL were not left homeless (due to stepMIL and her brothers stupid ideas and choices) she accused my DH of trying to steal her and FIL mo ey because we were intending on using what money they had left to buy them a small bungalow and completely renovate it for them, but we didn’t have a bottomless pit of money ourselves so had to refuse some of her requests on how it was renovated!

Needless to say we haven’t seen her since, didn’t buy the bungalow and, actually, that’s worked out okay as her brother has had to reap what he has sown, buy them a bungalow and now she’s bullying him (as she always has) to pay for the renovations there. I am just sad that FIL is a weak man and that means he isn’t living closer to us now as they age as they had to move over an hour away to find something cheap enough.

It does mean though that we have been able to extend and when FIL gets too incapacitated we are prepared for if we need to have him live with us. Thankfully DH is maintaining his relationship with FIL outside of her!

I made a group of friends when I moved away and I really enjoyed their company.
Sometimes I met up separately with just this one particular woman .
She had mentioned that some of her co workers were taking the afternoon off work to attend a funeral on a particular day and that she and other co workers would manage the business fine with just the remaining staff .
This was a funeral of a local woman who’d taken her own life ..due to severe mental health issues ( unresolved childhood trauma )
This woman said “ sad , but you’d have thought she’d have gotten over that by that age “
I couldn’t believe she said that

Last year I lost a friend. We knew each other from our late teens, he played and sang in a band and I frequented the pub where they went. Many years later we found each other back through the social media and developed the best friendship possible. Both happily married with children and grandchildren. I was heartbroken when he died after a short cancerfight. Someone found the cruelness to say :
oh stop wining, people might think he was your lover.
i'm 68 now, he was 69 when he died.

I had been working with my new boss for some time. The honeymoon period had worn off. She’d started to show her true colours. She came in one day and started talking about an event when she started using the P (racial slur) word. There were other staff present and then she said it again. I was the only one to call it out.
That was when I knew I needed to look for another job. Luckily I don’t work there anymore.

We had OnDigital at home at the time and more than four channels. BBC News 24 started in 1997. Plus there were five terrestrial channels anyway by then in the UK, and Sky TV started in 1989. There were certainly 24 hour news channels in 2001 and terrestrial channels also stopped their usual programming to cover 9/11.

A colleague asked me a question by email about something, cced to the CEO, which initially looked like a request for help or collaboration. Attached to the email was an old email he had dug out from two years prior to that talking about doing something which had not in the end gone ahead, or had gone in a different direction. He was implying that I'd forgotten to do that thing and trying to get me in trouble.

This put me on my guard and I sent a polite but rather snippy response. He has since indeed proved to be rather a backstabber (not just with me, in fact worse with others) though a rather inept one as no-one likes or trusts him.

Oh OP that's insane. I hope you are ok. X

my hugely built Ex asked me to walk to the local corner shop at just before 11 at night to get him a bar of chocolate. I would have had to walk down a very dark isolated lane. I said absolutely not. He wanted to know why not and that he would do it for me if I asked. I was not happy that I even had to explain why but his response was ‘who on earth would want to rape YOU!’ I was so horrified I just couldn’t speak to him. There was so many other things that he did and said that hurt and angered me over the years but this was stomach churning for me and I’ve never forgotten it to this day.

Im so sorry for your loss. That must have been indescribably heart breaking.

I don't know why people feel the need to make twattish comments to people who are grieving. Its clumsy at best. That must have been so painful.

Some local people who were originall y from Pakistan were opening a small supermarket. These people, from Pakistan, wanted to call it the 'Paki' shop. The council wouldn't let them so they called it the Pakee shop - which was allowed

When Dunblane happened i remember a colleague who had always seemed ok saying (that very day) "oh yes, it's getting awful with crime isn't it,, someone broke in and took our car keys" . What a tone deaf comment! I didn't quite despise her as that's such a strong word, but from then on always thought of her as self centred, lacking in empathy, and stupid.

My DM was the same. Cognitive decline, requiring private hospital care.

Was formally reprimanded for being rude to staff, pinching and biting. I was called in for several meetings with nursing management.

In the end as DM could still use her computer I told her to find another private hospital as she was being kicked out where she was. That worked for a while..

usually associated with a UTI flare up too. We all realised that was when a urine sample needed to be collected from the wheelchair bound person. I always felt sorry for the Staff having to do that..

sending hugs. I understand how you feel!

Mine also accused me of spending her money when she could no longer do PIN numbers or passwords so I took the banking over.