AIBU to expect my atheist teenager to respect my faith?

As an athiest myself i agree with your daughter and i think anyone going on about their religion would do my head in. Maybe stop talking about it so much for a bit

@FriendlyMedusa “When exactly have you or your kids required bible passages to complete RS projects?”

I did, but that was years ago

At this time of night, I can only check with the Internet, but it seems that using quotations from religious texts is still happening.

I’m genuinely baffled. Why wouldn’t it be? How would you do a complete piece of work without quoting from the text that you have read? I realise that other religions may have a language barrier but this is one that doesn’t -so you would be expected to quote from it.

• dd

As a dedicated atheist I think that she is being disrespectful towards you. She needs to learn that just because she’s an atheist doesn’t mean she can put down all other people’s beliefs.

is she rude to other people in other ways?

The problem with a lot of young people is that the ability to critically think the issues through is on the wane. She can’t just say religion is stupid, she needs to read books about philosophy and ethics and sciences to build her worldview. Also she’s 16 so she thinks she knows everything and her Mum is just stupid, like most teenagers.

Set boundaries now and teach her what it is to have her ideas but also to respect others without merely dismissing them as wrong. Also, your work in the Church obviously doesn’t interest her, so find another thing you can do together.

The feeling is mutual. When exactly have you or your kids required bible passages to complete RS projects?

I studied all major religions including Christianity and at no point was anyone reading the Quran or Torah, either.

You've obviously got a bee in your bonnet about christians being some sort of oppressed class in Britain '26.

Nope that's out of order....half my family are also religious but doesn't stop me asking if they had a good time or what they up to next...I mean if that's the attitude I can think of several people's work ethics but I would never say actually a job is a job till you get the one you want everytime they moaned they can't get one, either way you could not like many things doesn't mean be disrespectful or nasty

My DS19 makes barbed remarks from time to time. Like you I am an active church goer, lead prayers and do youth work. I know for a fact my DS prays and I pray for him to find faith. Your DD will too. We were discussing our paths to Christ at Bible study last night and we had all been brought up in faith to different extents and most of us had left church but then found our way back. If you know your bible stories it’s like a blueprint and it all comes back to you. Ask dad to respect your faith and pray for her return xx

Only on mumsnet can a religious nut job, sorry, poster, say a 16yr old girl will be 'going to hell'...

The good news is that the church is more interested, historically speaking, in boys than girls.

@FriendlyMedusa ”I don't recall any bit of RS requiring bible passages, let alone parental opinions”

oh, did they finally ban Christianity from the Religious Studies curriculum?

seriously though… I’m so confused by your post.

Bold of you to assume people don't say this to us all day every day. I cannot make a single reference to attending queer events in real life without people acting like I've just described my last smear test.

I don’t understand this.

Leaving aside the “only on MN” bit because it’s unprovable.

Is the sex of the child relevant?

16 year olds of either sex cannot join the army without their parent’s consent and they’ll be just training, surely?

A young person who has enlisted can still be rude.

Is being rude the equivalent of signing up to kill and be killed?

I just don’t understand the equivalence being suggested here.

I don't recall any bit of RS requiring bible passages, let alone parental opinions. I'm not sure why you're doing OP the courtesy when clearly her daughter, the one who actually lives with her, feels otherwise and is acting out.

Only on MN can you get posts saying a 16 yo girl is being rude and needs to be taken down a peg, and on another thread, no 16 year old boy going the army can possibly understand what that means

Being gay isn't a choice @YankSplaining.

Nor is being a woman.

“She knows where you are going, it's weekly or monthly and has been for her entire life. Why can't you just say you are off out? She knows where you are going, what time it starts and what time it finishes because it is predictable behaviour.”

Imagine saying this to someone whose daily life has a lot to do with a different ideology – campaigning for gay rights, or feminist advocacy. “Why do you have to mention that you were at your Fawcett Society meeting? She knows where you are going, it's weekly or monthly and has been for her entire life. Why can't you just say you are off out?”

”It does appear by this constant reference to your gay rights meeting that you are indeed trying to force your gay rights ideology on your daughter.”

Sorry, promoted him. Only a bishop.

Accused of abusing a girl at Lourdes whilst on a pilgrimage. 25 yrs ago. If found guilty, another paedophile living and working amongst us with reverence for the last 25yrs... Protected.

Back to the original post and point to the thread. Well done to your daughter not having anything to do with the church.

Keeps her safe.

Will he manage to get the Archbishop of Northampton acquitted?

Another 'historic abuse' case from 25yrs ago....

This chap may need a few wonders...

She is absolutely allowed to think it is stupid. The conversation need to have is about when it is appropriate to express our opinions.

We don’t just walk up to people and tell them they are wearing an ugly shirt or they have bad taste in music.

If she wants to have religious debates with people, she needs to pick her moments and make sure her debating partner is willing to participate.

The Lord works in mysterious ways and has wonders to perform.

i would definitely have done that as a teenager. And I’m pretty sure I did.

I mocked all sorts of my parents opinions, habits and ideas. I’m a nice person now but for about 5 years I was a thoroughly unpleasant teenager. Although I redeemed myself later.

And it still doesn’t make me any less infuriated when my own teens do it to me.

I agree with those PPs who said that it's just normal teenage behaviour. She's trying to define herself as separate from you. I wouldn't take offence (God doesn't, I'm sure!).

Fair point. Apologies about mentioning the BBC and songs of praise. :)

What on earth are you talking about?? A) I explicitly said I don't respect people who believe things without evidence so respect was never on the table and B) why have you decided I was referring to all beliefs needing to be tolerated.. rather than religion? I suppose I did say I would tolerate beliefs at the end.. on my post about religion.. but why are you bringing up literal crimes? No. I don't have to tolerate crime or abuse. But outside of that, I do have to tolerate people who believe the earth is flat. Because I don't personally know it isn't, do I? We're all just believing what we've been told - I haven't done any experiments but I do accept the current consensus that the earth is round.

Are you advocating for e.g. prison time for flatearthers? Or full ostracism from society? What else are you doing with flatearthers if not tolerating them? Are you advocating for unnecessary rudeness to them? How do you respond to them?

Instead of spending time on biblical passages, just watch the news. I see the Bishop of Northampton is up for sexual abuse of children today. Another one.

How can church goers be so blind to the fact that the current generation of children and teenagers might not want anything to do with the church?? For good reason.

Google it.

@Diamond7272 I have never watched that show, no. Please don’t tell me to watch it. I don’t do BBC. We all have our beliefs!

@FriendlyMedusa I mean this with genuine curiosity, did you actually read the OP’s post? She specifically said she recommended some Bible passages for RS study. I’m going to do her the courtesy of assuming that her daughter asked for help with school work rather than assuming that she just barged in there…

There seem to be a lot of strange assumptions going on on this thread.

As I say, I can’t help noticing that Christianity attracts so much unpleasantness, both here and in real life, and other religions do not.

One person explained it to me by saying “people don’t know enough about other religions to criticise them”. It seems extremely unfair that some people get the polite treatment and others don’t, and I don’t think it’s purely for that reason.