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Original poster

Licking dinner plates

189 replies

Endlessblueskieswhatsnottolove · 10/09/2026 14:03

Recently my 8 year old has started licking her dinner plate when she's finished. Whilst I appreciate it when she says it's because it was delicious, I've told her not to do it as it's yucky and bad manners.
Dh thinks I'm being harsh on her for getting cross with her

Aibu to not want my child to think it's ok to lick plates after finishing their food?!

OP posts:
Isittimeformynapyet · 10/09/2026 16:08

Bez72 · 10/09/2026 14:36

Jump up and get the plate off her? Way to traumatise the poor girl...

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You're playing fast and loose with the word traumatise there @Bez72

I think you were being mildly ironic, but you never know these days!

Hollowvoice · 10/09/2026 16:07

malloryknox123 · 10/09/2026 15:47

You’re right to teach her not to do that, it’s bad manners and she will be judged harshly if she does this in public.

it’s not okay even in the privacy of her home.

I was very firmly taught not to dip bread in soup and taught my DS the same, only for his very uncouth aunt to loudly remonstrate with me and call me a snob for stopping him from doing it at a wedding.

You can't dip bread in soup?!

hooyah · 10/09/2026 16:03

Grim. I would be shocked if I had another child over for dinner and they did this and yes, I would judge the parents.

Original poster
Endlessblueskieswhatsnottolove · 10/09/2026 16:01

malloryknox123 · 10/09/2026 15:47

You’re right to teach her not to do that, it’s bad manners and she will be judged harshly if she does this in public.

it’s not okay even in the privacy of her home.

I was very firmly taught not to dip bread in soup and taught my DS the same, only for his very uncouth aunt to loudly remonstrate with me and call me a snob for stopping him from doing it at a wedding.

Oh I dip bread in soup-lovely!

I draw the line at licking plates though!

OP posts:
Isittimeformynapyet · 10/09/2026 16:00

allthiscarryon · 10/09/2026 14:16

Basic fucking manners! Wait til she does it at school or at a friends or at a restaurant and then tell her?

I did it at infant school and had to sit on the dining room floor with my legs crossed and my hands on my head for the rest of the lunch break.

My very relaxed mum had chosen to turn a blind eye to it at home and I genuinely didn't know it was unacceptable 🫣

SmokyMountainRain · 10/09/2026 15:48

Our dogs would be very disappointed as that is their job in our house. 😉

malloryknox123 · 10/09/2026 15:47

You’re right to teach her not to do that, it’s bad manners and she will be judged harshly if she does this in public.

it’s not okay even in the privacy of her home.

I was very firmly taught not to dip bread in soup and taught my DS the same, only for his very uncouth aunt to loudly remonstrate with me and call me a snob for stopping him from doing it at a wedding.

Illegally18 · 10/09/2026 15:45

NeckMuscle · 10/09/2026 15:15

I have never felt the urge to lick my plate in my life? Is it even enjoyable?!

Actually yes, when the stuff you're licking is really, really good, and too good to waste. Only in the privacy of my home, though.

imanastronaut · 10/09/2026 15:38

My dad does this. I really don’t see the big deal. He only does it at home/within other family member’s house

My mum prefers a slice of cheap white bread to soak up the rest of the gravy.

LilacBalloons · 10/09/2026 15:37

Rightly or wrongly if she does this in public she will be judged as having the table manners of a chimpanzee, so unless your husband is trying to set her up for people reacting to her with revulsion and condemnation, better to knock it on the head now.

seahorsessky · 10/09/2026 15:36

You could say she needs to ask first or only do it with you, if you're concerned about her doing it out? Not a bad thing really, as learning that certain behaviour is ok sometimes/with certain people, and wrong other times, is important.

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 10/09/2026 15:33

Bez72 · 10/09/2026 14:30

But WHY is it gross?

At 8 she's old enough to understand there's different rules at home from when you're out and assuming you make sure she knows it's a 'with family at home' only thing, what is the issue?

I understand what you're saying but I think a lot of people would find it quite unpleasant to have to watch others in their family licking plates. There's a reason we don't do it anywhere else, and that reason is that most people would think 'Ewww' - in the same way they'd think 'Ewww' about someone eating a roast dinner with their fingers or chewing with their mouth open. It's just the sort of thing that, for a lot of people, will trigger a natural disgust response, even in the home. It's not a logical thing, it's more visceral. So for that reason I would say that it's perfectly reasonable to tell a child they can't do it at home, out of consideration for the rest of the family (or in this case, the OP, as her DH doesn't mind apparently).

Holeymoley28 · 10/09/2026 15:33

I have never understood licking plates and thankfully I’ve never seen someone do it in real life.

If the gravy is that good go get some bread. Don’t become a slobbering animal.

DreamyRedNewt · 10/09/2026 15:31

Bez72 · 10/09/2026 14:16

Yes, what exactly is the issue with doing this in your own home?

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I kind of agree with this, as long as she knows this is something you do just at home, not to be done at restaurants/other people's houses and I am pretty sure she does know this at her age. My daughter behaves very differently at home comapred to say a restaurant. But I think bread is better than licking anyway!

2Rebecca · 10/09/2026 15:31

Yuk

godmum56 · 10/09/2026 15:30

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 10/09/2026 15:26

We have dispensed with a table altogether and regard cutlery as 'a bit sissy'. We just squat on the floor or kneel down, lapping the food from a communal trough.

Some may think it a bit primative, but to us it's a nod to the past when our predecessors lived in caves. It works well at home but we are no longer welcome at any Toby Carvery. 😦

but you'd fit right in at Spoons?

godmum56 · 10/09/2026 15:30

Millytante · 10/09/2026 15:25

But ARE manners (of all kinds) at home so different from those adhered to elsewhere?
If there is a clear contrast, it must be very hard to inculcate manners at all.
Parents teach by example, and basic table manners aren't a burden at home, surely.

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From a child, I have known at home manners and "restaurant manners" Its not unlike teaching children different (actually extra) manners when there are visitors.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 10/09/2026 15:26

We have dispensed with a table altogether and regard cutlery as 'a bit sissy'. We just squat on the floor or kneel down, lapping the food from a communal trough.

Some may think it a bit primative, but to us it's a nod to the past when our predecessors lived in caves. It works well at home but we are no longer welcome at any Toby Carvery. 😦

godmum56 · 10/09/2026 15:26

NeckMuscle · 10/09/2026 15:15

I have never felt the urge to lick my plate in my life? Is it even enjoyable?!

ooooo yes.

Millytante · 10/09/2026 15:25

Bez72 · 10/09/2026 14:30

But WHY is it gross?

At 8 she's old enough to understand there's different rules at home from when you're out and assuming you make sure she knows it's a 'with family at home' only thing, what is the issue?

But ARE manners (of all kinds) at home so different from those adhered to elsewhere?
If there is a clear contrast, it must be very hard to inculcate manners at all.
Parents teach by example, and basic table manners aren't a burden at home, surely.

PrettyLittleRose · 10/09/2026 15:24

Bez72 · 10/09/2026 14:36

Jump up and get the plate off her? Way to traumatise the poor girl...

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😂 Just when I thought I'd seen it all on here!

Traumuatising?! For an 8 year old to have her mum take her plate off her when she starts licking it?!

Behave!

Millytante · 10/09/2026 15:21

Bez72 · 10/09/2026 14:36

Jump up and get the plate off her? Way to traumatise the poor girl...

Show quote history

For God’s sake. ‘Trauma’, indeed 🙄

FriendlyMedusa · 10/09/2026 15:18

I'd tell her it's fine at home, but not in other company. I don't really see the harm in showing her appreciation.

But then, my mother grew up in a famine, and she used to proudly lick her plate after dinner and tell us how grateful she was to have food, so I've always seen it as quite wholesome.

PrettyLittleRose · 10/09/2026 15:16

Endlessblueskieswhatsnottolove · 10/09/2026 14:03

Recently my 8 year old has started licking her dinner plate when she's finished. Whilst I appreciate it when she says it's because it was delicious, I've told her not to do it as it's yucky and bad manners.
Dh thinks I'm being harsh on her for getting cross with her

Aibu to not want my child to think it's ok to lick plates after finishing their food?!

YANBU, it's gross, and horrible bad manners. Tell her to stop. Ewwww. 😖

NeckMuscle · 10/09/2026 15:15

I have never felt the urge to lick my plate in my life? Is it even enjoyable?!

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