AIBU to turn down Australia job offer because son has started A levels?

Sorry that's a very simplistic view. Totally ignoring the impact such a move at such a time could have on him as a person. He could be really messed up by it (my friend's son was, who was also taken out of the UK at 16, to Aus actually. Took him 10 years to get back to his old self.).We've lived in several different countries, we took our children when they were smaller, what an experience for them. But I'd never do it now in the middle of secondary school / A Levels.

The easier compromise is that dad goes now and ensures he has flights to and from for all of them on a regular basis. Mum joins him when kid goes to uni (no foreign / international student fees required, bonus).

If you wouldn't be moving until summer 2027 either DH goes on his own until DS finishes his A levels (May/June 2028) or try to find somewhere local offering the IB and move DS onto that now.

I haven’t read the entire thread and not sure whereabouts in Australia you would be living but no assume if you leave UK before the end of the year, DS could then start year 11 at the beginning of the school year in Australia. Is there a reason you would want him to do IB rather than the standard local curriculum eg VCE in Victoria?

My main concern for a late teen would be the upheaval at that point in their education, leaving their friends etc, but if they are happy from that perspective I would not be too concerned about the different educational systems. The be advantage in Australia is that the final two years of school are still quite broad - maths and English are generally required, plus 3-4 additional subjects. First year degree courses can be very broad and flexible too. Children in the UK have generally had a bit longer in school compared to their AU counterparts (depending on where their birthday falls).

I also tend to think that nothing is wasted and their are lots of pathways and opportunities if a bit of adjustment time is needed.

Good luck, it is a big move but it sounds like it could be right for your family.

What an amazing opportunity for you all! Moving to a new country and gaining all those experiences will never be a waste of time. Education is not a race - he doesn't have to graduate from university at the same time as everyone else his age or else it's over for him.

IB is internationally recognized as the gold standard in education. There's no way his prospects could be ruined by doing the IB; quite the opposite. The Australian system is also well-esteemed.

Being financially insecure, otoh, could set your son back.

I moved from Canada to the UK at his age, switched from Canadian system to A-levels, and flourished. (I went to boarding school as well and had a fabulous time!). If he's bright and hardworking there is not much to worry about.
Edited to add: and I was super-keen to make the change.

No way would my kids have wanted to leave at this stage. They would have been psyched up about doing their A-levels and then going off to University in the UK. They would not want to leave their friends. Does your son really not mind?

Yes, unless your husband's contract is fixed term or temporary your son is likely to be paying international fees at a UK university.

Don't write off the IB. It's different obviously but a capable student will excel in either. The life experience will also make him stand out when interviewing. Honestly, I think this will really help him rather than hold him back, so if he's the only reason you're wavering, grab it!

What about International online A levels?

@FergussSingsTheBlues Is your son in his first year of A levels? Why not have him complete the Australian curriculum? It won't stop him from getting into university

My Dad moved for work when I was half way through my a-levels, different country but not as far as Oz. This was nearly 30 years ago when phone calls cost more and we were only just getting (dial up) internet. Video calls were sci fi then.

We opted to stay in England until exams finished and my Dad lived away for a while. The rest of the family joined at the end of the school year, except me as I merrily went of to uni. It wasn’t ideal but it worked, and it was really such a short period of time. It was harder for my mum than for me by far.

Your close knit little group of three will be significantly changing over the next two years as your son becomes an adult. Be wary of planning around the family dynamic you have now, rather than the one that is coming.

If you’ve been trying for years to find work, is it really an option not to take this job?

Have you floated the idea with him and seen if maybe he would be keen/excited?

Is it A levels or AS Levels? I do think it's important for his future for him to complete A levels, could your husband negotiate flights every 2 months back. I would try to keep him in school if it's just one year of exams left

I think this really.

Someone needs to get a job to support the family.

we would be moving end summer 2027. He’s very academically independent and driven.

Some sixth form in England apparently do AS levels - is that an option so he's studying for a qualifciation this year? Then start IB in Aus?

TBH though I'd send the one with the job ahead - sort things there get settled and let him do the 9 months of second year of A-levels here. I think the problem then if he's doing Uni in UK then - as you'll be other side of the world.

DH takes the job, you two stay for the few months with a trip out. DH sorts out setting up a home. DS looks at options for further education in Oz, or takes time off to work in Oz and get to know the place before deciding if he wants to study there or Uk.

it’s exciting and better than selling your house and not being able to afford uni.

It's 3 subjects at Higher Level, and also 3 subjects at Standard Level.

Maths, English, 1 language (can be beginner), 1 science, 1 humanity, and 1 arts (though in lieu of arts students can take a second science or humanity).

The marking system is out of 45, and the highest mark achievable in each subject is 7 (so, maximum of 42 pts). The remaining 3 pts come from a Theory of Knowledge (TOK) class + an Extended Essay that relates to one of the Higher Level subjects.

Why are you confused? People have fixed term contracts. Someone may have decided not to return after maternity leave (but the leave itself is covered). The company may be opening a new branch which is ready in a year's time. They may have secured a new contract, but there's a year left to go with the new client's current supplier. There are so many reasons, and it is common in plenty of industries. Not all jobs are one-in-one-out at the drop of a hat like for example retail or the fast food industry.

As you said, this is about your sons' welfare. And this is a particular tricky time to move - Absolutely A levels, friends, and mental state etc.

Personally I'd leave it until he has finished his A Levels, moving now would mess him up in a few ways. Most likely.

A long time ago my dad had to do the same. He went, visited a few times a year. We were, and are close. They didn’t want the upheaval for me and siblings. If 1 parent goes it’s probably easier practically, then a couple of years to understand implications etc.

The end of summer 27 as in September-ish? So your son will have done a full year of his A Levels already?

Given the fact that A Level exams are done and dusted by the end of May, it would only be 9 months before you could join your husband in Australia. It would then be your son's choice as to whether he went with you or stayed in the UK to go to university. I know you say it's all of you or none of you, but 9 months will go by so quickly, and you can visit him and he can visit you in your son's school holidays.

It sounds like a really good opportunity, but at a really bad time for your son. Somebody has to make the compromise here, and I just think it should be the adults. Does you son even WANT to move to the other side of the world? It's huge! There are so many posters on here being so casual about it.. it is a massive, massive deal! He has a home, friends, school, family. It may be his absolute worst nightmare to move.

At least if it happened a year later, he would be at a crossroads in life anyway, i.e. starting uni or work, so it would be a far better time to do it.

confused about a job that doesn’t start for a year!

If your son is bright and up for it I’d go. Losing your home and having no way to pay for university will be worse. Then decide if it makes sense to split for a few months or all go together. It’s really not a huge thing to live apart for a year, I know plenty of people doing that. Presumably your son would be at uni here in the UK anyway so you’re looking at living apart soon regardless?

It sounds like you really need this job - no job and having to sell the house is way more traumatic than a temporary separation or changing exams

I think you're being a bit too rigid. First about not wanting him to do IB. Loads of kids do and love it and you say he's a good all-rounder. I'm confused about the timeline but can he start IB here and then continue in Australia?

Ditto have you asked him how he feels about boarding school? Is he in a school with boarding facilities already? If so is a few months of boarding while he does A-levels really that traumatic? Can you not arrange a deal where you fly back to the UK for a bit, then he comes to Australia for holidays? You say he's independent and driven and the following year he'll be off to uni, it's very different from dropping an eight yr old in a boarding school on the other side of the world.

What does your son want, OP?

At his age, he's more than capable of evaluating his options and expressing a preference.

I dont mean this disrespectfully but I have to ask - what was your husband's plan? He was applying for jobs abroad?

Surely if you want to emigrate then going to school in Aus with set him up with friendship groups as well. Social is just as important (more so, sometimes than academic in job terms) for him.