To not pay towards her rent?

So to come up with ideas to stop the guilt i re-read your post and realised you have multiple ways to look at it.

The daughter absolutely shouldn't be asked to fund the 4 way payment: It is deeply unfair and manipulative to ask the child (who was already removed from mothers care) to fund her mother’s rent while she is in prison. By refusing to participate, you protect the daughter from financial exploitation. This is the massive red flag for me, the sister is selfish and has no thought if consequencesfor anyone other than herself.

The flat is already lost: Her actions got her where she is, not amything you did. There is no guilt. Yoy've already touched on the pitfalls of a 4 way multi-month financial chain thats only as strong as its weakest link. Youre not saving a flat; you are just delaying the eviction at your own expense.

Propping up a flat doesn't cure her addiction: Having a flat waiting for her will not keep her clean. She was kicked out of rehab for using; the root issue is her addiction, not her housing status.

So when the guilt comes in, STOP ✋️(even say it out loud, its stronger in voice), theres no guilt.

If anything you can say you'll put some funds in her prison account for essentials, treats and niceties, you can also offer help you look for temporary housing or support services when her release date is near, thats supporting her.

Paying the rent isnt.

I don't think you should pay - ultimately, as PPs have said, you're enabling her. I think you need to say no, very firmly but very kindly. "I'm sorry, Sis, I wish things were different, but this is how it is. I will still be coming to visit you whenever you ask, and will help you in any other way I can. But the answer is no, and will stay no."

I don’t think this is a sustainable situation OP, and for all the reasons you and other posters have mentioned. I don’t hold with the posters who are saying walk away - she’s your sister and that would be very difficult. But you can’t set yourself on fire to keep your sister warm, and that’s what this amounts to. She’ll lose her flat and life will be difficult for a while when she comes out of prison, but maybe it’s a lesson she needs to learn. Sorry you’re in this position, it must be so stressful.

OP there is resettlement support from custody she might be eligible for an approved premises (like a hostel) or CAS3 accommodation which will be a flat or room in a shared house with other women these are both 3 month placements and it will depend on her risks as to which she is eligible for. She will also have a duty to refer done before she is released to the local authority she has a local connection to. She will also be referred to housing support services to find move on accommodation during those twelve weeks. This can be supported living if she meets the threshold if not it will likely be a rent deposit scheme and benefit claim to cover the ongoing rent in a private rental, this may be an HMO.

Given the problem with drugs in prisons she almost certainly won't be clean when she comes out, but I can't understand why you'd think the 4 way split in funding her is the issue here

If it wasn't this it would be something else, and there's no point helping until she herself is ready to make changes - which clearly hasn't happened yet

I would be more inclined to help her with a deposit if she comes out of prison clean than to desperately cling to an empty flat.

Say no, accept being the bad guy otherwise you agreeing to help will be used to put pressure on the others and it sounds like they can’t afford it.
” Bugonarug is helping why can’t you?”
if you have money to spare and want to help anyone in this situation help her children, they were/ are suffering for her addiction issues and definitely through no fault of their own.

I'd walk away.

Sometimes it's the end of the line. Prison 8 months is that time.

They will allow her to get into arrears, realistically she will be out of prison before they can actually evict her.

I don’t know how to answer here. I totally see that the money might all end up being wasted -it’s so easy for one person out of four to miss a payment - but I think she does need support.
And oh if only beating addiction were as easy as bucking your ideas up, as some people on here seem to think!

Don't pay and cut her off completely. Why would you want someone like that around? If she wasn't your sister, would you really have a criminal drug addicted neglectful mother in your life?

I think relying on four different people for 8 months isn't realistic. If her rent is £1000 pcm it's asking each person to find an extra £250 a month, if it's £500 it's still £125. You say her boyfriend is on a low income and I'm guessing her daughter is a young adult so will be tight on money too. I honestly can't see everyone agreeing or if they do being able to sustain it.

Have you/her already spoke to housing association about any possible options? If you explain the situation they may be open to an alternate payment arrangement once her sentence is complete, it’s not unheard of and definitely an option to look into.

Honestly though I don’t know what I would do, it’s easy to say when you aren’t in that position. BIL is an addict and we have over the years thrown insane amounts of money at rehab, therapy, repaying debts which were supposed to get his head back above water as well as practical support in abundance, we are now no contact but it took us a long time to get here and looking back I think we were naive for a long time about what we could really do to help. You have to decide what you are prepared to do, and realistically what you’re prepared to lose.

Can’t she stay with him on release?

Once she is out she will be put into emergency husing and then on a housing list, she will be waiting a long time if she is privately renting as not deemed 'homeless'.
There is a chance when she is out she will go on a bender and you will be stuck paying her rent for a long time, best she gets out of it now..

knowing I could help her and don't.

Stop woth the guilt. You have nothing to be guilty for. You could say that always "helping" her has made her situation worse. She has always had a fallback, never faced up to the situations she has created.

She's going to prison. She did that, no one else.
She lost her kids because of her actions.
She is loosing her housing because of her actions.
Her actions have consequences.

Its not for lack of help and support that she has continued on the path she is on.

Her social housing accomodation should go back into the social housing pool for someone who is on the waiting list for that property. Its another of those situations where HER actions have a consequence.

If she keeps the flat she will probably have a massive blow out to celebrate getting out and probably end up back on drugs.

Stop rescuing her. She makes her own decisions, let her sit with the consequences.

You support her by supporting her, when she is making effort to change, when she is trying. When she isnt trying to help herself, you can't will her or make her live the life you want her to live.

I know. It's very easy for us to say DON'T DO IT!, but the reality of your guilt about not helping, and the obvious love you have for sis, is evident.

I think you might need to discuss it with someone independent and get a steer as to how to approach the dilemma. What about contacting one of the drugs counsellors at the rehab maybe and see what they think? They might not guide you, but they might. Worth a phone call anyway, or to some similar service.

Tough one.

Her probation officer will assist her with housing upon her release from prison.
Good post though, some good points there.

She needs to speak to her housing officer at the council/housing association.