AIBU to think sons discussing relationship problems with mums is different?

I don't think it's different between men and women, but I honestly can't imagine discussing my relationship with my dm.

I guess there's a difference between discussing how things are, which seems more ok, and complaining about your partner, which doesn't?

I just thing discussing relationships is more "friend or sibling" territory. No one wants romance advice from a parent, surely?

I wouldn’t confide in my mum and would be pissed if dh was his mum.

I think it comes down to if you have a bad mil anyway and then your dh is always running off telling tales the relationship between dil and mil is never going to improve. Especially if you’ve already got the type who thinks you stole her baby or that you’re the reason he doesn’t visit and that you withhold the grandbabies.

Where’s sils don’t tend to get judged as much by their mils or at least openly to their faces. They are not expected to be the ones doing well the wife work. Not often are they accused of stealing their baby girls or withholding the grandchildren and such.

It’s the inlaw dynamic that makes it a bad idea.

also not sharing at all with family is a good idea because just because you forgive your partner something doesn’t mean your family won’t hold a grudge or be forever judging them.

Can you explain why it feels different, Op?

I have young adults - boys and girls - and I am their first stop for anything they need advice about. I don't notice a difference between my sons and my daughters.

My son speaks to me about his relationships.

Like another poster, I don’t think he’s a little angel who can do no wrong and I will tell him so if necessary.

I don't see why it makes any difference at all whether it's a man or a woman talking to their mum; what does make a difference is whether the mum is a sensible person to confide in or not and whether the person wants to discuss their personal info. If the mother-in-law (or mother) is going to be an interfering so and so then confiding in them is probably a bad idea whether it's a daughte or a son.

I haven't heard that it's a bad thing? My sons can talk to me about the same things as my daughter x

I would never talk to my mother about my relationship and would absolutely hate it if my husband spoke to his mother about it.

Completely disagree, it is no different whether mum of boys or girls. I am a mum of adult boys in relationships who have always spoken to me about their relationships. In fact one girlfriend commented about it.

I think what is important though, is to be empathetic and supportive but not always take their side and not interfere overly. There are times I’ve listened but then told my son he wasn’t listening to his girlfriend or he needed to rethink his approach. Mums that can see no wrong in their little darlings even if they are being dicks are the problem mother in laws. Everyone needs an ear to listen to them at times.

Why do you think it's bad for men to talk to their mothers about relationship issues? As a mother of a son I don't agree at all?