AIBU to think some new parents are becoming overly precious ?

Nobody’s business but the parents! And it’s a cheap tit for tat to say that if you don’t get your way then you won’t be invested/interested later either.

Yes i would have trouble saying to my parents or inlaws if they overstepped but I think i was more concerned about dh keeping my inlaws informed than dh was, no issues with dh he was just a bit dazed

When i first became pregnant i didnt even think not including then in anything, they have their annoying moments like i probably do to them but it was theit grandchildren just as much as my parents

And cousins and aunts and uncles on both sides

I'll say what I always say, social media gives you unprecedented access into the lives and inner thoughts of others. We have no idea if parents are becoming precious, or whether we've always been that way inclined.
Look at pictures of royal babies in the 16th century trussed up like loo roll cover dollies - that makes modern parenting look pretty tame by comparison

Some new first time parents can get a bit precious. One ex colleague of mine knew the sex of the baby at 20 weeks but declined to tell anyone, which is fair enough.
They also didnt tell anyone that the baby had been born till it was 2 weeks old and wouldnt tell anyone the baby's name for another 2 weeks. To be brutally honest, nobody except the close family were actually arsed about the baby's gender, date of birth or name.
The parents were most put out that nobody was begging for the details 🤣🤣

Enforcing unnecessary 'boundaries' has become a shorthand for 'behaving like a twat'. They aren't needed in normal families, where grandparents and aunties are just excited and doing the very normal thing of wanting to meet the baby.
Parents dil, let's be honest forget that their baby is also part of the husband's family too.
My in-laws could be more than a bit full on and I did end up having to ask them to call first and not just pop round and spend all day in my house, but it would have been mean and cruel to not let them meet the babies when they were first born or impose a bunch of rules about not cuddling them or not buying them clothes/toys.

If new parents want to behave like this, they shouldn't then expect loads of interest and help when they decide to emerge from their 'bubble'

I get the not wanting people over too soon part but its all relative and how you are coping. I had my 3rd csection in 2.5 years in April. I was considerably sorer than before and less eager. I had one particular relative when told not to come over just yet, randomly showed up. I could barely walk and our baby was so unsettled at the time. I also felt really vulnerable and not myself. Baby blues had kicked in and just needed privacy to recover. But once I was recovered, I loved the visits

But surely that’s just having shit friends and family?! I don’t keep hold of flakey or false people in any area of my life so all the ones that were involved or actively interested in not just my life but that of my child are still as involved today, 15 years later and vice versa!

Totally agree with you.
I don't even love my MIL that much but she was round seeing baby the day we got home. It's a joyful time and I think in years to come people will regret being so precious.

I do understand some things like kissing baby (am a nurse so risk) but most of these boundaries are too much.

YANBU some people really do act like they’re the only people in the world to ever have a baby

People are really judgemental of new parents, let them find their way. They might think their expectations were completely OTT once baby has actually arrived. Roll your eyes behind their back as much as you want to but older generations probably thought similar things about something you did too.

A recent family one, all these rules in place, boundaries set...until the day of birth, everything went tits up, mum and baby emergency, then suddenly the family they were were 'keeping boundaries' with were needed. Lifts, shopping, care needed. The naivety and big ideas were shelved in place of the need for practical help. Funny that. Fortunately mum and baby now thriving.

The worst ones are those with double standards. Demanding special treatment when there's no way on earth they were doing the same for the mothers in the family/ friend group before them.

I disagree in a way because people are usually desperate to see the new baby to have a gawp and a cuddle, then don't have any interest in said child after that. If I look back at my cards I recieved after having a baby, i'd say about 4 of them have actually given a shit about my dc after they were dying to see them as newborns (and had no rules etc).

Fine for people to have boundaries if that’s what they want to do but I couldn’t wait to show my baby off and was happy for people to hold her. A friend of mine set a lot of strict rules around not seeing anyone for 2 weeks so they could be in a “newborn bubble” and didn’t want any contact and we were all a bit surprised but fine with it, it’s her choice. 2 days in we all got a message asking us to come and meet the baby 😂 which of course we happily did, armed with lots of homemade freezer meals and gifts!

It's a chat forum where people come in to have a moan about trends that annoy them. There's an undeniable trend about being very controlling about access to your baby. Even controlling access to grandparents and other immediate family

Rude, selfish attention seeking.

The thing is keeping your baby completely locked away from the world is the worst thing for them. No one should be handling a baby if they are ill for sure, but a baby coming into contact with day to day germs is how they get stronger. My babies were passed around to anyone who wanted a cuddle and went to nursery very young. They never get sick now. I know that isn’t the same for everyone but I t is super important that babies are not kept in a bubble.

All the people rushing to see a newborn then don't give two hoots about said child as they grow older (i don't mean close family/friends). It's so odd when people are so desperate to visit when the new parents are adjusting in the very early days after coming home, just let them breathe for a minute.

I think parents are absolutely free to tell their parents, in laws, family, friends etc what their ‘rules and boundaries’ are. But, they also need to accept that when they haven’t had a day to themselves in 9 years, no one will provide childcare, visits are sporadic and no one cares whether they pass their GCSEs or not, they have no one to blame but themselves.

If there is one word that can (sorry) get fucked it is boundaries.

Attention seeking nonsense!

I totally agree. Of course people can do it their way but sharing the joy of my babies was joyful. The other thread tonight with the sister not letting the cousins see the baby - I remember that day so happily.

I’ve been hearing this for at least 20 years so it can’t be new. I think it’s one of those things where people’s back get bent out of shape even though it doesn’t impact them

I firmly believe parents get to decide how to handle these things, but they’ll receive the energy back that they project.

My DD is about to give birth to our first grandchild, and if she were to implement too many rules and regulations, she wouldn’t see much of me! Fortunately she’s excited about family and close friends meeting her baby.

she does have common sense rules such as not visiting if you’re sick/sniffling and she’d prefer people who are going to be touching the baby to be vaccinated against flu, whooping cough and measles (in the US these things are on the rise unfortunately).

She doesn’t want a party in the room when she delivers the baby (not uncommon here) and I think she’s right about that. I just had my DH and I loved that time with just us and the baby, and DD/SIL should have that too if they want. We’ll get to visit the hospital when they’re ready.