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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD’s dad has taken her overseas and won’t bring her back

410 replies

CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:01

Me and my DD’s (6 years old) dad have been separated for 4 years. He had DD last weekend and has taken her overseas (he had her passport) and has moved overseas (America) with her and won’t bring her back! I had no idea that he was planning to do this! He has obviously been planning it for a while as he would have had to get Visa’s and plan his move to America and so on. He texted me on Saturday morning while he had DD saying that he was at the airport and that he was moving to America for work and that he was taking DD with him and wouldn’t bring her back! He hasn’t answered any of my calls or messages since. I’m going insane worrying about my DD. I’ve been absolutely in bits since, I’m an absolute wreck and can’t stop crying and worrying about my DD and just want her home with me! I’m DD’s primary parent so can’t imagine how scared and upset she must be feeling without me! The police here in the UK won’t do anything as they are saying her dad also has parental responsibility like me so there’s nothing they can do. Social services are refusing to get involved as well. AIBU to think that the police and authorities should be doing more to get my DD home? I’m absolutely in bits and can’t stop crying over it all! I’m furious and livid with her dad too, I’m absolutely raging at him with anger for doing this

OP posts:
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5
VanCleefArpels · 10/09/2026 21:22

Could he have secretly applied for a US passport for her?

ThatCyanJoker · 10/09/2026 21:22

What a despicable thing for your ex to do.
No advice I’m afraid. Can you contact your ex’s family member(s) to find out more? Can you alert the equivalent of our Social Services in New York and raise a safeguarding? Sending you strength.

holkhamhighkicks · 10/09/2026 21:22

Aydel · 10/09/2026 21:12

Is he American? Because if your DD needed a visa, I’m sure they would have asked for both parents’ permission to take her out of the country before issuing a visa.

This. When I took son on holiday to the US I needed a letter from his dad saying he gave permission.

AnotherDelphinium · 10/09/2026 21:22

Last weekend?! Gah!

If this ever happens to anyone else, contact the airports immediately with regards to a suspected kidnap, and if you knew where he was heading, contact those too!

It’s a lot easier to stop before they’ve left or been admitted into a country.

Cadeaukatze · 10/09/2026 21:20

How did he even get her out of the UK - or into the US? I thought you needed a permission letter from the other parent? Has he forged it?

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 10/09/2026 21:20

I am so sorry. Can you track him any way? Have you contacted the airport to find out if it is definitely US he has taken her? Contact the British embassy perhaps? Contact the American police GO ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND GET THIS SPREAD WORLD WIDE. Power of social media. I’m sure they the other parent can only take them for 21 days without it being classed as abduction. Good luck, Op

thequeenoftarts · 10/09/2026 21:19

If you know the business name he works for, contact the police station closest to them and tell them he has abducted a minor British citizen without your consent and you need him arrested and her returned home to the UK

Clearinguptheclutter · 10/09/2026 21:19

As pp suggested I don’t see how he could have legitimately got a visa for her. Perhaps she is on a tourist visa? Which will run out

I really hope someone can help this doesn’t sound right at all

hotmumshit · 10/09/2026 21:19

So its been almost 5 days without her?

Can you go to the press, op?

Get your ducks in a row (completely delete your online presence, political party support etc) and take it to social media? Tiktok would be a great app for spreading the word, I would call out the police, his company and the embassies on social media with photos of your child. She is a missing person atp op

Visit your MP in person tomorrow morning if poss?

Sorry, what did the embassies say? X

PleaseDontTreadOnTheDaisies · 10/09/2026 21:18

Oh god, every mum's worst nightmare. You need specialist legal help, but I believe there are charities/groups with women who have gone/are going through the same thing.
If he has gone to the US, they are part of the Hague Convention - so you are in a better position than if he'd gone off to Dubai or similar.
You will want to find out as much information as you can - such as where he's flown to, where he's working, living etc.
What an evil man, taking a 6yr old away from the primary-caring Mum.

Original poster
CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:17

Aydel · 10/09/2026 21:12

Is he American? Because if your DD needed a visa, I’m sure they would have asked for both parents’ permission to take her out of the country before issuing a visa.

Her father has duel citizenship. I was never contacted about any Visa.

OP posts:
BritsAbroadly · 10/09/2026 21:17

Is he American citizen? Is DD? Hire a PI in New York to find the them both and get an address. You’re going to need it.

Motheranddaughter · 10/09/2026 21:16

Is it a criminal matter I wouldn’t have thought so
Certainly don’t think it’s kidnapping
Hopefully the solicitor will be able to help

You might need a specialist solicitor
I hope you have lots of family/ friends support

Fupoffyagrasshole · 10/09/2026 21:15

Is he American

if not how has he gotten her a secret visa without you agreeing

like the border wouldn’t just let a single dad and a child in without asking questions surely - this makes no sense

if he is in America it’s likely just a tourist visa / otherwise he’s just lying I bet

Original poster
CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:14

CharlotteStreetW1 · 10/09/2026 21:13

Can you contact his employer?

I did and they wouldn’t talk to me because of data protection.

OP posts:
Hmmmmwineandchocs · 10/09/2026 21:14

No advice but i hope and pray you get lots of help and get her back.
What a total bastard he is to do this.

Original poster
CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:14

FanSpamTastic · 10/09/2026 21:13

I would contact your MP and ask for assistance.

Is he working for the same organisation? You may be able to track him down that way.

I’ve emailed my MP as well but I haven’t had a reply yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:13

HuffandPuffandPuff · 10/09/2026 21:11

Oh my goodness, how horrifying for you and your daughter.

Definitely seek legal advice. Do you know where in America? Who his employer is?

Sending you love and strength 💐

He’s in New York, I have the name of his employer.

OP posts:
FanSpamTastic · 10/09/2026 21:13

I would contact your MP and ask for assistance.

Is he working for the same organisation? You may be able to track him down that way.

Original poster
CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:13

Aydel · 10/09/2026 21:10

Contact Reunite and the British Embassy in Washington. Actually, you can contact the consular department in the Foreign Office, and ask to be put through to the desk that deals with the United States.

I’ve contacted the Foreign Office as well but nothing seems to be happening quickly.

OP posts:
Minasama · 10/09/2026 21:13

This is just awful, I’m so sorry OP. It’s terrible that your ex could do this. I hope the solicitor can help. I’m sure it can’t be legal.,

CharlotteStreetW1 · 10/09/2026 21:13

Can you contact his employer?

Aydel · 10/09/2026 21:12

Is he American? Because if your DD needed a visa, I’m sure they would have asked for both parents’ permission to take her out of the country before issuing a visa.

HuffandPuffandPuff · 10/09/2026 21:11

Oh my goodness, how horrifying for you and your daughter.

Definitely seek legal advice. Do you know where in America? Who his employer is?

Sending you love and strength 💐

Aydel · 10/09/2026 21:10

Contact Reunite and the British Embassy in Washington. Actually, you can contact the consular department in the Foreign Office, and ask to be put through to the desk that deals with the United States.