DD getting into trouble for being late to lessons at college because she’s helping her brother

YOU as his parent need to go in and sort this out!!! College should be providing allsorts of help and it doesn’t matter did he has a diagnosis or not! They should have someone to help him and yoi
Can’t just assume they will sort it all out without going in for meetings and having the additional support teachers managing him!!

At college?

Sounds like everyone including your daughter and you have taken on the idea that because he is ND and physically vulnerable it’s her job to care for him -even in what should be a safe environment. Here to tell you that this isn’t going to be sustainable for the next stage of their lives so it’s time you all got better at fighting the system for him instead.

Some suggestions (some already suggested)

• he gets a pass to leave lessons 5 mins early so he can use the lift before the rush
• the college stations a staff member at the lifts during busy times to ensure people with disabilities and injuries can use them esp if people are getting hurt
• your son is accompanied to the lift by a staff member on a few occasions to help him learn how to ask to go first etc

Your daughter missing her lessons isn’t an option. If you’re unlucky she’ll get so behind she’ll have to drop out and then your son will be worse off than now. Challenge the college with this list (and any others you can think of) and ask which they’ll be providing to prevent this unsafe situation.

I teach A Level. It would make a difference to a student's learning if they were 5 - 10 minutes late to their class. People don't realise that 10 mins late to each class = 6 weeks of missed learning in total over a year.

College should have a risk assessment for your son. Ask to see it. The RA shouldn't include your daughter.

You need to speak to college. If your DD wasn’t there how would he cope? They need to put in reasonable adjustments but it shouldn’t really involve your DD if it is going to impact her lessons too

Surely someone at the college can help him.
I wouldn’t be comfortable with her being late because she is helping him - the college should be doing it. He could be ten mins late and wait for the big rush before he gets the lift. That would be better rather than this also affecting your dds education aswell as his imo. If the college won’t assist him, I think you will have to go yourself and help him.

Is it perhaps a with/without disabilities mis-read?

Sorry I don't quite understand your post?

Why?
for evacuation purposes? A colleague of mine is wheelchair bound and we work on the 13th floor. Appreciate it would make evacuation more difficult but you can’t reorganise a college or workplace so that people with physical disabilities must work/learn in one place

You need to contact college and get alternative help for your son, what did he do for the year before your daughter joined?

If your son is unable to safely get around the building without support, the college should be putting in place a reasonable adjustment to address that, for example proving an LSA to meet him in the morning and make sure he gets to class. It sounds like the college has left him to fend for himself and naturally your daughter has stepped in to do what the college should be doing, and well done her. YANBU but you need to speak to the college to get this sorted for both of your children. Explain the situation to them and ask them to suggest a solution. Good luck!

So the other 20 - 30 students are disturbed by the DD? That's not fair on them or the teachers.

Her form tutor needs to talk to her othet tutors and tell them to stop. I would write to the college. Your DD is doing a lot to support her DB and needs to have backup.

Get in touch with the college and tear them a new one on behalf of both your DS and DD. To make sure the message gets through to their lecturers. Seriously, how unsympathetic and unhelpful can they be at a difficult time.

Yes talk to the tutor or is there a student support facility there so that they can assist or liaise with tutors perhaps

Perhaps she could get him to his classroom a few minutes early.

You NEED to speak to the college. See if you can talk to your daughter's personal tutor to explain that she's caring for her brother. They should be understanding. You also need to make the learning support team aware that your son is having issues with the lift. There might be someone on the team who can support him at that time of day. No need to get mad at any one just yet as they may not realise the extent of what's been happening. They can't help or show understanding to your daughter if they don't fully know what's been happening. Hope you get the issue sorted x

Are you not worried about the messaging that your daughter has absorbed- that it is OK, noble even, for her to be late to make someone elses life easier, even it disrupts her life chances?

You need to follow proper channels if informal support isn't working and speak to the school.

Can't they go in early so that your daughter doesn't have to be late to her class? Surely she can help her brother to class then and get him there safely without losing any learning time in her own lessons. It's lovely that she helps him but she's obviously getting to a point where she's missing out on her own learning and coming in late every session is now unfortunately disrupting the whole of her own class

The school I worked in last year had simply added a card reader outside the lift (it's the norm for entry doors, staff spaces, labs etc to require cards). No card. No lift. SENCO or reception issues cards when student produces evidence of injury or disability requiring the lift.

Well that's why I suggested issuing lift passes to students who need them, which could be worn on a lanyard.

How would you know if a students got a disability (if you're another student)?

I would think that you would have spoken to the school about this situation and explained that your daughter is helping your vulnerable son…

Have you told them any of this? Of jsut expected them to know and work it out?

There's a crucial peices of information missing here:

• Which staff members have DS or you told about his injury and the difficulties he is having?
• What were their responses?

Obviously DS getting to class physically safely is a far higher priority than DD being on time for lessons. If DS or you if he can't, have made the college aware of his difficulties and the need for help moving safely, and they have failed to provide staff to escort him or provision for him to leave classes early to have more time to mobilise and get their before the rush, then DD is doing the school's job and you need to be telling the school that they need to make a plan to keep DS safe and comfortable at school and must not punish your daughter until they fulfil their legal obligation to keep your son safe.

If school don't really know about your son's difficulties, then you need to stop making your failure to act to support your child, your daughter's problem. You need to make sure that from TOMORROW, your DD no longer helps your DS in school. You need to go down the proper channels of requesting that suitable provision is put in place by the school, and get DS set up with everything he needs. If this means he needs to stay off tomorrow while you sort things so be it, but stop making your child do your job.