AIBU to turn down Australia job offer because son has started A levels?

A lot of posters skimming over a 16/17 year old spending a year studying for exams he won’t sit, listening to his peers going to university open days & planning their futures, as some kind of jolly exercise.

How much have your A-levels mattered in your life? Is it more or less than the experience of living in a new country? He's just started so the sunk cost is low. You have no work here. I'd absolutely move. I can't believe you're thinking twice.

The only thing that would make me hesitate slightly would be Australian climate change issues. Other than that I would be packing my bags now. We have awful work/life balance in this country. If you can afford a nice house, pool etc, do it!

Learning is never "wasted". If he re-starts, on the IB, taking the same subjects at higher level, that will give him a leg up on those. Combined with being "incredibly bright" he will have a relatively easy first year on the IB academically, which is just what he would need in order to spend time finding his feet and making friends. Talk to him about it that way.

There's nothing wrong with IB (it's harder, more subjects and all exams at the end not in 2 parts, get to experience essay writing that preps you well for uni and volunteering). It sells you much better for uni and is much more rounded

I got forced into IB as the grammar school I went to for 6th form only allowed you to sit a-levels if they deemed you "too stupid" to do IB (about 4 people in the year

It isn't ideal for applying to medical schools as the universities don't understand it do used to set impossible ucas targets of like 8 a* equivalent, when the alevel ucas was AAA

But was v fair for non-medicine subjects and great for those who were undecided as to careers as you still to English maths science language humanity and free choice

I think if OP had clarified at the start that the move would be August 2027 and DS takes exams May 2028, then everyone would be agreeing with this post. It's just obvious in this case that DH should go on his own. This would also confirm the job/location/package are all ok before uprooting your son.

Assuming he is in year 12 I’d go. He’s barely started. Get there for term to start in Jan. if it’s year 13 send your husband ahead, and move yourself in June.

If you would be moving at the end of Summer 27 then that is about a year away and I would say definitely go for it. Your son will be finished A levels in May/June 28 so your husband could go ahead and you would only be 8/9 months behind. Then your son wouldn't have any issues about uni fees if he wants to go to uni in the UK

What made your DH apply for a job in Australia in the first place if this was going to be a big issue?

Can one stay and one go? Is there anyway for him trf to equivalent studies? Is it really that impossible for you both to find work in Australia?

Not enough information, do you even want to emigrate? Are there genuinely no employment opportunities, even if it means selling your home, renting and working lower grade jobs until your son finishes his education. Unless relocating has always been part of the life plan and its just come earlier than you would have liked

Would you be planning to remain there permanently? If not, your best options would be either for OH to go alone, or you all to go but DS to do his A levels on line.
If you are planning stay permanently, does it really matter what type of qualifications he has? Surely he would just study whatever they study over there and that’s what uni and employers over there would be looking for.

Extremely close families can & do live apart so there’s no reason that if you’re determined your son does A-levels, that you stay with him & your DH goes to Australia alone - it’s only for a short period of time.

Have you both been unemployed for 2 years?

“He could be really messed up by it (my friend's son was, who was also taken out of the UK at 16, to Aus actually. Took him 10 years to get back to his old self.)”

That is rather unusual - what is there to get over from? And took 10 years?! He wasn’t in jail!

I moved from Croatia to the UK at 15; tough but it was an alazing experience. I then moved to Australia when I was 27 - again, amazing experience. I feel truly lucky that I was given these chances to move around. It has been a bit tough at times - but it has also been incredibly adventurous and fun. That’s what life is about.

I now have 3 passports and a high flying career.

OP’s son will be absolutely fine. No language barrier, no culture barrier. Go.

@CoventryCity

Australia? No way. It’s not practical

The school year in Australia starts in January. He’ll be fine. Get your husband to go ahead of you, register your son for schools and follow at Christmas. That way your husband has some time to know the job will work.

What package has he been offered?

I think your husband should accept the job offer and you stay behind with son. It will probably take about a year to get the VISA and by that time your soon will only have one year left. Your husband could sort your accommodation out and get a taste of Aussie life. Hopefully you can all join after his last year of a levels but it would be interesting to hear your son’s take it on.

I think your husband should take the job. There are very, very few opportunities for 50+ recruitment at the moment in the UK. It's the worse for nearly twenty years.
I have friends that have been out of work for two years. Ex blue chip.
Fwiw I'm c-suite. I got offered a Denmark based job when my son was a baby. Huge mistake by turning it down. I lost out in the MBO. Later when my daughter was about to do A levels I was offered a African based role. I accepted but COVID hit. She was to have her IB paid for at a international school. Is that an option @FergussSingsTheBlues ? She's reserved but was thrilled by the idea.

no one is asking you to separate! Just live in different countries for a short few months.

You are being ridiculous, even "close family" can spend a few weeks/ months apart! You cannot be that dependent on another adult, it's not healthy.

Why can't he continue his education there?
Im just back from an extended trip to Australia I would move there in a shot if I could (too old unfortunately)

Op I think you're letting your past trauma haunt you. Speak to your son, you're not 'shoving' him in boarding school. Discuss all options with him and see where you end up. He may be fine with boarding, fine doing online, fine finding something in Australia, he might not be either. You won't know until you have a chat with him. Have the chat as a family n start from there.

Once your son is a legal adult might it have implications on whether he can move with you as part of the family?

I had the same problem with my DD many years ago, after she got into one of the best state schools in the country, not UK. Fortunately, a recently married niece took over our accommodation for the period. The office paid all the half term school holiday flights to China, she flew by herself, they also paid for the taxi to and from the airport. She managed to get excellent marks at the BAC but she was and still is determined person, 30 years on.

IF your son came with you to Oz, and studied there, would he be regarded as an international student IF he then wanted to go to university in UK? In Oz?

Personally I would do whatever I could to enable the move to Oz (including staying in UK with DS) but I wanted to raise another issue to think about.