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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of school directly undermining me

235 replies

LainaDelBoy · 10/09/2026 16:42

I’m at my wits end and really need some external perspective from people outside my local school/council area. (I moved to another part of the UK to raise my children, so this is not the school system I went through myself and isn't an area where there's much school choice - if you're not happy, you pay to go private it seems).

Since starting school at five, DD has routinely used a school-issued iPad (no one told me this would happen). I gradually discovered, mainly through what she told me rather than information from the school, that she had been signed up to all sorts of platforms and apps without me knowing/us being asked to approve.

It seems she has watched YouTube during lessons (I've regularly heard they've done PE on YouTube/"music" I've learned is often a sing along Disney song with the words at the bottom? etc) and come home talking about things seen in adverts. Some of the apps have coins, rewards and "friend" features which was a lovely (!!) sudden introduction to class bullying to deal with. and she's been using AI tools on the thing, but school haven't ever told me what it is/why/and I still don’t know what that tool was.

This week, another mum has just confirmed that the school ipads DO also all have email addresses through which they could message one another (although kids like mine age 5 aren't told the passwords for a couple of years yet - thankfully apaprently).

and tonight she's just come home talking about reading a book at school, only for a few questions later for it to bcome clear that it's not a BOOK book, it's another bloody ebook they scroll through on the ipad.

Stepping back a bit: I feel as though the school and council have taken away my ability to manage how much screen time my DD gets, while telling me I have "no legal right to opt out" of so much screentime at school when I asked about toning it down last year (I didn't ask for specifics, I just asked about the messaging stuff, and how much time they were on the iPad for typically).

We game a lot as a family (consoles/etc so i'm not anti-screens generally), but i just feel like there's a constant barrage of poorly done apps, videos and AI without clear limits or safeguards in her classrom. I don't know if it's like this in all schools.

In the UK, would you consider this "normal" or acceptable? Have other parents successfully asked for reduced digital screen learning/alternatives? AIBU to keep challenging it (the council are quite adament that their policy has zero flex)?

I don't know where to go from here and i don't want to be "that parent" but there are so many red flags here but i don't know if to keep pushing on it?

OP posts:
Livelovebehappy · 10/09/2026 18:00

Sounds like you havent had a conversation with school though? Maybe just call thexl school and raise your concerns. They will then clarify stuff which may put your mind at rest. If you dont like it i guess research other schools which align with your wishes and move her. I think AI is marching at speed and everyone, children included, need to embrace it. Because the reality is everything eventually will be computer based with no need for pen, paper or physical books.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 10/09/2026 18:00

I got quite the shock when my DD started secondary school last year.

not a single textbook to cover, not one exercise book carried around in their bag.

all homework done online, including reading!

At least at primary it seems to be a mix and match of physical/ebooks.

momager22 · 10/09/2026 18:00

I would be very uncomfortable with this.
I understand that it’s probably the way things are going but they should be making an effort to make sure handwriting skills are maintained and PE lessons on iPads is crazy.
Is there a Montessori or similar nearby? Is that an option ?

dairydebris · 10/09/2026 18:00

I would hate this too.

I don't think I'd frame it as undermining you. Its not personal.

I'd choose a different school if I could. If not I'd opt them out of iPad loans / iPad homework / e books, and support their learning at home with proper books / worksheets.

Whynottryagain · 10/09/2026 17:59

Our school don't give children ipads (I avoided the school that boasted they had an iPad per child for this reason. However, in Reception I was really unhappy with the amount of TV they watched. And it wasn't alphablocks - they watched 30 mins of Disney films after lunch to "calm down" every day! Plus other stuff like Danny Go.

So far in the first week of Year 1 they've watched 30 mins of TV in total, as a treat, which I still think isn't necessary, but much better than last year. Fingers crossed.

I have no suggestions for you other than try another school, but I absolutely wouldn't be happy about it either. Good luck.

Octavia64 · 10/09/2026 17:58

Most primaries do computing lessons so there is some screen time there.

physical books are very expensive and yes many primaries now use ebooks. Homework on apps is also fairly standard - mathletics, timetables practice, etc.

Qb2654 · 10/09/2026 17:56

Ours have maths and English apps, their homework is on them too.

They tend to do a YouTube movement break for 5 minutes when the class are wriggly and they don't have access to the daily mile outside

It doesn't bother me, I'd rather they learn safe use of tech in a controlled environment than what happens to too many and they have a very naive and sudden introduction when much older.

Underchairstair · 10/09/2026 17:55

My (junior age) class never do more than an hour a day on a Chromebook, including days with computing lessons, and often do no more than 25 minutes. Many days it's nothing. Most English primaries cannot afford a device per child or even between two so they'd never be on them all day. We use proper books but these are expensive to replace when they (frequently) aren't returned to school. Teaching PE with YouTube is just rubbish unless the hall is out of action or something. MNers get het up about YouTube adverts but you just skip them and no we can't afford the subscription at £13 a month as above.

I don't, however, tell parents what apps I've 'signed their child up for' as you put it, any more than I tell them exactly what worksheet we're doing or whatever. I would tell them if they asked but I don't feel any need to inform them if we use a new website or app.

FriendlyMedusa · 10/09/2026 17:54

I would choose your battles - Reading an ebook rather than a paperback seems fine to me, for example.

AI and YouTube and social apps and all of that nonsense? I'd be very surprised if you're the only parent taking issue with this!

Mt563 · 10/09/2026 17:52

Is it worth talking to other parents and the governors? My school had tablets for every child for a while and what felt like overuse/ over reliance on them but changed when parents complained via governors (and as the tablets started breaking). They now have 2 class sets that come out occasionally.

TaptheCap · 10/09/2026 17:52

I don't like it either, but it's the way the UK is going and I'm not prepared to home school so have to put up with it!

I hope we quickly see sense and do a u turn like Sweden.

Wolfpa · 10/09/2026 17:51

Have you taken a look at the school’s digital safeguarding policy?

it doesn’t sound as if you know what APPs they are using. Can you find out first and then look into the security from there?

knowledge is power and you may find that everything is being done safely to put your mind at rest. Or you may find specific things to talk about to focus your conversation

LlynTegid · 10/09/2026 17:50

YANBU to have not had the school make it clear how they use technology in learning.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 10/09/2026 17:48

bafta16 · 10/09/2026 17:46

Why on earth do kids need to earn coins for Maths homework? Utter nonsense.

To make it a fun game, rather than a chore.
more time spent answering questions = more coins to buy your avatar a fancy little hat to wear.

makes perfect sense to me.

bafta16 · 10/09/2026 17:46

Why on earth do kids need to earn coins for Maths homework? Utter nonsense.

Morepositivemum · 10/09/2026 17:45

I’m all for kindles/ reading apps used alongside paperbacks, but only using screens seems like a huge step back! I think you’ll find the principal is a tech head, in the same way our principal is sporty so the world in our school became about sports

savoycabbage · 10/09/2026 17:45

YANBU. I do supply teaching so I can be in a year one class one day and then a different year one class the next day. Some schools use technology sensibly and sparingly and others use it all of the time. I know that if the instructions left for me say put something on the board for when they come in’ I’m in for a day of screens. Some classes can’t listen to a story from a book because they are used to everything being on a screen.

bafta16 · 10/09/2026 17:45

There is loads of research to show that reading the printed word is preferable to a screen.
Tech has its place but this school sounds ridiculous.

saraclara · 10/09/2026 17:44

I'd hate this and I'd look for another school. And I was a teacher. I also wouldn't work in a school like that.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 10/09/2026 17:44

Also, it may be worth asking her teacher directly just how much they are using tablets. Primary school children aren’t always the most reliable with their recollection of the school day! 🤣

Isittimeformynapyet · 10/09/2026 17:43

Livelaughplay · 10/09/2026 16:49

Well that seems like too much screen time to me! My DD old school was similar- constant tv, YouTube yoga, tv at end of day- why can’t they just read a book like we did at school.
it is important to have tech literacy, but I was frustrated with nursery and school when they’d already watched a good amount of tv and then I felt bad when I put it on at home! But maybe I’m unreasonable in that

With the YouTube yoga example, I think yoga is a great thing to start young, but it would cost much more to get a RL instructor in, but just watching TV's not the best way to spend your education.

Having said that, I'm too lazy to do yoga, and television taught me everything I know!*

(*slight exaggeration there)

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 10/09/2026 17:41

My child’s school didn’t have iPads for each of the children, but their maths homework was online (mathletics - you earn coins and can buy outfits for your avatar, and then TTRS.)
the e-books thing was to do with phonics, I can’t remember exactly what the website was, as this was reception - year 2.

I didn’t concern me, as it was all educational.

Perhaps see if any other schools in your area use iPads less, and can accommodate your daughter.

GoodGirlFaith · 10/09/2026 17:40

Wow. If this is true, I'm incredulous and things have obviously changed a lot in only 15 years since my dc started school.

I would not like this.

Do they read actual books at all? I mean, surely, they do?

I do not object to iPads one bit, we all need to learn how to use them this sounds way too much screen activity.

Good for you for querying this, OP.

wrongsock · 10/09/2026 17:36

I’m a primary teacher here who’s done a lot of supply teaching. This is not typical at all in primary schools. Usually they just use laptops or iPads a little bit for computing and perhaps spelling/times tables games.

Isittimeformynapyet · 10/09/2026 17:34

Shoobadadoo · 10/09/2026 16:46

No I wouldn’t like this too. My son is 5 and they mainly use whiteboards but do use iPads for numbots. I think your only option is to change schools

Do they actually use iPads, or just tablets? I guess iPad is these days what Hoover was when I was a kid...