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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh angry I don't sweep up the leaves every day

213 replies

Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 20:56

I don't give a crap about the leaves in the front and back garden, yes it looks lovely when all tidy but I have enough to do.
I work part time, very part time, but I do everything else, all in the house, food shop, cooking, washing, care of Dc, school runs, school meetings, bill payments, dog walks, vets, picking up dog poo, everything.
Literally the only thing I cannot be arsed doing is sweeping up all the leaves every day. I've never said it needs to be done and have never done it as don't care either way.
Dh always sweeps and sorts garden, great, it looks nice, but no one says he has to.
Second time tonight after work that he was storming around angrily, muttering under his breath about having to be the one who always does it, slamming around angrily.
The last time he made a comment, I told him outright that i'm not doing it on top of doing every other single thing in the house and with Dc.

It's because I only work a few hours.

Aibu or is he?

OP posts:
Someonesomewhereinsummertime · 11/09/2026 07:00

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

😂 Brilliant

Buggeroffalo · 11/09/2026 06:53

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

10/10 fantastic

Lurker85 · 11/09/2026 06:53

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

Excellent

Pinkissmart · 11/09/2026 06:49

godmum56 · 10/09/2026 21:23

nooooo they are so good for the garden

They have fake grass and he chucks the leaves in the bottom n. Don’t think he’s worried about the environment

Sally2791 · 11/09/2026 06:45

I can promise you if you did the leaves he would get in a rage about something else

MushMonster · 11/09/2026 06:44

parietal · 10/09/2026 21:01

leaves are good for the garden. especially on grass and flowerbeds, they feed the soil and contribute to mulch. don't remove them.

is your DH obsessive about cleaning and tidying in other ways? that would be very stressful to live with.

This! The leaves are nutrients for your garden. I just brush them off paths if they get slippery.
But the first comment in your thread is the best ever!!!!!

Littlegreywolfcub · 11/09/2026 06:43

godmum56 · 10/09/2026 21:23

nooooo they are so good for the garden

Not if you have plastic grass 😲

Madamecholetsbonnet · 11/09/2026 06:42

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

I think you win Mumsnet 2026!!!

Wingingit73 · 11/09/2026 06:41

Go back to work full time and split the rest of the jobs.

FlatCatYellowMat · 11/09/2026 06:39

Many years ago, when I lived somewhere it would work, I had an outdoor roomba (Dirt Dog I think it was called). Although I'm not sure it would deal with a lot of leaves...

In any case, no. Just because he works, doesn't mean he gets to leave every single chore to you.

WillieBanjo · 11/09/2026 06:36

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

Tree-mendous !!

Daisymail · 11/09/2026 06:28

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

Brilliant!

MagnoliaTreeBlossom · 11/09/2026 06:28

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

Oh, how I miss the laugh emoji. Brilliant post! 🤣

MinnieMountain · 11/09/2026 05:49

Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 21:17

I can't stand mess around indoors

I understand that OP. I have a lower mess tolerance than my DH and our DS(12). Over the years I've pointed out to them (well, DH. DS is still being trained) how it makes me feel and he's pretty good now. I work PT too but tidying up after oneself is basic adulting as far as I'm concerned.

BoldnessReborn · 11/09/2026 05:49

https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/emily-gravett/tidy/9781447273998

Sorry to post a link to a kids book but it's genius. Badger Pete starts by bagging up all the leaves and ends by concreting the forest and his own sett over to be tidy. But he does learn from his mistakes in the end. I couldn't help think of it right away.

Tidy by Emily Gravett

Winner of the Independent Bookshop Week Picture Book Award 2017. From the creator of Meerkat Mail and Dogs , comes a very funny rhyming woodland story about…

https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/emily-gravett/tidy/9781447273998

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 11/09/2026 05:44

I love the leaves on the garden. He needs to relax. Jeez.

Topseyt123 · 11/09/2026 04:31

My response would be along the lines of "if you are that desperate for it to be done then you can just do it because I'm not bothered," and then just ignore his huffing and puffing performance.

My sibling and I were made to go around our parents' very large garden collecting grass cuttings each time the lawn had been mowed because they had bought a lawnmower without a grass box. It was an awful job and I swore that I wouldn't make my own children do anything like it. Collecting leaves would fall into the same category for me.

ItsNotMeEither · 11/09/2026 04:30

This would concern me about his attitude towards you in general. How does he see money if you're only working a few hours, are finances shared or does he use that to control you? If you only work a few hours and you split, do you have a pension plan that you've been paying into?

It's fine to work part time if all of that is sorted and money is family money. If it's not, I'd go back to work full time and he can pay someone to do the leaves.

dreamiesformolly · 11/09/2026 04:20

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

First answer nails it! 😂

PinkyFlamingo · 11/09/2026 03:47

It looks to me you're focusing on the wrong thing. Another example of a useless man who doesn't participate in the running if his own household. And another woman who puts up with it.

Campervanadventures · 11/09/2026 03:43

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

First post nails it 🤣🤣🤣

user1492757084 · 11/09/2026 03:31

Artificial grass and binning leaves are both not the best for the environment.

Buy DH a vaccum and compost tub.
Ask a landscape gardener to remove the grass and plant the area with a tolerant ground cover that you can walk on.
Ask gardener to instruct DH on how to water plants and establish and how to maintain.
Sprinkle compost on plant.

Tell DH that you prefer to see the leaves on the ground but he is at liberty to remove them each day.

RigsbysCat · 11/09/2026 03:14

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

🤣🤣🤣

Meadowfinch · 11/09/2026 01:52

This is literally so ridiculous it made me laugh.

Has your dh always been obsessive, a perfectionist to an absurd degree, and completely unreasonable.

Does he get that it's September and there's another six weeks of leaves falling before they are all down.

That they do no harm and he could just leave them, or spend a quick hour on a Saturday afternoon with a leaf blower.

He needs therapy.

Fullfatandfortyplus · 11/09/2026 01:47

Oh just ignore the fucker. I completely switch off when my DH is like this.