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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of school directly undermining me

235 replies

LainaDelBoy · 10/09/2026 16:42

I’m at my wits end and really need some external perspective from people outside my local school/council area. (I moved to another part of the UK to raise my children, so this is not the school system I went through myself and isn't an area where there's much school choice - if you're not happy, you pay to go private it seems).

Since starting school at five, DD has routinely used a school-issued iPad (no one told me this would happen). I gradually discovered, mainly through what she told me rather than information from the school, that she had been signed up to all sorts of platforms and apps without me knowing/us being asked to approve.

It seems she has watched YouTube during lessons (I've regularly heard they've done PE on YouTube/"music" I've learned is often a sing along Disney song with the words at the bottom? etc) and come home talking about things seen in adverts. Some of the apps have coins, rewards and "friend" features which was a lovely (!!) sudden introduction to class bullying to deal with. and she's been using AI tools on the thing, but school haven't ever told me what it is/why/and I still don’t know what that tool was.

This week, another mum has just confirmed that the school ipads DO also all have email addresses through which they could message one another (although kids like mine age 5 aren't told the passwords for a couple of years yet - thankfully apaprently).

and tonight she's just come home talking about reading a book at school, only for a few questions later for it to bcome clear that it's not a BOOK book, it's another bloody ebook they scroll through on the ipad.

Stepping back a bit: I feel as though the school and council have taken away my ability to manage how much screen time my DD gets, while telling me I have "no legal right to opt out" of so much screentime at school when I asked about toning it down last year (I didn't ask for specifics, I just asked about the messaging stuff, and how much time they were on the iPad for typically).

We game a lot as a family (consoles/etc so i'm not anti-screens generally), but i just feel like there's a constant barrage of poorly done apps, videos and AI without clear limits or safeguards in her classrom. I don't know if it's like this in all schools.

In the UK, would you consider this "normal" or acceptable? Have other parents successfully asked for reduced digital screen learning/alternatives? AIBU to keep challenging it (the council are quite adament that their policy has zero flex)?

I don't know where to go from here and i don't want to be "that parent" but there are so many red flags here but i don't know if to keep pushing on it?

OP posts:
Delphiniumandlupins · 10/09/2026 18:57

If you have concerns surely the best thing to do would be contact the school. Ask your DD's teacher what they're using iPad for

MrsBroccolini · 10/09/2026 18:48

I’m absolutely stunned by so many replies saying this is how it is and defending it. I think some technology in schools absolutely has its place but no way in a million years would I be ok with this and it is also absolutely not the norm where I am (a zone 2 London borough). When I’ve looked round primary schools, they only use tablets for that multiplication game, and laptops are brought in in older years for specific projects. I think this is lazy, depressing and detrimental teaching, and I’m a huge proponent of technology. But there’s a lot more time for that in senior school.

GreatFall · 10/09/2026 18:47

I assume you are in Scotland. The recent PISA results show how poor education is in Scotland so sadly this doesn’t surprise me. The situation in England is very different. It’s worth being specific about where you are because education is a devolved issue.

augustuss · 10/09/2026 18:47

Babyno3xo · 10/09/2026 18:40

I think this is more common than most parents realise. I recently had a job as a TA at a ofsted rated Outstanding school nursery and was shocked at the amount of screen time the children have. They were read a few pages of a book such as the gruffalo and would then watch the episode of it or similar. Maths was watching number blocks. PE was a YouTube video where the children would crowd around the screen watching rather than moving. The TV was put on for them at lunchtime, an overstimulating show such as cocomelon. After lunch they watched Danny Go on YouTube and then at the end of the day they watched half an hour of TV while waiting for pick up time. The only time they weren’t watching screens was during child initiated play.

It was ridiculous and their behaviour was awful!

Edited

That’s depressing.

MMUmum · 10/09/2026 18:46

OnlyUsername · 10/09/2026 16:47

At our school they definitely had CBeebies on in reception sometimes (Numberblocks and Alphablocks) so I assume they've watched things since, but the first app login they're doing as far as I know is this week, when he has entered year 3. I'm pretty sure they've not used YouTube and there's definitely been no messaging function on an iPad. Do you know any parents of other schools in the area? Just wondering if there is a school locally using them less if that's what you want. They're not going to give your child alone an alternative so you're not going to get anywhere with that avenue.

Edited

My Dd was brought up on CBeebies, we watched it together and interacted with the characters and activities, it helped me to teach her all sorts of stuff. I'm sure your DD will be having the same experience at school, hopefully all her screen use will be supervised and age appropriate

Acandidateforwax · 10/09/2026 18:43

LainaDelBoy · 10/09/2026 16:42

I’m at my wits end and really need some external perspective from people outside my local school/council area. (I moved to another part of the UK to raise my children, so this is not the school system I went through myself and isn't an area where there's much school choice - if you're not happy, you pay to go private it seems).

Since starting school at five, DD has routinely used a school-issued iPad (no one told me this would happen). I gradually discovered, mainly through what she told me rather than information from the school, that she had been signed up to all sorts of platforms and apps without me knowing/us being asked to approve.

It seems she has watched YouTube during lessons (I've regularly heard they've done PE on YouTube/"music" I've learned is often a sing along Disney song with the words at the bottom? etc) and come home talking about things seen in adverts. Some of the apps have coins, rewards and "friend" features which was a lovely (!!) sudden introduction to class bullying to deal with. and she's been using AI tools on the thing, but school haven't ever told me what it is/why/and I still don’t know what that tool was.

This week, another mum has just confirmed that the school ipads DO also all have email addresses through which they could message one another (although kids like mine age 5 aren't told the passwords for a couple of years yet - thankfully apaprently).

and tonight she's just come home talking about reading a book at school, only for a few questions later for it to bcome clear that it's not a BOOK book, it's another bloody ebook they scroll through on the ipad.

Stepping back a bit: I feel as though the school and council have taken away my ability to manage how much screen time my DD gets, while telling me I have "no legal right to opt out" of so much screentime at school when I asked about toning it down last year (I didn't ask for specifics, I just asked about the messaging stuff, and how much time they were on the iPad for typically).

We game a lot as a family (consoles/etc so i'm not anti-screens generally), but i just feel like there's a constant barrage of poorly done apps, videos and AI without clear limits or safeguards in her classrom. I don't know if it's like this in all schools.

In the UK, would you consider this "normal" or acceptable? Have other parents successfully asked for reduced digital screen learning/alternatives? AIBU to keep challenging it (the council are quite adament that their policy has zero flex)?

I don't know where to go from here and i don't want to be "that parent" but there are so many red flags here but i don't know if to keep pushing on it?

What country are you in?

augustuss · 10/09/2026 18:42

It’s not normal where I am. Our children have Chromebooks at school but they use them for computing lessons only and when getting ready for on screen test like the year 4 multiplication test.

Id be very frustrated with that. School should be full of books - no ebooks should be needed, especially at her age!
There’s plenty of research as to why ebooks are not as good as books and why too much screen time is not good for children’s development.

Id probably try to involve my MP? Local paper?

AnonSugar · 10/09/2026 18:42

I think you’re being a bit OTT.

The maths sounds like Sumdog or similar. It has loads of interactive math games and the teacher can set challenges. They can add friends so they can see the leaderboard. It’s not a messaging service.

You haven’t answered how much screen time she actually has a school. I’m thinking 10 mins here or there.

Babyno3xo · 10/09/2026 18:40

I think this is more common than most parents realise. I recently had a job as a TA at a ofsted rated Outstanding school nursery and was shocked at the amount of screen time the children have. They were read a few pages of a book such as the gruffalo and would then watch the episode of it or similar. Maths was watching number blocks. PE was a YouTube video where the children would crowd around the screen watching rather than moving. The TV was put on for them at lunchtime, an overstimulating show such as cocomelon. After lunch they watched Danny Go on YouTube and then at the end of the day they watched half an hour of TV while waiting for pick up time. The only time they weren’t watching screens was during child initiated play.

It was ridiculous and their behaviour was awful!

JustSawJohnny · 10/09/2026 18:39

Sorry OP but you simply do not have the right to control how information is shared with children or to hold back the use of technologies in the classroom.

It has been routine for pads to be used in primary for over a decade and it won't be changing.

Private schools have more tablets and laptops for pupil use than state schools so if you want complete control over your child's use of technologi4es you will need to home school AND avoid the vast majority of quality homeschooling materials as they are all online!

I think you need to chill a bit, in honesty.

There are LOTS of great educational apps which pose zero threat to kids. I regularly used Youtube videos in my teaching and that was a long time ago.

I'm afraid when kids go to school you do lose lots of control as a parent.

Probably best to make your peace with it an assume the educators know better when it comes to learning.

NotAtMyAge · 10/09/2026 18:37

bafta16 · 10/09/2026 17:45

There is loads of research to show that reading the printed word is preferable to a screen.
Tech has its place but this school sounds ridiculous.

Indeed and that is from primary level to university.

nighttimemusings · 10/09/2026 18:35

Not typical ime. The occasional YouTube singalong at the end of a term or a rainy playtime, a settle down after lunch numberblock for Reception whilst they have a drink and take off coats and some tt rockstars all fine - that amounts to very little screen time in a day and I wouldn’t be happy either.

UnbeatenMum · 10/09/2026 18:32

No this isn't normal. Y2 DS's Infant School rarely uses their iPads, he hasn't touched one yet this term. They do use an interactive whiteboard and sometimes use YouTube dance videos as movement breaks but not as PE. Books are paper. They occasionally watch an age appropriate cartoon if it's raining at lunch.

Santasbigredbobblehat · 10/09/2026 18:23

I teach Reception and don’t do this. I only send home photocopied phonic books. We don’t watch anything and the only time I have the screen on is for slides in maths, and if I’ve got a physical resource, I’ll use that instead. I can’t stand YouTube nursery rhymes, so lazy. It’s my job to model how to learn without tech and only use it when it genuinely enhances the children’s’ learning.

HelloDolly80 · 10/09/2026 18:21

No devices are allowed at all in our Year R classroom, apart from the whiteboard . It’s all songs, toys, free flow. Occasional Number Jack type of thing on the board. Year 1- Year 3 are very similar but some start to use laptops for touch-typing where there is a need. Our Year 7s all get a Chromebook and type most of their longer pieces of writing. Things like YouTube are not allowed.

Fatiguedwithlife · 10/09/2026 18:20

My DD is in Y6 at a c of E school, they don’t use iPads or laptops unless it’s in ICT lessons

sittingonabeach · 10/09/2026 18:17

Many schools have to use ebooks as cheaper than actual books, can't get destroyed, lost etc

DeftGoldHedgehog · 10/09/2026 18:16

ChalkOutlines · 10/09/2026 18:11

School can’t preach to parents about screen free childhoods and limiting screen time and all the adverse effects of it, while at the same time excessively using screens because it’s easier and cheaper.

Show quote history

This. I wouldn't go in "all guns blazing" but would find out exactly what they are doing on screens, for how long, and what their policies are, how locked down they are etc. See if other parents have concerns also, and raise any concerns with the school/governors.

BronzedSun · 10/09/2026 18:15

Our school is very anti screen time and our head is very vocal about it too, so DS has yet to have any screen time in any form at school.

Taytoface · 10/09/2026 18:14

primary school children should absolutely not have the ability to message each other. We had an incident where one of the apps in school allowed kids to message eachother. One kid, using another child's login (it was a laptop and was left logged in)b sent some really vile messages to other children.

They should not be exposed to advertising.

But educational apps are really helpful if used well. In my view constructive, interactive, educational screen time is very different from mindless scrolling and algorithm driven provision of content. But you are right to ask the question

ChalkOutlines · 10/09/2026 18:11

itsgettingweird · 10/09/2026 18:08

Thing is. often if you have to give 30 children a piece of paper or some paper to work from it’s the paper and printing costs. Then cost of glue and books to stick work in.

It’s a valid way of working but if they can get the same form an app and the teacher gets the data straightaway to tell them what to work on and what’s achieved I think it’s a valuable tool.

I doubt it’s all day everyday on iPads. I wouldn’t be happy if it was.

But I do think they have a place and will have a place in education moving forward.

PE will be a song they have to copy actions to. That’s will be a target. As long as it’s alongside actual ball skills etc (which can’t be done on an iPad) again I wouldn’t have a problem.

again reading a book - if they are reading I wouldn’t care if it’s an actual book or e book. I expect cost again comes into it.

School should have a policy on computer use though that they adhering too.

School can’t preach to parents about screen free childhoods and limiting screen time and all the adverse effects of it, while at the same time excessively using screens because it’s easier and cheaper.

itsgettingweird · 10/09/2026 18:08

Thing is. often if you have to give 30 children a piece of paper or some paper to work from it’s the paper and printing costs. Then cost of glue and books to stick work in.

It’s a valid way of working but if they can get the same form an app and the teacher gets the data straightaway to tell them what to work on and what’s achieved I think it’s a valuable tool.

I doubt it’s all day everyday on iPads. I wouldn’t be happy if it was.

But I do think they have a place and will have a place in education moving forward.

PE will be a song they have to copy actions to. That’s will be a target. As long as it’s alongside actual ball skills etc (which can’t be done on an iPad) again I wouldn’t have a problem.

again reading a book - if they are reading I wouldn’t care if it’s an actual book or e book. I expect cost again comes into it.

School should have a policy on computer use though that they adhering too.

Sweetbeansandmochi · 10/09/2026 18:03

I agree with you op. I even think that having interactive whiteboards and children looking at them all day is bad for their health. (Teacher for 25 years) but I don’t know if we are going to stop this truck for all sorts of resource reasons.

RancidRuby · 10/09/2026 18:02

bafta16 · 10/09/2026 17:45

There is loads of research to show that reading the printed word is preferable to a screen.
Tech has its place but this school sounds ridiculous.

I’d be interested to see that if you have a link?

BerryTwister · 10/09/2026 18:01

It certainly wasn’t like that when my kids were at the local primary school 10 years ago, and from what I know of the head teacher, I doubt it’s like that now. Yes they did some things on screens - I remember a times tables practice app - but that was the exception.

All that screen time at school is terrible for their eyes. I remember my optician telling me that kids were suffering more visual problems than they side to, due to being close to screens so much. And these problems are permanent.

I’d be looking at other schools.