AIBU to think sons discussing relationship problems with mums is different?

This.

I can’t think of anything worse.

I think you need to stop living your life through social media!! Don’t worry what others are doing and just concentrate or your own family. You’re getting by a very unrepresentative sample on social media, nobody posts about chatting to their mum about relationships in a happy way, or how wonder their mother/mother in law/father/father in law is on a regular basis as everything is fine and they don’t need help with it.

Social media isn’t real life, or even a representation of real life.

I think what it comes down to is the discretion of the person you are confiding in rather than if it's a son or a daughter.

I don't talk to my mum about my relationship dramas (not that it's very dramatic but still) I talk to him about it and we work it out, like grown ups.

I think depends on how the mother views things- is she able to be objective? Or is she backing up the son even if he’s in the wrong.
my MIL is able to give advice that not necessarily benefits her sons. My mother’s mother in law on the other hand was encouraging her some to be horrible to his wife. I think the issue is with the latter.

Sorry but you're being sexist. Should a man not cry? Should he not change his kid's nappies? If we believe in equality, we don't have double standards.
I would have hesitated before marrying a man who didn't have a good relationship with his mum-or if it seemed she didn't want one with me. I know that's unfair, as it wouldn't be his fault, but the saying about watch how a man treats his mum is one of the most important things. And I will warn my kids that a partner who doesn't want a close relationship with their friends/family shouldn't be long-term.
Dumped one ex because he treated his mum like a maid!

Personally I'm not sure it's that different for men and women. Maybe you see it more from women if you're mainly on women's forums like Mumsnet?

Flaming a partner for just talking to their mum sounds abusive to be honest. That said, a lot of people hate if their partner's parents become overly involved. People don't generally want to pick their kids' school or their new home based on MIL's opinion, for example.

As the relative of two men, in different generations, who took their own lives rather than speak about their troubles, I would never stop my sons speaking to me about anything.

My sons have talked to me about relationship issues. My DiL have thanked me for it. It feels 'wrong' only if you stereotype mothers of sons as automatically against their Dil.
I think its a really dangerous thing tbh to tell men they can't talk to their mothers. I've just watched a news report about the importance of men being able to talk in suicide prevention.
Don't ever push your sons away if they want to talk.

I have two young adult DC. They both talk to me about their relationships. Why would DS not talk to me? I don’t understand?

@Kippergodzillar in what way are you getting it wrong? Please give us an example.

I never discussed my relationship with mum and I would not discuss anything DSs relationship with his girlfriend either. Isn’t it going behind someone’s back? Why not talk directly to your partner? Unless you are 12 years old.

Depends on the child-parent relationship. I could never sensibly discuss my relationship with my mother. However DH has often gone to his mum for advice and she has been sensible and helpful.

Why on earth wouldn’t they? If it’s fine for daughters then it’s also fine for sons.
As long as the person is someone they trust, then young men should absolutely be able to talk through whatever they want with whoever they choose. Perhaps if men weren’t encouraged to suffer in silence rather than talk, suicide rates amongst young men might be less high

The only thing that’s making it ‘different’ to you is your own gendered ideas about men and women.

a young man speaking to his mother about his relationship problems would definitely be seen as bad

I have never heard anyone express this view.

Presumably your sons are not discussing anything with you that would scare the 🐴🐴?

I think it's a child/parent thing far more than a male/female thing. I don't have a daughter, but am happy to have relationship discussions with my son, who will talk to both his parents.

I think that at the end of the day it's more about listening than giving advice anyway.

My sons talk to me about their relationships.

I also don't take life advice from ChatGPT, and I voted YABU for that.

You're a mother, not just a mother-in-law (and given your sons are young and unmarried, do their girlfriends even consider you to be "mother-in-law"?)

It's nice of you to try and be a good mother-in-law, but that definitely shouldn't come before trying to be a good mother.

I think it's good as I can give a female point of view on why their girlfriends may act a certain way, if they ask.