AIBU to turn down Australia job offer because son has started A levels?

I think it is daft to turn down a job somewhere you would love to live if you have been unemployed for the last two years and are at risk of losing the house.
Like some others I would also plan to split the family during term time from Sept 27 to May 28. I have experience of long distance marriage and whilst it is miserable, 9 months will go very quickly.
But if that is not an option for you maybe you should speak to your son’s current college and find a way that he can do AS levels in summer of 27. He will have an extra year of sixth form level study but that is not important in the long term and at least if he does AS levels he will have something to show for it. Maybe also consider swapping subjects to avoid repeating learning for IB if he is a good all rounder. So include in AS levels one or two subjects he would not have otherwise studied.

Go for it. If your son is as hard working as you say , he will academically fly in Oz. Loads more opportunities there for him as a young adult too.

I would move. Can your son do a year of IB here before you move?

Maybe timing just slipped ?- ie they thought they'd get there after GCSE and not 12 months into two year A-levels.

That's what happend to friends we knew who emigrated to Aus - went from dragging on and on in background of their lives to suddenly all go.

Education aspects aside - where in Australia would this be? Major city or outback? As a teenager, moving would have been hard enough but if it had been eg to <insert mining town here> I think that would have been a lot more difficult than to a city.

I see there is a summer 2027 start date for the job but what is the actual lead time on your DH and the family getting a visa? They’re not quick even with a job offer in hand and your son could well be through his first year of A Levels or beyond by the time it comes through.

@Thisismetooaswell I agree that this sounds like the best solution. Although @OccasionalHope mentioned visa issues so they must definitely get that sorted out before making the final decision.

One of her points is extremely valid. Presumably when your husband applied for interviewed for and was offered this role, you knew your son was going into A-Levels. What has changed? Presumably you wouldn't waste people's time by applying for a job in Oz if you didn't expect to take it if offered. We can probably help you more if you give us the full context, explain what your original plan was and why that is no longer feasible?

You definitely need to work out the visa issues.

if you wait until after A levels and son is 18 can he be included at all?

if you all go before he turns 18 does he age out of being a dependent at some point?

Mine are the same age and would be overjoyed to move to Australia so you do really need to ask him.

And lots of students make a shift to a local sixth form college for sixth form anyway. It is just his new school will be rather more miles away .

Her son has already made that move. He would be moving again.

The planned move would be summer 2027. The Australian school year begins in January. So the son would essentially be restarting sixth form in Jan 2028 when he might already be 18 and would have just a few more months in school if in the uk.

Surely he can finish his A levels here and apply for higher education in Australia?

I agree he should finish his A Levels in the uk, but he might not want to apply for higher education in Aus. He might want to stay in the uk. OP might not want to split the family up, but in a short time her son will be an adult making his own decisions.

Have you looked into online schooling so he can continue his Alevels? Try Kings Interhigh, it’s a fantastic virtual school although payable. My daughter has been part of their community since year 9 and has this week started A Levels. All her exams were sat remotely at home.

The IB is a great thing for academically bright kids. If your son is on board with the move I pull look to transfer him to an in person IB in the UK right away to smooth the transfer.

The job doesn't start till summer 2027 - which means son would have done 12 months of a 2 year course and only have 9 months really left.

So if they started Jan/Feb is after move that would be 2028 - which is 18 months away.

They could seearch round see if he can do AS levels this year - so 12 months course or look at other 12 month courses or start IB course here and switch - but TBH most logical thing I can see would be wait out a-levels send DH out and join after - but then you have issue if Uni and uni funding.

DH has at times wanted to change jobs - moving from wales back to england but given kids are sitting A-levels and it could affect uni funding we're waiting it out - but we are not about to lose the house and have income in meantime which OP doesn't.

If you move next summer could he do something different this year rather than 1 year of an A level although that's probably quite hard to sort at this late stage.
I would talk to your son he might be excited by the thought.
What does he want to do at University?

My friend has recently moved to Australia for work and from starting the process to actually going took a huge amount of time I would hazard that your son would be almost finishing his A levels by the time - but she emigrated i'm not sure if this is a temporary move on your behalf? if your son did want to go the IB is a respected qualification and it is accepted in UK universities. There are also online access to higher education diplomas which are the equivalent of 3 A levels accepted at universities - you may also be able to find fully online A levels The difference with that is there are exams so it depends how these would be sat. I think it's certainly worth more thought than just automatically ruling it out if your son's academic qualifications are your only hindrance.

100 per cent your DH should go and then you follow when you can. It's not that unusual. You'd all cope. The dramatics around being a 'really close family' is a bit silly, most families are. It's not the end of the world, and it's temporary.

Australian school year starts Jan/Feb so your son could start IB then at a school in Oz (or Oz equivalent of A levels).

But your son's view is an important piece in the puzzle here OP.

You need to involve him.

we would be moving end summer 2027

I missed this bit! He’ll have finished his A levels in the middle of June 2028. You’d be talking about a time period of less than 9 months when you’d be apart (and presumably either you or your DH could do a trip over the Christmas holidays). Surely he can finish his A levels here and apply for higher education in Australia? The “all of us or none of us”
seems extreme when you’re talking about months apart.

And lots of students make a shift to a local sixth form college for sixth form anyway. It is just his new school will be rather more miles away ... Australia will bring fresh experiences and perspectives, but it isn't so foreign that he will struggle culturally or with the language. I don't think it will be appreciably harder for him to make new friends than if he were to transfer to a new Sixth Form college in the UK - which plenty do every year.

Hi OP,

So I think you need to look into the visa and schooling options in more detail. Right now it sounds like you are eager to go but worried about your son and putting his welfare first (rightly so).

But it comes across that your looking at all the negative points for your son and not the positive. So as one poster put it, even if he did have to restart and do an IB he might have leg up from doing his a levels for a year. Or are their International schools that do A-levels?

Also if this maybe a permanent move for you and your dh it may be a lot easier if your son moves with you as minor for visa reasons and may open an easier pathway for permeant residency for your son giving him literally a whole other continent of opportunity. I don't know the visa rules but this is something I would definitely look into.

And even if these are not options I do think what other posters say that you dh could move first you would only be separated for about 10 months, which though I understand would be an upheaval the fact that you are both living of redundancy and savings is also not a long term plan.

So quite long post sorry, but do look at visa and schooling options more and also look at the positives points for your family too.

Completely agree!

It sounds like OP hasn't even told her son about this yet, his reaction is the most important thing.

No year is wasted unless you waste it op.

I don't want to sound critical (and am genuinely wanting to be supportive), but the biggest problem you are facing seems to me to be a bit of a failure to lift your eyes above the horizon and think outside the box. You don't have to tread the path most followed just because that's all you have thought about until now. I know it's natural to have expectations and there can be an adjustment period while you open your mind a bit. You have fantastic opportunities here!

There is really no reason to feel he needs A levels just because that is what you were expecting. The IB is a fantastic qualification, and I know quite a few very bright UK students who are now looking to apply to the top Australian universities as a shake-up continues here on intakes. He might well get a far better offer there in real terms.

I was at a very prestigious UK university and can honestly say the Aussie international students there were among the best and brightest: their education system is pretty rigorous and they were sort of unblinkered in the way they think. A levels is actually quite a narrowly-focused leaver's qualification.

He can use the time of cross-over in so many ways that would give him a point of difference. Approach this with optimism and like a fighter! Take him with you: it's a huge opportunity and his CV will look fresh and distinctive, quite apart from the benefits of a change of scene and perspective.

@FergussSingsTheBlues why 2 years unemployed? Is it a very niche occupation?

I’d move; incredible experience and he will find losing his home a lot more disruptive.