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AIBU?

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Childcare woes

157 replies

Oldandtirednow · 11/09/2026 08:22

This is not so much of a AIBU; rather WWYD?
My son has two children. One was 2 in July and the other was born in August. So very much a new born.
Partner comes from wealthy background. Has had to fight for nothing. Privately educated but who still cannot get a job that she can support herself.

they are currently living in my sons house. She used to live in a flat that her parents owned.
He has a very well paid job. £250+. So money not tight.
they live about 3 hours away.
I am spending way too much time there and am exhausted, as well as having no life of my own because she “cannot cope” with two of them on her own.
he does nearly all the childcare and all of the housework and cooking.

he Wfh and she regularly interrupts him to do childcare if I am not there.
Part of me wants to tell them just to get on with it. But I know if I am not there he will be taking time off for childcare plus housework, which may mean he loses his job.
they have a nanny starting soon but I know they will also want me.
I know it is none of my business how they run their lives. But it feels like my business as he could lose his job because of the amount of time he has to take off. I am also exhausted with it all. I seem to have no life of my own.
despite all of this, I really like her. She is friendly, personable and good company. Just USELESS.
just ranting really and looking for advice.

OP posts:
MaggieMop · 11/09/2026 08:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Oldandtirednow · 11/09/2026 08:33

Barney16 · 11/09/2026 08:31

They need to chuck money at it because they have the resources. Nanny, cleaner, housekeeper, gardener. A two year old and a baby is a huge amount of work. And quite chaotic at the beginning. Does your DIL have family that could help and reassure too?

She does have family. None help because of ill health.

OP posts:
Oldandtirednow · 11/09/2026 08:32

oldest in nursery 3.5 days a week. He has to take oldest to nursery so doesn’t get to work till 10am. When he hoes go into the office.
she sometimes does pick up.

OP posts:
Barney16 · 11/09/2026 08:31

They need to chuck money at it because they have the resources. Nanny, cleaner, housekeeper, gardener. A two year old and a baby is a huge amount of work. And quite chaotic at the beginning. Does your DIL have family that could help and reassure too?

shellyleppard · 11/09/2026 08:27

@Oldandtirednow then I would just let them get on with it??? They have plenty of help so let them crack on.

Oldandtirednow · 11/09/2026 08:26

Weddingideas · 11/09/2026 08:25

£250,000 salary a year? Surely they get a cleaner as well as the nanny and a food delivery service?

Yep. Got both.

OP posts:
Weddingideas · 11/09/2026 08:25

£250,000 salary a year? Surely they get a cleaner as well as the nanny and a food delivery service?