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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of school directly undermining me

235 replies

LainaDelBoy · 10/09/2026 16:42

I’m at my wits end and really need some external perspective from people outside my local school/council area. (I moved to another part of the UK to raise my children, so this is not the school system I went through myself and isn't an area where there's much school choice - if you're not happy, you pay to go private it seems).

Since starting school at five, DD has routinely used a school-issued iPad (no one told me this would happen). I gradually discovered, mainly through what she told me rather than information from the school, that she had been signed up to all sorts of platforms and apps without me knowing/us being asked to approve.

It seems she has watched YouTube during lessons (I've regularly heard they've done PE on YouTube/"music" I've learned is often a sing along Disney song with the words at the bottom? etc) and come home talking about things seen in adverts. Some of the apps have coins, rewards and "friend" features which was a lovely (!!) sudden introduction to class bullying to deal with. and she's been using AI tools on the thing, but school haven't ever told me what it is/why/and I still don’t know what that tool was.

This week, another mum has just confirmed that the school ipads DO also all have email addresses through which they could message one another (although kids like mine age 5 aren't told the passwords for a couple of years yet - thankfully apaprently).

and tonight she's just come home talking about reading a book at school, only for a few questions later for it to bcome clear that it's not a BOOK book, it's another bloody ebook they scroll through on the ipad.

Stepping back a bit: I feel as though the school and council have taken away my ability to manage how much screen time my DD gets, while telling me I have "no legal right to opt out" of so much screentime at school when I asked about toning it down last year (I didn't ask for specifics, I just asked about the messaging stuff, and how much time they were on the iPad for typically).

We game a lot as a family (consoles/etc so i'm not anti-screens generally), but i just feel like there's a constant barrage of poorly done apps, videos and AI without clear limits or safeguards in her classrom. I don't know if it's like this in all schools.

In the UK, would you consider this "normal" or acceptable? Have other parents successfully asked for reduced digital screen learning/alternatives? AIBU to keep challenging it (the council are quite adament that their policy has zero flex)?

I don't know where to go from here and i don't want to be "that parent" but there are so many red flags here but i don't know if to keep pushing on it?

OP posts:
Seashor · 10/09/2026 17:34

We use Numberblocks at school. It is actually part of the National Mastering Numbers program. We also show a CBBC story at home time to keep the children engaged as we show children out.

SevenYellowHammers · 10/09/2026 17:32

Central Bedfordshire?

Favouritefruits · 10/09/2026 17:31

I don’t think it’s right but it’s becoming normal, more and more schools are using technology in favour of old fashioned books and textbooks. By the time they reach high school it’s ridiculous how much they do online, all homework, lots of lessons on computers it’s sad how the world is changing!

Dontlletmedownbruce · 10/09/2026 17:30

I agree with you re ebooks and disagree with the idea that they are also books. They are not, yes there is also reading involved but there is reading involved in scrolling on a phone too. Even if it's good content in the ebook there is something very different about swiping and turning a page. On one hand educators harp on about sensory experiences then at the same time we take these experiences away. Reading a real book has a weight, it requires a certain posture, it requires light and varies depending on where you go, it has a smell, the pages have a texture. The words and meanings might be the same but the experience is very different. In a world where so much time is spent on screen with no sensory element, I feel it is more important than ever that children read real books or at least a combination of the two.

ThatLassFromLeeds · 10/09/2026 17:30

I don’t think this is typical at all. I wouldn’t be worried about the e-books; my kids have had those and they’re great because they’re very interactive and can check that the child has understood what they’re reading. Likewise the odd session of Numberblocks or Alphablocks on a wet day or for a few minutes from time to time - fine.

But I wouldn’t be happy about YouTube with ads, and definitely not with apps where they can “friend” and message people. And in general I don’t like them having too much screen time - certainly wouldn’t want each child to have an iPad!

Id definitely be questioning it.

Pigriver · 10/09/2026 17:30

Teacher here and I don't know any school that gives every school and iPad!

The eBooks....we are forced to use a phonics scheme (we can choose from a list) and every child needs a book matched with their phonics phase/sound they are learning. You either have them all on the same and need 30 of each book which isn't reasonable due to cost. It they are all on different and it's a minefield as they get lost, damaged it borrowed by another class never mind the time to sort and match the right book to the right child. Having them online and able to assign the right book to the right child almost instantly is amazing and will really help their reading develop quickly.

I now teach an SEN class and mine do have their own iPad but over the school day probably use it for 30 mins. 5 mins maths, use of speech to text or voice recording to record their work (some have physical disabilities) or snapping a quick pic of a practical activity they have done. They have ed shed which is an app for spelling practice. They all have different spellings so this way they can have individualised activities at the correct level.

Sqweak · 10/09/2026 17:26

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Bumbelinaaa · 10/09/2026 17:26

It might be worth bearing in mind that 5 year olds aren’t always the most reliable narrators. What may have been 5 minutes of Twinkle/Floppy’s Phonics/YouTube whilst the class transitions to lunch or another activity can easily be reported back by a 5 year old as an entire lesson. During a phonics lesson on the carpet, it’s far easier to display books on an electronic whiteboard, rather than rely on a class of 25-30 small children to look at 1 book held up by the teacher.

BrummieKara · 10/09/2026 17:23

How much screen time do you estimate at school per day? Because everything you have listed are completely normal activities in my school, the only difference is that we are returning to paper books from tablet ones this year. But we use YouTube for PE, Music and occasional downtime. However it's a handful of lessons a week, not all day everyday.

It's likely they are doing lots of paper based activities too, and your daughter is excited by the tablet so talks about that?

LoveItaly · 10/09/2026 17:19

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 10/09/2026 16:59

Not typical and incredibly poor, lazy teaching.

I would absolutely be ‘that’ parent and scrutinising everything that was happening as well as challenging the school on their methods. I’d be livid about books on an iPad rather than physical books with pages. I’d also be looking for an alternative school.

I would be looking for another school too. Not only is it lazy teaching, who knows what damage using screens at such a young age does to children’s eyes.

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 10/09/2026 17:16

There’s new legislation out for reception children that they shouldn’t have more than an hours screen time a day. So go in and question it.

Imdunfer · 10/09/2026 17:16

Tell the school to do a bit of research into why Sweden has returned schools to reading books on paper.

If she doesn't get to read books on paper, move schools.

lxn889121 · 10/09/2026 17:14

Its very sad to hear. The research on technology in the classroom is 100% clear. An increase in technology correlates to a lowering of average outcomes.

To be honest, in education research/academic circles, "An IPAD for every child!" is so 2010s... it feels dated now as an idea, because its proven time and time again to be ineffective. More and more schools, as well as nations are pushing back away from the blanket application of apps and technology in learning.

There is still a place for specialized technology classes, and digital boards, educational videos etc. But individual "learning" on devices at a young age, in class time, is ineffective teaching and nothing more.

Sqweak · 10/09/2026 17:06

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LainaDelBoy · 10/09/2026 17:00

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first year was last year, DD was 5 when she started (apparently it's a couple of years before they get the email passwords, supposedly - i've had to ask for clarification as I was worried she would be able to access it)

OP posts:
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 10/09/2026 16:59

Not typical and incredibly poor, lazy teaching.

I would absolutely be ‘that’ parent and scrutinising everything that was happening as well as challenging the school on their methods. I’d be livid about books on an iPad rather than physical books with pages. I’d also be looking for an alternative school.

EarringsandLipstick · 10/09/2026 16:59

I think your reaction is completely OTT.

it's another bloody ebook they scroll through on the ipad.
But ebooks are books. Reading them is still reading them. Yes, there's value to tangible books for reading too, but I assume she does that as well.

As long as the overall environment has plenty of active play, discussion, use of physical resources and outdoor time, as well as the online / e-resources like YouTube, e-books and similar, I don't see a problem.

I always try to focus on the purpose and learning need - screens in themselves are not 'bad', it's disproportionately spending time on the screen, at the loss of another skill or useful task, with a negative outcome, that is the issue.

Sqweak · 10/09/2026 16:58

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LainaDelBoy · 10/09/2026 16:57

Lomonald · 10/09/2026 16:45

The school will have informed you of learning tools, you can absolute withdraw your dd and put a placement request for another school, or home Ed, children using technology isn't the evil you assume educators will have all the information about screens.

We were told that in this council area kids get their own dedicated iPad from age 8 upwards.that's what the council website/enrolment information says. that's one of the reasons i was so shocked when DD came home in first year (age 5) telling me all about these coin games and asking to "friend" kids in the class with a code they have to give out.

there's a huge difference betweenw hat they say is happening vs. what seems to be happening though.

OP posts:
Cadeaukatze · 10/09/2026 16:57

Lomonald · 10/09/2026 16:45

The school will have informed you of learning tools, you can absolute withdraw your dd and put a placement request for another school, or home Ed, children using technology isn't the evil you assume educators will have all the information about screens.

I don't think that's necessarily true - teachers are busy people and don't have time to pore over research reports and new government initiatives. They just do what their SLT tells them.

And the OP has said she lives in a part of the UK (Scotland?) where you go to your nearest school and there's not a lot of choice so she can't just move schools.

Carryingitjoyfully · 10/09/2026 16:57

Oxford Reading Tree for example have books online that the child can read, or listen to and be asked recall and comprehension questions. It means that they engage more deeply with the texts than on their own on the occasions that the teacher or TA isn't reading one to one with them.

Make sure she has access to plenty of real books at home.

ToffeePennie · 10/09/2026 16:57

This happened at our school. Suddenly my year 2 was handed an iPad. Every single piece of work is done on the iPads. The whole school is in special measures for handwriting.
There is no alternative school.
That child has gone on to an amazing secondary school, where they automatically enroll kids from that primary, into a handwriting intervention.
The primary school had the gall to invite me to a “play” session where they gave a presentation about “children these days have too much screen time, averaging 5 hours a
day” but when questioned, they didn’t understand my screen time objections over their iPad use….

Supportbritishfarmers · 10/09/2026 16:56

I think its the way things are. My dc are uni age now, and even they had I Pads at primary school. I know because I was on the PTA doing the fundraising to get some. You have to get ahead, find some keeping up with the kids type resources, so you understand and can supervise home I Pad use. Ask school for an information evening explaining how, what and why they are using screens. Honestly, if you don't let them keep up they get left behind.
Emailing won't come in until later, the teachers will email or upload resources, and if they are doing their jobs properly will have spy apps installed, so they can track activity.
Edited to say, we didn't allow tech upstairs. No phones, TV, I Pads, Laptops in bedrooms, only in the family areas of the homes. Passwords were always shared.

LainaDelBoy · 10/09/2026 16:56

FunPartyIdeas · 10/09/2026 16:48

@LainaDelBoy How much screen time would you say your daughter has at home?

I've never really tried to monitor it too much, we don't have a TV in any room apart from the living room so i'd say about 30-45mins of TV at night (when she gets home from school after changing/homework but before dinner, kids cartoons which one of us watches the first half with them before heading off to make dinner next door), and then we typically have a family game on the console at least once every weekend. so we definitely have screentime daily at home, if you include TV, and once a week we do racing games etc for about an hour.

BUT we don't have the kids with smartphones, i thought that would be a battle i'd have to look forward to when they got to 10 or 11, NOT 5 and 6 😂

That's also why i haven't given them a tablet or anything - it's a battle with screentime that i just didn't want to have yet

OP posts:
Cadeaukatze · 10/09/2026 16:55

I don't think this is typical either. And with YouTube, surely they should be using a paid-for version so there are no ads? It's only about £12 a month I think? I don't see the difference between watching a YouTube video and a TV video - except for the ads. And the messaging shouldn't be switched on at all.

The one good thing OP is that the social media ban is coming in and although there will be exceptions for education (the devil will be in the detail) the local authority/schools will have to reassess what they are doing. In your shoes I would monitor the announcements from Ofcom and the government, and then contact the school/council again with concerns once we know more about what the new rules will contain (there was another announcement yesterday).