To not pay towards her rent?

What about if you save money now and when she gets out, perhaps pay for a room for her for a few months? A month to month room where if she screws up, she's out?

Is there any way she'd agree to further in-patient rehab services when she is released?

As much as you would love to save your sister, it sounds like she doesn't wish to be saved, just enabled at times.

Please don't feel guilty, you cannot rescue someone who keeps taking off their life jacket after the boat capsizes.

I don't want to sway you because this is an awful predicament to be in. However, I have had a very close family member in nearly the same position as your sister, pass away this year in awful traumatic circumstances. We are all still realing from the death and I think mainly from the guilt if not doing more or trying harder. Leaving her to "hit rock bottom" or "sort herself out". I know it will be a lot of money, likely wasted but you never know if it would have been the right decision and when the inevitable happens you will feel even worse wondering if your decision has affected the outcome. Even though you tell yourself deep down that her life is her choice and this is true but it doesn't stop the horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach that I've lived with the last few months wondering if I could have helped changed the outcome.

How long is she in for? If she wants drugs enough she will get them in prison too.just seen it’s eight months.

Don’t do it - it will be a waste. Having children removed didn’t stop her drug habit, so nothing will.

I think I would be influenced by when the offence occurred that she has been jailed for. Was it before she got the flat and was actively trying to sort her life out (assuming she was) or after? If it was before I would understand why you might feel guilty about a no, but if it was after then really there is no hope and you would be wasting money and only postponing the inevitable.

What is she in prison for? You have to do something really bad to go so prison nowadays as there are no places.

How long is the sentence - i dont think its fair to deny someone else access to the flat.
If you pay - its teaching that you will pick up the slack
She needs motivators.... you picking up her slack, isnt a motivator.
I hope she finds it within her to avoid drugs in prison. That will be the first hurdle.
All the best to you all.

I don't like to judge and stereotype, but you do need to use your judgement in these situations. You can't rely on the boyfriend and friends of a drug user who's in prison. It would be stupid to do so. Unless you can and will cover the full rent cost, you're at risk of just wasting your money paying your contribution.

Certainly not, and you've made a particularly good point about what happens if somebody opts out down the line, and the money paid out will just have been wasted. You and your children need it first, so it would be a definite no from me,

She could be in breach of her tenancy anyway by being away from her home and the housing association could go for possession. I wouldn't see paying rent as a failsafe against this

This makes no sense - she’ll be relying on you and whoever else she can persuade to pay her rent!

how much will 8 months of rent be , split 3 or 4 ways?

With good behaviour will she be out sooner?

It seems a bit nuts that she can keep a property she doesn't need while she goes to prison, but that the same housing people wouldn't house her when she comes out of prison again - not saying thats not the case, but its a bit mad...🤔

It's a tough situation but I agree that you can't take this on Op, I know you want to believe this time your DSis will get better but that's the triumph of optimism over experience. I wonder if because you both had bad childhoods but you managed to make yourself a better life that you feel you owe her some how? It's not your fault Op, sadly there are some people you can't help no matter how much you feel you should

Addicts often have to hit rock bottom before they can start to help themselves. The longer you keep her from hitting rock bottom, the longer it will take her to start helping herself.

This echoes my thoughts too.
I have had a similar experience with a close family member and admit to paying large monthly sums (that I struggled to afford) to clear backdated rent arrears and prevent eviction.
That helped me to sleep better and have continued hope.
There is nothing greater than addiction and people who have no experience of it have limited understanding of the roller coaster of emotions and the impact on others.
It's very important not to give up hope and I appreciate that there is a fine line between supporting and enabling.
OP, it is very important to look after yourself. I haven't voted as I don't know if I am able to objectively do so.

Don't pay. You'll definitely take the whole lot on.

An ex once asked me to be his guarantor on one of those dodgy payday loans. I said no, and he didn't get the loan. Lo and behold he then went off sick, which I totally suspected, and that would have made me 100% liable for the loan. I'd never have been able to afford it and I probably would have lost my house or something.

How much is the rent?

This. You already know exactly how this will end.

Sometimes you have to accept that you can’t help someone however sad that it is. And part of that is no longer meaning yourself responsible for any aspect of their life.

Is there an organisation near you like Families Outside that can help with advice? It sounds like it will be helpful to go through the process with someone familiar with your area and local prison.

Your sister's housing association may be able to signpost you to a specialist organisation.

Also, the plan to keep hold of the flat while your sister is in prison might not wash with the HA anyway, which is another reason to speak to them.

Your sister can put something in writing saying she's happy for you to act on her behalf.

Generally speaking family links, work and housing help reduce the likelihood of reoffending but that doesnt mean she'll be able to hold onto the flat.

Prison social work will help her find a place when she leaves but it may be a hostel.

Its quite a short time inside, but it'd also help to find out if there are any qualifications or skills your sister can learn inside to help her get a job when she's back out.

When I had a family member with a drug addiction, I turned to www.famanon.org.uk
Its a 12 step programme for families/friends when they suspect a loved one has a drug problem. They have a helpline, literature, UK wide meetings etc.
What helped my family member to seek recovery, was to stop enabling, tough love and set boundaries. Addicts are masters at manipulation.

I wonder if you could find another way to support her - tell her that you will help her if she gets out and stays clean.

I really feel for you OP it's such a horrible dilemma.

As a wider point - it's ludicrous we expect prisoners to come out to no money and no homes - there should be safe housing for all women coming out of prison with support looking for next steps. A pipe dream in our broken society - but as you have said, your sister is a victim of addiction - some of the comments here are nasty. Ultimately - addiction is a disease.

You sound very caring and I hope you can let go of any guilt you feel.