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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of school directly undermining me

235 replies

LainaDelBoy · 10/09/2026 16:42

I’m at my wits end and really need some external perspective from people outside my local school/council area. (I moved to another part of the UK to raise my children, so this is not the school system I went through myself and isn't an area where there's much school choice - if you're not happy, you pay to go private it seems).

Since starting school at five, DD has routinely used a school-issued iPad (no one told me this would happen). I gradually discovered, mainly through what she told me rather than information from the school, that she had been signed up to all sorts of platforms and apps without me knowing/us being asked to approve.

It seems she has watched YouTube during lessons (I've regularly heard they've done PE on YouTube/"music" I've learned is often a sing along Disney song with the words at the bottom? etc) and come home talking about things seen in adverts. Some of the apps have coins, rewards and "friend" features which was a lovely (!!) sudden introduction to class bullying to deal with. and she's been using AI tools on the thing, but school haven't ever told me what it is/why/and I still don’t know what that tool was.

This week, another mum has just confirmed that the school ipads DO also all have email addresses through which they could message one another (although kids like mine age 5 aren't told the passwords for a couple of years yet - thankfully apaprently).

and tonight she's just come home talking about reading a book at school, only for a few questions later for it to bcome clear that it's not a BOOK book, it's another bloody ebook they scroll through on the ipad.

Stepping back a bit: I feel as though the school and council have taken away my ability to manage how much screen time my DD gets, while telling me I have "no legal right to opt out" of so much screentime at school when I asked about toning it down last year (I didn't ask for specifics, I just asked about the messaging stuff, and how much time they were on the iPad for typically).

We game a lot as a family (consoles/etc so i'm not anti-screens generally), but i just feel like there's a constant barrage of poorly done apps, videos and AI without clear limits or safeguards in her classrom. I don't know if it's like this in all schools.

In the UK, would you consider this "normal" or acceptable? Have other parents successfully asked for reduced digital screen learning/alternatives? AIBU to keep challenging it (the council are quite adament that their policy has zero flex)?

I don't know where to go from here and i don't want to be "that parent" but there are so many red flags here but i don't know if to keep pushing on it?

OP posts:
Laurmolonlabe · 11/09/2026 10:38

This is obviously the way school manage the lack of resources and teachers these days- and this shows up in a huge surge in homeschooling (which is still all internet based though-so I'm told.

C8H10N4O2 · 11/09/2026 10:34

This reply has been withdrawn

Post withdrawn at author's request

C8H10N4O2 · 11/09/2026 10:33

NameChangeScot · 10/09/2026 20:39

I could tell you're in Scotland. We don't have reception, governors, ehcp, etc here it's a completely different education system!

My children have each had a school issued iPad from p5, they're now S1 and S5. I actually really like it, each child gets the same, don't need to worry about paying for the device, repairs, uogrades or compatability issues. They are completely locked down and can only access the council approved education apps. YouTube isn't available on ours at all. Makes homework easier too as it's all in one place and get lost!

Glow is the how every child logs into the system, they will have had a glow account from the day you registered them in school.

I'm not sure why the school would ask you for approval to use apps, it's such a routine part of education now, they school will only use the approved apps too. Things like Sumdog, Reading Eggs.

The apps with making friends, they won't be able just to friend any random person, it will be children in their class and they'll be playing educational games. Hence why they need the code to access it.

There was a backlash against the ebooks for reading at our primary school. But the.head teacher explained that paper books were getting destroyed or never returned and at £600 for just one class set of books, and they need several books at each level reading level the school just couldn't afford enough books to go around so the solution was to switch to ebooks. They still get to visit the library and choose their own personal reading books. The PTA offered to fund raise but it didn't make a dent in what was needed.

I have found it's very teacher dependant too, some use them a lot verging on reliance and some hardly use them at all. You're not going to win this battle, that ship has sailed a long time ago! Your choices are change schools with a placing request (but it might not be any different elsewhere) , go private or home school. You don't get to control this.

The OP is describing a rather different experience though - her daughter is watching YouTube with adverts in the classroom. Many other parents are describing over use of videos instead of PE, story time etc.

The mass provision of ipads and “gamification” of learning in Scotland has not correlated with educational improvements, quite the opposite. There is next to no research showing genuine educational benefit to children, especially disadvantaged children of over use of technology at an early age. Its always the disadvantaged children who suffer worst in these experiments - MC parents either go private or make sure the children get plenty of traditional learning practice at home.

A number of decades ago a large publishing company made a fortune flogging the “Look and Say” reading method and making it the default in US schools with some very dodgy research behind it. A generation of children suffered badly in reading acquisition, especially disadvantaged chilcdren. Publishing companies were flogging “gamified” learning apps to schools 10-15 years ago - again with no real research behind them but a lot of money to be made and large marketing budgets.

Pretty much every country conducting large scale experiments on this are has stepped back and reduced tech in schools for early years - not just because the very expensive kit and app licences don’t improve outcomes but because outcomes worsened. Disadvantaged children doing worst of all - just as with the old Look and Say failures.

There is a place for technology in schools but it should only be where there is solid, independent evidence to support it rather than marketing from publishing firms.

Bushmillsbabe · 11/09/2026 10:33

I am with you OP. DD's are in year 3 and 6,and they have 1 lesson of screen time a fortnight, which is a specific IT lesson with laptop where they do typing, drawing, basic programming 'beebots'. The school did trial sending home ebook links for a year after books kept going missing, but decided after a year that was slowing progress, so reverted to paper books with a £5 fine if lose them - miraculously only 4 books were lost after they brought this in, vs dozens before.

If it's wet PE, they might do something like 'cosmic yoga' projected onto a big screen in the hall, and a movie on last day of term, but as far as I know, that's it for screen time.

Sartre · 11/09/2026 10:31

I’ve never personally come across this. My older DC attended two different primaries because we moved towns and now my younger DC go to a different one so have experience of 3 schools. They have a limited number of iPads / laptops which they bring out once in a while for IT lessons but that’s it. Pen and paper and actual books are used. In reception they put Numberblocks or alphablocks on as a treat sometimes.

WeaponsOfNaffDestruction · 11/09/2026 10:26

AuntieBiotics · 11/09/2026 08:57

In the case of Glasgow city council, to the detriment of staffing (teachers and support staff) and other classroom resources.

Yep, same in Borders. Huge amounts of resources (millions and millions of pounds) leeched by big tech whilst schools
cant buy the basics and learning support staff are cut, small rural nurseries are being mothballed etc etc. It’s a scandal.

Asmallburp · 11/09/2026 10:11

BrummieKara · 11/09/2026 09:03

As I said above, in our school PE is lesson planned by senior leaders, I don't have the flexibility to deviate from it. It's not uncommon in some schools (particularly chains) for that to be the case for certain topics.

So to be clear… it’s not the curriculum
it is a crappy school

Cadeaukatze · 11/09/2026 09:28

Hi OP, I came across this press release this morning which may help with your research: https://committees.parliament.uk/committee/203/education-committee/news/217822/social-media-ban-committee-publishes-government-response-to-report-on-childrens-screentime/ (from this week so very new)

MotherJessAndKittens · 11/09/2026 09:08

Mine had an iPad from January in P1 but mostly maths games. Homework has always been reading (actual book) and spelling with sentences with the word in the sentence in an actual homework book.

BrummieKara · 11/09/2026 09:03

Asmallburp · 11/09/2026 08:43

@BrummieKara are you telling us with a straight faced that the curriculum stipulates you have to use YouTube in PE?

As I said above, in our school PE is lesson planned by senior leaders, I don't have the flexibility to deviate from it. It's not uncommon in some schools (particularly chains) for that to be the case for certain topics.

SevenYellowHammers · 11/09/2026 08:58

Labraradabrador · 10/09/2026 22:32

Our private primary is very much moving away from screens in the classroom- they are only used in a very limited, very intentional way (computing lessons mainly). I expect this will become a bit of a divide between state and private - lessons on iPads are much more cheaply delivered, though growing evidence that analog learning is better for children’s development.

Very interesting. So like music lessons and the arts, our kids in state schools get the cheap way

AuntieBiotics · 11/09/2026 08:57

OhhhChihuahua · 11/09/2026 08:24

How is school affording all these ipads?!

In the case of Glasgow city council, to the detriment of staffing (teachers and support staff) and other classroom resources.

SevenYellowHammers · 11/09/2026 08:55

Asmallburp · 11/09/2026 08:43

@BrummieKara are you telling us with a straight faced that the curriculum stipulates you have to use YouTube in PE?

Trust me, it’s used all the time. Did you see some low life teacher got sacked the other day because he left his search history on whilst looking for a clip projected in front of a load of kids. Oh yes!

SevenYellowHammers · 11/09/2026 08:52

I worry about how schools just threw in iPads or chrome books with what felt like little thought. Of course I don’t stand in way of technology but as we know, it can go faster than our ability to get our heads round it. All that fuss about mobile phones and then we hand them an internet enabled device and an email login and let them get on with it. Course they are all communicating like mad across schools. Yes tech support can see their emails but I was in a school of 1200 kids, you couldn’t monitor them all. We got Pinterest enabled for them “to look at design ideas” for their “research and product planning “ Same with YouTube… and guess what, they use them as social media, in the classroom. Head teachers can be so gullible.

Asmallburp · 11/09/2026 08:43

BrummieKara · 10/09/2026 21:47

I don't personally design the curriculum!

@BrummieKara are you telling us with a straight faced that the curriculum stipulates you have to use YouTube in PE?

Asmallburp · 11/09/2026 08:41

There are many reasons that I’m glad I don’t live in Scotland

and this has just been added to this list

OhhhChihuahua · 11/09/2026 08:24

How is school affording all these ipads?!

AgnesMcDoo · 11/09/2026 08:22

All schools in my area have iPads and all kids are issued with their own from P7 onwards

Bunnycat101 · 11/09/2026 08:13

YouTube for PE is dreadful. There is also emerging evidence that children need a certain amount of time outside to protect their eyes from short/sightedness. It should be at least 2 hours a day. Screens instead of sport outside is a terrible idea.

savoycabbage · 11/09/2026 08:04

Walklightly · 10/09/2026 22:53

Why not cut out the gaming and then the screenntime will reduce?

Cutting out a family game once a weekend won't make that much difference.

Pigriver · 10/09/2026 23:12

Bookbears · 10/09/2026 19:50

Sorry but I think the book thing is awful! My son’s school is a tiny village school but can still find 30 physical books of the same reading level to hand out to the children. Does your school not have a library?

We do have a library but it's tiny. It's not just having the books at the correct band it's a book covering the new phonics sound. There is I've for each of the 44 phonemes which needs to be read in the correct order as they are progressive. So 30x44 books and that's just for phonics. We are in a very deprived area and books often don't come back when sent home. We don't have a PTA fundraising for books and we spend most of our money of staff.
At my own children's school they have an amazing library (paid for by the PTA and constant requests for donations) ironically my kids use more tech than my school (because we can't afford the tech either. We have one class set of iPads for the whole school to share)

Sdevo · 10/09/2026 23:09

I have a child who just started year 1 and would be horrified at what you’re describing.
my kid attends a state UK primary and screen use in the early years is pretty minimal.
dont put up with it, there is mounting evidence that learning outcomes are worse when screens are a main teaching tool.

PandaBear12345 · 10/09/2026 23:09

My DD has just finished Y1 and in both reception and Y1 they seemed to watch a LOT of TV and YouTube (including things like Danny Go). I was really surprised as we’re always reading about how the curriculum is too full to fit everything in!

DrBlackbird · 10/09/2026 22:58

Lomonald · 10/09/2026 16:45

The school will have informed you of learning tools, you can absolute withdraw your dd and put a placement request for another school, or home Ed, children using technology isn't the evil you assume educators will have all the information about screens.

You are joking, right? I can guarantee you that educators have very little understanding of data privacy or terms and conditions of the apps they’re signing children up to or what data those apps are now collecting and monetising from each child or how exposure to online content influences the development of young brains. One primary school in the UK thought it was a good idea to introduce facial recognition technology for school lunches fgs.

None of this is good for our children and all about making teaching more convenient. Granted this is against a backdrop of reduced budgets and greater classroom size so I understand why teachers reach for these shortcuts. However , there is a huge body of research identifying the harmful effects of ‘education’ technology (mis)sold to poorly or misinformation academies or LAs.

@LainaDelBoy I’d be equally furious and upset if my DCs school had done this.

Walklightly · 10/09/2026 22:53

Why not cut out the gaming and then the screenntime will reduce?