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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dh angry I don't sweep up the leaves every day

213 replies

Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 20:56

I don't give a crap about the leaves in the front and back garden, yes it looks lovely when all tidy but I have enough to do.
I work part time, very part time, but I do everything else, all in the house, food shop, cooking, washing, care of Dc, school runs, school meetings, bill payments, dog walks, vets, picking up dog poo, everything.
Literally the only thing I cannot be arsed doing is sweeping up all the leaves every day. I've never said it needs to be done and have never done it as don't care either way.
Dh always sweeps and sorts garden, great, it looks nice, but no one says he has to.
Second time tonight after work that he was storming around angrily, muttering under his breath about having to be the one who always does it, slamming around angrily.
The last time he made a comment, I told him outright that i'm not doing it on top of doing every other single thing in the house and with Dc.

It's because I only work a few hours.

Aibu or is he?

OP posts:
AyeOopDuck · 10/09/2026 21:54

Sweep them up and put them under the duvet on his side of the bed.

Londonmummy66 · 10/09/2026 21:52

Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 21:17

I can't stand mess around indoors

Show quote history

SO you should storm around the house muttering under your breath about how someone is too fixated on leaves in the garden to keep the house tidy and put his crap away. OR tell him you'll treat his mess the way he treats leaves and put them in a bin bag in the bin...

Floatingdownriver · 10/09/2026 21:50

What a dreadful man. I hope he is perfect in every other way.

BCBird · 10/09/2026 21:50

Leaf him to do it!!!!

BCBird · 10/09/2026 21:48

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

😂

BooksnChocolate · 10/09/2026 21:46

Usually I take up leaves on the lawn but last year I didn't get round to it. And guess what... They w just went away by themselves 😁. Blown into the hedge or pulled into the soil by worms. So think I won't bother any more!

FusionChefGeoff · 10/09/2026 21:44

Can you, in a calm moment, say ‘I noticed you were quite annoyed about the leaves earlier’ then leave him space to respond but ultimately you then make the point that ‘The thing is, I don’t see it as an essential task - so if I don’t do it in the day, it doesn’t mean that you have to do it - it’s just you’re choosing to do it’. Then ideally give him an example of something he wouldn’t care less about that you do - so if you usually like to polish the silver every day (!) but chose not to do it one day, you wouldn’t expect him to do that so why does he expect you to clean the leaves when you don’t think it’s essential?

TotHappy · 10/09/2026 21:29

My dh was like this about curtains. There were curtains in one room when we bought the house, that when pulled back had those little fabric swags that could be swagged round them and then hooked back. I rarely bothered, I just pulled the curtains back most days and didn't swag them.

Goodness, he was raging. Mostly just passive aggressive, but then he brought it up IN COUPLE'S COUNSELLING that I didn't swag the curtains and 'left it for him to do'.

I became quite vehement in my explanation that I was not leaving it for him to do, it did not need doing, I could go to my GRAVE with the curtains unswagged forevermore, the house could crumble around me and the whole of human civilization decay before I would be bothered if the curtains had their swags on or off.

Anyway, we don't have those curtains anymore.

godmum56 · 10/09/2026 21:23

Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 21:01

Puts in a binbag and throws them

Show quote history

nooooo they are so good for the garden

ChillWith · 10/09/2026 21:20

Tell him to Foxtrot Oscar and do them himself

Original poster
Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 21:17

MinnieMountain · 10/09/2026 21:15

Are you his maid? I'd stop picking up after the lazy fucker.

I can't stand mess around indoors

OP posts:
MinnieMountain · 10/09/2026 21:15

Are you his maid? I'd stop picking up after the lazy fucker.

Original poster
Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 21:10

cityliving99 · 10/09/2026 21:09

M husband has this Hoover which he bought for DIY debris. You can use it outside, so every now and then he hoovers the leaves! I hate having leaves everywhere, but don’t say anything.
you can also use a lawnmower!
i just don’t have the time for sweeping.

It does look a lot nicer, but is not worth getting angry about

OP posts:
Original poster
Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 21:09

canklesmctacotits · 10/09/2026 21:06

I’d ostentatiously leave web pages for chainsaws open on a visible iPad/ computer. You can’t spend the rest of your marriage listening to him rant about leaves for weeks every autumn.

Taking a chainsaw to him seems a bit extreme 😂

OP posts:
cityliving99 · 10/09/2026 21:09

M husband has this Hoover which he bought for DIY debris. You can use it outside, so every now and then he hoovers the leaves! I hate having leaves everywhere, but don’t say anything.
you can also use a lawnmower!
i just don’t have the time for sweeping.

canklesmctacotits · 10/09/2026 21:06

I’d ostentatiously leave web pages for chainsaws open on a visible iPad/ computer. You can’t spend the rest of your marriage listening to him rant about leaves for weeks every autumn.

Original poster
Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 21:05

parietal · 10/09/2026 21:01

leaves are good for the garden. especially on grass and flowerbeds, they feed the soil and contribute to mulch. don't remove them.

is your DH obsessive about cleaning and tidying in other ways? that would be very stressful to live with.

This is the thing, it's artificial grass (looks fairly realistic though) not our choice, but live in a hot place and the grass sadly couldn't survive.
He is very untidy with other things and i'm the one forever picking up clothes and things left by him and Dc, i'll be f*** if i'm doing the garden too

OP posts:
NoRegretsTheyDontWork · 10/09/2026 21:05

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Radioheads · 10/09/2026 21:04

He sounds like a nasty prick.
A lazy one.

SlugJam · 10/09/2026 21:03

He throws leaves in the bin? 🤯

Original poster
Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 21:03

ChoccyHobknob · 10/09/2026 21:01

I wish I had time to... but if DH expected me to I'd tell him to do one!

But he obviously sees it as him being at work all day, so I should do it daily, he doesn't say that, but it's implied in his passive aggressive ways

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 10/09/2026 21:02

What's the point, might as well wait for them all to fall off 😆

Keroppi · 10/09/2026 21:02

Do you need to work very part time? Maybe he's stressed bc earning and the garden looking tidy brings him some peace. Or is he worried about your turf growing patchy?

Maybe have a convo around household chore balance. Write down everything you do and he does the same, then obviously acknowledge yours is longer bc you work less, but there can be some things that can be redistributed or dropped totally.
After work does he want to take dc and dog for a quick walk, de-stressing himself and allowing you time to crack on with dinner or sweeping the fkn leaves.

Could 1 day a week be leaf sweeping day. As a side note I just go over them with the lawn mower if it's a dry day... I suggest that instead
The leaves haven't even begun to drop mega yet neither

WallaceinAnderland · 10/09/2026 21:01

He sounds barking mad.

Original poster
Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 21:01

Shedmistress · 10/09/2026 21:00

What does he do with these leaves?

Puts in a binbag and throws them

OP posts: