Mumsnet is so eye-opening. I read so many posts on here about hurt and sadness. My heart aches and my anger rises for the many, many women who are being treated like shit by shitty men who are full of shit. But sometimes, I think it’s the family ones mostly, it seems to me that someone’s just got a bad hand. And maybe the answer is not to deny it, not to fight it with “boundaries” but in a clear-sighted way to acknowledge that though we can protect ourselves, we can’t perfect our circumstances. My mother is, by any definition, a terrible, terrible mother (not her fault - the fault of the hand she was dealt!) but I can’t put it right. I am, and always will be, damaged as a result. That’s the hand I’ve been dealt. Is there comfort to be had in that idea? It seems to bring me closer to a kind of peace than raging against it. I can’t undo it after all.