DD’s dad has taken her overseas and won’t bring her back

This is horrible, can’t imagine what you are going through. Good luck, I hope something starts happening and you get her back soon

OP, please try to filter out some of the more dramatic suggestions on here and concentrate on the practical steps that can actually help get your daughter home.

I completely understand why people are angry on your behalf, but I would NOT start a smear campaign against Dad, contact his employer demanding they sack him, go to the press or plaster this all over social media. At this stage you need to be calm, methodical and very careful about what you put in writing. This may end up being evidence in proceedings in America.

Some of those routes may have a place later. For example, his employer might be relevant if they can help establish where he is living or working, and an MP may be useful if a UK government agency is being unresponsive. But neither his employer, the press nor an MP can order your daughter home. They should not become the main strategy and they certainly should not distract you from the Hague process.

From what you have described, I would do the following.

Tonight / immediately

Save the message where Dad says he is at the airport, is moving to America with your daughter and will not be returning her. Screenshot it, back it up and email a copy to yourself.

Save every subsequent message, missed call and voicemail. Do not delete anything.

Make one chronology while everything is fresh in your mind:

• when he collected DD
• what the agreed arrangements were
• when you expected her returned
• when you received the airport message
• exactly what he said
• when you discovered they had actually left
• every attempt you have made to contact him since.

1. Gather DD’s birth certificate, passport details if you have them, any Child Arrangements Order, school details, GP details and anything showing that her ordinary home and life are in England.

1. Write down everything you know about Dad’s whereabouts in America: employer, office, possible home address, relatives, friends, telephone numbers, email addresses, flight information etc.

1. Report it to the police and obtain an incident/crime reference number. If somebody simply tells you, “He has parental responsibility so he can take her,” politely ask for the matter to be reviewed by a supervisor and explain that you are reporting the unauthorised international removal of a child, not an ordinary contact disagreement.

Tomorrow morning

Contact the International Child Abduction and Contact Unit (ICACU) and tell them very clearly:

“My six-year-old daughter was habitually resident in England. Her father took her during his contact time and removed her to the United States without my knowledge or consent. He has told me in writing that he has moved there permanently with her and will not return her. I want to make an urgent application under the 1980 Hague Convention.”

Also contact Reunite International Child Abduction Centre. They specialise in these cases and can talk you through the process.

If you can afford a solicitor

Do not just ring a random high-street divorce solicitor.

Look for somebody who specifically deals with international parental child abduction / Hague Convention cases. This is specialist work.

Send them the chronology and evidence rather than spending the first appointment trying to remember everything while understandably distressed.

Ask them specifically about:

• an urgent Hague return application
• whether any urgent English High Court orders would assist
• preserving evidence of your lack of consent
• locating DD if her precise location is unknown
• representation required in the United States.

If you cannot afford a solicitor

Please do NOT think that means you cannot start trying to get your daughter back.

You can approach ICACU directly. You do not need to have instructed a private solicitor before contacting the Central Authority or starting the Hague process.

Tell ICACU immediately that you have no funds for private representation and ask what assistance is available for an outgoing Hague application to the USA.

The US Central Authority can also help applicants seek lawyers through its Hague Convention Attorney Network, including asking for pro bono or reduced-fee representation where someone qualifies. It is not guaranteed in America, but lack of money is absolutely not a reason to sit doing nothing.

Reunite can also give you free specialist guidance and help you understand what you need to do next.

What I would NOT prioritise right now

Your MP might later be useful if you are struggling to get responses from a UK government department, but your MP cannot order America to return your daughter.

His employer may be relevant if the authorities need information about his location or employment, but contacting them to shame him or try to get him sacked is a completely different matter and could be counterproductive.

The press cannot order her return either.

Facebook or Mumsnet campaigns cannot determine where she should live.

The Hague Convention process can result in a US court ordering her return to England, which is why that needs to be your focus.

I would also be cautious about people pushing OP to demand arrests, criminal charges or public exposure immediately without taking specialist advice first. Criminal action and Hague return proceedings can interact in complicated ways, especially internationally, and the priority should be getting advice from people who actually deal with child-abduction cases rather than taking steps out of anger that could make matters harder.

And I really would urge everyone telling OP to “destroy him”, contact his workplace, expose him publicly etc. to calm down. I know those comments are coming from anger and wanting to help, but OP needs useful information rather than a pile-on.

OP, keep any communication with Dad incredibly simple and calm. Do not threaten him or tell him you are going to ruin his life.

Something along the lines of:

“I do not consent and have never consented to DD being removed from England or relocating to the United States. Please confirm immediately that she is safe, where she is staying, and arrangements for her return.”

Then preserve his response.

You can deal with what he has done and how you feel about it later. Right now the objective is very simple:

Locate DD. Preserve the evidence. Start the Hague process. Get specialist advice. Get her home.

One step at a time.

Can you book a flight and turn up at his place of work? That would be mortifying for him but might focus the mind.

wtf op I’m so shocked reading this and my heart actually aches thinking how would feel if this was one of my children. You’ve had some good advice already, please keep this thread updated and know we’re all here rooting for you, you WILL get your baby back 🫶

Also please ignore advice about getting it all over social media. The last thing you need right now is people commenting on daily mail articles about you, and it will achieve nothing in terms of getting your daughter safely home.

It is not a police or social care matter unfortunately.

You need to see a solicitor and you need to make an application to the High Court. Likely they will need to make an Order to then be processed by the courts in America. Unfortunately it won’t work out particularly quickly.

I would strongly recommend this legal firm based on my experience of using them. Contact them at 9am
tomorrow - they will work swiftly. Tony knows his stuff.
https://creighton.co.uk/family-law/child-care-law/child-abduction/

It’s five years over his entire life, with two of those years being passed the age of 14. It doesn’t have to be five continuous years, and he didn’t have to be resident in the U.S within five years immediately preceding her birth.

Your child is also an American citizen, which does complicate matters unfortunately.

I would guess he got her an American passport, easy enough in uk through the us embassy. Should be able to get her back with a us lawyer and money but will take time. He knows all this, spiteful man to distress a child. Hope she plays up

Both UK and USA are signatories to the Hague Convention. This basically says that if there is a child custody dispute the child must be returned to their place of usual residence for the dispute to be resolved. In this case the child must be returned to UK.

Your solicitor needs to lodge an immediate request with the courts.

I am surprised your ex has obtained a US residence visa for the child given that you also have parental responsibility. Assuming you did not sign anything this would appear to have been obtained by fraud.

go over there and get her back? that's what i would do if you are getting no help from the authorities. Why on earth did he have her passport

This isn't how the police work. You can't just ring them up and ask that they arrest someone.

Ignore this OP. Get a bloody good solicitor and talk to some of the excellent resources other posters have signposted.

Everything crossed for you!

I’m so sorry for this. I’m not an expert but solicitor, Hague convention and press sound right to me. I’d be kicking up the biggest fuss, have his face spread in us press, name his employer and shame them for enabling him even if they haven’t done willingly.

I think you need to apply and get full custody before The Hague convention kicks in.

Contact his employer. Smear them if they refuse to cooperate. Social media immediately!

“Under INA Section 301(g), a child born to one U.S. citizen parent and one alien parent acquires citizenship automatically at birth if the U.S. citizen parent was physically present in the United States or one of its outlying possessions for a total of five years prior to the child's birth, including at least two years of physical presence after the parent's 14th birthday (the five years are not required to be continuous).”

If this applies to your ex, then your child is also a dual citizen. He could have, likely did, easily obtained the passport she was entitled to.

https://www.uscis.gov/citizenship/learn-about-citizenship/i-am-the-child-of-a-us-citizen

Have you contacted your MP?

I'm sat here livid for you. Youre not alone op x

Oh my god what a fucking bastard

I hope the lawyer can help x

I'm so sorry OP, I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling. Your ex-husband has no regard for your daughter and the effect this will evidently have on her. Yes he's her dad but what he has done is totally cruel.

I hope you can get help from others posts. Would contacting his employer help at all?

Sending love and strength

Oh goodness this is awful. I’m so so sorry 😔 I really hope you’re able to get the relevant authorities in motion as it sounds like abduction to me, regardless of his parental rights, and even without a court order x

Do you have any contact with his family?

Who's going to look after her whilst he's working?

Yes, this sounds like international parental child abduction.

Please do not accept the response that “he has parental responsibility too, therefore there is nothing anyone can do.” Parental responsibility does not give one parent the automatic right to permanently remove a child from the UK and relocate her overseas without the consent of the other parent with parental responsibility or permission from the court.

I have unfortunately had experience of my own child being withheld from me by her father, although mine remained in the UK, and my strongest advice is to stop trying to reason with him and start creating a very clear legal and evidential trail immediately.

Screenshot and save absolutely everything, particularly the message where he says he is at the airport, is moving to America and will not be bringing your daughter back. Save your call logs, messages, flight information if you know it, passport details, his US address/employer if known, details of any relatives there and anything showing where your daughter normally lives, goes to school and has her life here.

Contact a specialist family solicitor urgently and specifically tell them that this is an international child abduction / Hague Convention case involving a six-year-old child habitually resident in England who has been removed to the USA without your consent. Those exact facts matter. I would not wait for a normal family-law appointment several weeks away.

I would also contact Reunite International Child Abduction Centre and the UK Central Authority for international child abduction. The USA and UK operate the Hague Convention, which exists specifically to deal with children being wrongfully removed from or retained away from the country in which they normally live.

Go back to the police as well and ask for the matter to be recorded specifically as suspected international parental child abduction, rather than simply a disagreement between two parents. Having parental responsibility does not make an unauthorised permanent removal abroad automatically lawful. Ask for an incident/crime reference and, if necessary, ask for the matter to be reviewed by a supervisor.

If you already have a Child Arrangements Order, take a copy of that straight to your solicitor and the police. If the order says your daughter lives with you, or sets out her time with her father, that is obviously extremely important. Even without an order, however, you should still get specialist advice urgently.

I would also contact her school tomorrow morning and tell them exactly what has happened so there is a contemporaneous record that she has been removed unexpectedly and has not simply changed schools with your agreement.

Please try not to send him angry or threatening messages, however understandable your anger is. Keep anything you send short, calm and child-focused: that you do not consent to your daughter relocating to the USA, you require her immediate return, and you want confirmation that she is safe and where she is staying. Everything could potentially end up before a court.

And please act quickly. Hague Convention proceedings are specifically about returning a child to the country of their habitual residence so that longer-term parenting disputes can be decided there. This is not something I would leave for social services to resolve.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I remember the absolute panic of not knowing whether my own daughter was going to be returned to me, and that was without her having been taken to another country. Get specialist legal help immediately and keep pushing this as an international child-abduction matter rather than allowing it to be dismissed as “both parents have PR”.