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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dh angry I don't sweep up the leaves every day

213 replies

Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 20:56

I don't give a crap about the leaves in the front and back garden, yes it looks lovely when all tidy but I have enough to do.
I work part time, very part time, but I do everything else, all in the house, food shop, cooking, washing, care of Dc, school runs, school meetings, bill payments, dog walks, vets, picking up dog poo, everything.
Literally the only thing I cannot be arsed doing is sweeping up all the leaves every day. I've never said it needs to be done and have never done it as don't care either way.
Dh always sweeps and sorts garden, great, it looks nice, but no one says he has to.
Second time tonight after work that he was storming around angrily, muttering under his breath about having to be the one who always does it, slamming around angrily.
The last time he made a comment, I told him outright that i'm not doing it on top of doing every other single thing in the house and with Dc.

It's because I only work a few hours.

Aibu or is he?

OP posts:
Spiderx · 11/09/2026 08:46

Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 21:01

Puts in a binbag and throws them

Show quote history

WHAT ?! A waste of good compost...jeez !

LondonLass2026 · 11/09/2026 08:37

I couldn't get worked up about this. There's nothing wrong with a few leaves, and I think it looks nice! Gold/red leaves, start of autumn, getting cooler. It's so pretty.

As a pp said, more will only fall.

@RocksByThePool fantastic joke at the start of this thread!

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 11/09/2026 08:28

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 22:16

Thank you! Was quite pleased, I admit. Can bough out.

Show quote history

You could branch out to comedic writing!

TheSunIsAlwaysThere · 11/09/2026 08:28

Tell him you're the only one who does the cooking, cleaning, washing , school runs, vet appointments, doctors appointments, dentists appointments, hairdresser appointments, dog walking, etc, etc, etc.

StandingDeskDisco · 11/09/2026 08:27

99bottlesofkombucha · 11/09/2026 01:05

So tomorrow, when he gets home, you say dinner is x, I’ve shopped for everything, can you cook it please and watch ds while I sweep the leaves?
the night after, you say would you prefer to cook dinner or sweep leaves?
tne lazy fucker gets home at 4:30, does fuck all, and complains you haven’t swept the leaves. He eats dinner. Single men work harder than him and don’t come home to a clean house and a cooked meal. Having a family should never be easier and less work than being single, but somehow many men expect it to be.
dh and I both work full time, he leaves at 6am and I get home 6-7pm, we have 3 dc who play sport every night and all weekend and we work our butts off to keep our family life going. If he were even a fraction as lazy as your dh he’d be single and discovering the joy of coming home to pick up his 3dc and cook dinner and no other adult doing anything for him ever, he can catch up with the housework on my dc time.

Show quote history

Single men work harder than him and don’t come home to a clean house and a cooked meal. Having a family should never be easier and less work than being single, but somehow many men expect it to be.

I agree, being married should not mean doing less housework than when you were single.
But there are many, many men who never do any housework, single or not. It is almost a point of principle that they will not stoop to doing women's work.

They either go from woman to woman, and get a new one in asap after a breakup, or they just find workarounds.
e.g. Get ready meals and take aways instead of cooking, or go out to eat. Eat out of the takeaway wrappers to avoid having to wash a plate. Get a cleaner or just 'don't see the dirt'. Buy new shirts instead of ironing the old ones, or never wear shirts that need ironing. Leave the bedsheets unchanged for weeks. Never tidy anything away.

Tip: when dating a new guy, check out the state of his house within the first few weeks, and discreetly enquire as to whether he has a cleaner.

listitorchuckit · 11/09/2026 08:25

You could have used reverse psychology here by telling him that you like the autumnal vibe of scattered leaves and would therefore request that he does not sweep them up as, for you, it detracts from the beauty of the season.

You could then just "seethe quietly" when he does sweep them up.

mumumental · 11/09/2026 08:23

I wouldn’t like the crashing about in temper because he didn’t get what he wanted. Be wary of caving to that behaviour.

Imisscoffee2021 · 11/09/2026 08:23

Do you have AstroTurf or something? It's madness to be so anal about leaves... soon there'll be a deluge and it makes more sense to leave them a few days then do it. Sounds like his problem not yours, it's his standard to keep up himself.

Gettingbysomehow · 11/09/2026 08:12

Id go back to work full time and tell him he is now responsible for doing half of everything in the house.

AInightingale · 11/09/2026 08:04

Leaves from a big tree do need to be swept up though? They will blow into the yard and block gulleys and just turn into a slippery mess in wet weather. And they destroy grass if there are layers and layers of them. I have this issue myself - not even my flaming tree! 😡- but I do try to get most of them raked up every year.

Summeriscumin · 11/09/2026 08:03

Nature can be very annoying. Tell him to chop them down and concrete over the whole garden that's cluttered up with plants and grass.

Bestfootforward11 · 11/09/2026 07:56

Get him a leaf blower thing for his birthday

wishingonastar101 · 11/09/2026 07:46

We leave our garden messy in the autumn for the bugs and birds and things

hididdlyho · 11/09/2026 07:41

Sounds like he has too much time on his hands if he's getting so upset over something so minor. My neighbour is obsessive over clearing up leaves as well, I just don't get it. She literally winds herself up, as no sooner has she swept them up that more show up, I can hear her swearing and getting frustrated. When she goes off on a rant, I just picture her walking around a woods, all those fallen leaves would really blow her mind!

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 11/09/2026 07:35

Sweep the leaves every day, but leave something you usually do (and that is important to him!). No clean underwear? Oh sorry love, didn't get round to doing the washing, had to sweep the leaves. There's no bread? Aw, that's right, I was going to pop to the shop but then I saw all those leaves that needed sweeping. Etc.

FlynnD93 · 11/09/2026 07:30

Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 20:56

I don't give a crap about the leaves in the front and back garden, yes it looks lovely when all tidy but I have enough to do.
I work part time, very part time, but I do everything else, all in the house, food shop, cooking, washing, care of Dc, school runs, school meetings, bill payments, dog walks, vets, picking up dog poo, everything.
Literally the only thing I cannot be arsed doing is sweeping up all the leaves every day. I've never said it needs to be done and have never done it as don't care either way.
Dh always sweeps and sorts garden, great, it looks nice, but no one says he has to.
Second time tonight after work that he was storming around angrily, muttering under his breath about having to be the one who always does it, slamming around angrily.
The last time he made a comment, I told him outright that i'm not doing it on top of doing every other single thing in the house and with Dc.

It's because I only work a few hours.

Aibu or is he?

Buy a leaf blower/sucker/garden hoover as you have fake grass I imagine it’s not a huge lawn so shouldn’t take long he may even enjoy it!

LlynTegid · 11/09/2026 07:28

Weekly makes it look tidy, that's enough.

Bryonyberries · 11/09/2026 07:28

Get a leaf blower so it’s quick to get them in one spot. Then he can do it in a couple mins rather than sweeping.

Strangerthanfictions · 11/09/2026 07:26

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

You just won mumsnet

Busybeemumm · 11/09/2026 07:16

He gets home at 4.30?! He is practically part time himself!

Slightyamusedandsilly · 11/09/2026 07:13

I'd say nothing and start mimicking his behaviour (visibly and within his earshot) with a task you hate. Do it for a week.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 11/09/2026 07:12

RocksByThePool · 10/09/2026 20:58

Leaf the bastard.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🍃🍃🍁🍂🍃🍀🍁🍁🍂

Nannyof2boys · 11/09/2026 07:11

Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff · 10/09/2026 20:56

I don't give a crap about the leaves in the front and back garden, yes it looks lovely when all tidy but I have enough to do.
I work part time, very part time, but I do everything else, all in the house, food shop, cooking, washing, care of Dc, school runs, school meetings, bill payments, dog walks, vets, picking up dog poo, everything.
Literally the only thing I cannot be arsed doing is sweeping up all the leaves every day. I've never said it needs to be done and have never done it as don't care either way.
Dh always sweeps and sorts garden, great, it looks nice, but no one says he has to.
Second time tonight after work that he was storming around angrily, muttering under his breath about having to be the one who always does it, slamming around angrily.
The last time he made a comment, I told him outright that i'm not doing it on top of doing every other single thing in the house and with Dc.

It's because I only work a few hours.

Aibu or is he?

Send him round here he'd have heart failure lol we always have leaves even in summer if high winds, we have given up on it. No sooner do we pick them up then more fall.

MyDeftDuck · 11/09/2026 07:09

Oh dear………well you could behave likewise whenever you’re serving up dinner and he is waiting to chow down after doing bugger all to prepare it!

Olive123456 · 11/09/2026 07:07

Does he have autism?

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