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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to turn down Australia job offer because son has started A levels?

241 replies

FergussSingsTheBlues · 10/09/2026 07:57

My husband has been offered a job in Australia. Neither is us can find full time work in the uk and we know we’ll need to sell our house in two years if this carries on. We are relieved to say the least. We’ve both lived abroad plenty so it’s something we know we can deal with.

The problem is my eldest son has literally last week just started a levels.
There are zero schools or colleges that do a levels where we would be going, it’s all IB.

Boarding won’t be an option or living apart, we’re a very close family and would find that traumatic.

Has anybody else been in this position? I don’t see how we can make this work because of education and think we’ll have to turn it down. (We know he’d be allowed domestic fees for university but I don’t know further information). My son is bright and hardworking and we don’t want to wreck his prospects

OP posts:
WorthyBlueHare · 11/09/2026 07:59

Your son has only just started. Could he change now to an IB online then move quickly?

Original poster
FergussSingsTheBlues · 11/09/2026 07:53

Cadeaukatze · 10/09/2026 16:09

And also, your son is not you.

Show quote history

We were living on one foreign country and then they moved to another totally far away, another continent. I was fine about it but I generally take things in my stride. When I look back though I think it was wrong, it was really hard them being so far away when I was at university in England. Massive journey is ok but the hard thing actually is the time zones, not being able to phone my mum when i wanted etc. I found it very isolating. I don’t want that for my son. I am super confident and always have been: my son not so. He’s sensitive and introverted.

OP posts:
Original poster
FergussSingsTheBlues · 11/09/2026 07:39

HoppingPavlova · 10/09/2026 09:23

We’re a close family and either we all go or none of us go

That’s so silly in the position you are in. Your DH should go out for the year and then you and son go join him after A levels finish. It’s only a year, he wouldn’t even need to come home to visit in such a short time, will allow him to live cheaply (a cheap situation boarding in a room), save the pennies! You seem determined to be foolish about this though.

Thank you everybody for the advice and posts; I am reading through them and will reply properly.

At the moment, I can’t see this really working to be honest.

Think we will have to send my husband on ahead while we stay here.

it’s fixed term and if we don’t sell the house it will be classed as a a temporary move which it very much is for university purposes.

OP posts:
Idlemummy · 11/09/2026 06:48

KeenRubyRaven · 10/09/2026 19:05

I know there's been lots since- but I wanted to make a comment about home fees - you really need to check this, if you want/expect him to come back to the UK for University (which is the assumption I am making - so happy to be corrected piled on if I am wrong...

UK university home status is contingent on you being resident in the UK for the 2-3 years prior to your university starting... and even if you get home fee status for the student finance loan for fees (which is University dependent), he may be treated as an international student for student finance support (living costs loan - this is sometimes dependent on yoru tax/residency in the 2 years prior) - which means he would be ineligible and you would have to fully fund his accomodation and living costs.

I absolutely think you should go and do it, but I think you need to be mindful of wider wider picture...

Show quote history

I said something similar - but the two loans - tuition and maintenance - aren't treated separately in terms of home/international aspects. Home/international status is relevant to tuition fees only. The student finance is separate - that's the part that requires 3 years' residence. There are people who e.g. live in Singapore but qualify for home fees because their parents are on a temporary contract, but they won't qualify for student finance, because they've been living in Singapore, not UK and don't meet the 3-year rule. It's a complex system and it's easy for people to get caught out by moving abroad, even for a while. Even with home fees, you'd be looking at funding £60k+ over 3 years... :-/

TheKitchenLady · 10/09/2026 23:24

I'd recommend IB over A Levels anyway. It's internationally recognised and has the perception of more rounded students.

abbynabby23 · 10/09/2026 22:18

FergussSingsTheBlues · 10/09/2026 07:57

My husband has been offered a job in Australia. Neither is us can find full time work in the uk and we know we’ll need to sell our house in two years if this carries on. We are relieved to say the least. We’ve both lived abroad plenty so it’s something we know we can deal with.

The problem is my eldest son has literally last week just started a levels.
There are zero schools or colleges that do a levels where we would be going, it’s all IB.

Boarding won’t be an option or living apart, we’re a very close family and would find that traumatic.

Has anybody else been in this position? I don’t see how we can make this work because of education and think we’ll have to turn it down. (We know he’d be allowed domestic fees for university but I don’t know further information). My son is bright and hardworking and we don’t want to wreck his prospects

I wouldn’t reject it immediately because your son will move on in few years but if you need to sell your house it will impact the welfare of the rest of your kids and yourself too to be honest. Is the salary offered good enough to sustain you in Australia? It’s a very expensive move.

BusyZoo · 10/09/2026 21:38

Hi OP, having lived in Australia I suggest you join one or both of the following Facebook groups which will have loads of informed opinions on this:
UK Mums in Melbourne
Brits in Melbourne

I'm sure there are similar groups for the other major cities but I know these two are particularly active and have lots of UK parents who have moved over there with children of all ages.

one thing to be wary of:
to qualify as a UK applicant for British universities you have to be resident in the UK for three years prior to the first day of the course. So if your son moves to Australia and then wants to come back for uni post A-Level he will be treated as an international student (with the increased fees associated with that) even though he is a British citizen.

HairyBanana · 10/09/2026 21:34

For a 16/17 old the opportunity to move abroad and study for an IB is amazing. It will put him ahead in university and job prospects. If you can give this to him, why wouldn't you?

Clearinguptheclutter · 10/09/2026 21:08

Now you say you wouldn’t be moving until the summer that changes things -
so he’d do a whole year of a-levels to potentially throw all that work away? That’s not right
if you went to Australia by Christmas or at the very beginning of the year that would be better because the academic year starts in Jan/feb in Australia I think?

that said for just a year might he be able to stay with relatives for year 13?

in short I wouldn’t uproot the family to Australia at the end of year 12! I would at the beginning though. However in your circs I would send your dh. Presumably waiting in the UK for your son to finish school however might then make it more complicated for any younger children if you have them.

bababamama · 10/09/2026 19:12

He could start this January if you can get everything in place. Alternatively if it has to be next summer, can he stay with grandparents, cousins or friends even for one year? I know his welfare is paramount but good jobs are hard to find. Alternatively your husband starts next summer and you stay in the uk for basically 10 months.

Ooooookay · 10/09/2026 19:06

FergussSingsTheBlues · 10/09/2026 09:23

I had friends at international school
who were doing the IB. They found it hard going really. I did A levels myself so no idea…I know the extended essay is a source of pressure. He’s a strong all rounder so would be fine on that respect

I did actually wonder if this is something he could do before joining the school - we would be moving end summer 2027. He’s very academically independent and driven.

But I have no idea really and nobody to ask

Show quote history

What does your son want to do post A levels? If you and he waiting a year to go join your husband would he still be able to get a visa as he would be over 18?

KeenRubyRaven · 10/09/2026 19:05

FergussSingsTheBlues · 10/09/2026 07:57

My husband has been offered a job in Australia. Neither is us can find full time work in the uk and we know we’ll need to sell our house in two years if this carries on. We are relieved to say the least. We’ve both lived abroad plenty so it’s something we know we can deal with.

The problem is my eldest son has literally last week just started a levels.
There are zero schools or colleges that do a levels where we would be going, it’s all IB.

Boarding won’t be an option or living apart, we’re a very close family and would find that traumatic.

Has anybody else been in this position? I don’t see how we can make this work because of education and think we’ll have to turn it down. (We know he’d be allowed domestic fees for university but I don’t know further information). My son is bright and hardworking and we don’t want to wreck his prospects

I know there's been lots since- but I wanted to make a comment about home fees - you really need to check this, if you want/expect him to come back to the UK for University (which is the assumption I am making - so happy to be corrected piled on if I am wrong...

UK university home status is contingent on you being resident in the UK for the 2-3 years prior to your university starting... and even if you get home fee status for the student finance loan for fees (which is University dependent), he may be treated as an international student for student finance support (living costs loan - this is sometimes dependent on yoru tax/residency in the 2 years prior) - which means he would be ineligible and you would have to fully fund his accomodation and living costs.

I absolutely think you should go and do it, but I think you need to be mindful of wider wider picture...

potenial · 10/09/2026 18:17

FergussSingsTheBlues · 10/09/2026 09:23

I had friends at international school
who were doing the IB. They found it hard going really. I did A levels myself so no idea…I know the extended essay is a source of pressure. He’s a strong all rounder so would be fine on that respect

I did actually wonder if this is something he could do before joining the school - we would be moving end summer 2027. He’s very academically independent and driven.

But I have no idea really and nobody to ask

Show quote history

Will he definitely be eligible for IB for the entire durstion, if he'll be a year behind? In the UK, most people who moved wouldn't be funded for a 2 year course if they were over 18 at the start of the second year, which it sounds like he will be, maybe even 19.

If you're not looking to move til Summer 2027 I'd strongly consider whether it's possible to leave him to do his final year of A-levels whilst living with a friend or relative. It'll literally be 8.5 months, and you/he could visit the other at Xmas, and he could come out for am extended summer hol after his final a level exams. It'd also be (potentially) a year from you moving out there to him starting uni, if he stays in UK (he'd probably be 18). Versus likely 3 years if he moves, and wants to go to UK uni, due to him having to drop back a year, and the year not starting til January, so he'd have to wait til Sept to come to UK uni.
He also may not have legal right to remain in Aus during that gap, and may not have rights to work etc, so you probably want to check that out too.

The other option is your DH goes out to Aus summer 2027 and gets himself set up, and you stay in the UK with your kid until he finishes his A-levels, even if you end up renting for a bit.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/09/2026 17:49

What does he think about it? At a similar age my dad had an almost job offer in Hong Kong and I was really up for it it sounded so cool even though inhad great friends in the uk, we didn’t end up moving then but it planted the seed for me to move there in my 20s and I had a ball

Gemilo · 10/09/2026 17:48

FergussSingsTheBlues · 10/09/2026 09:23

I had friends at international school
who were doing the IB. They found it hard going really. I did A levels myself so no idea…I know the extended essay is a source of pressure. He’s a strong all rounder so would be fine on that respect

I did actually wonder if this is something he could do before joining the school - we would be moving end summer 2027. He’s very academically independent and driven.

But I have no idea really and nobody to ask

Show quote history

My daughter did the IB having been in a completely different type of school. She found it easier. There are different levels and you do 6 subjects so it’s more adaptable to your strengths and weaknesses.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/09/2026 17:47

How quickly could you move? He could probably catch up with ib a few weeks into term. He could also switch to an ib college tomorrow if there is one with a space local to you in anticipation of the move

SylvanMoon · 10/09/2026 17:41

I'd ask your DS to seriously consider doing the IB. Perhaps he should talk to some of the tutors at the school you're considering (if you move to Australia) to get a sense of what he could expect. If he's bright, he'll probably enjoy the challenges.

Excellentsausages · 10/09/2026 17:06

Idlemummy · 10/09/2026 15:57

Just be aware that if your son ever wanted to go to a UK university he would have had to have lived in the UK for three years directly beforehand in order to access student finance for tuition and maintenance (totally separate from the home/International fees issue - even if he got home fees and had been in AUS for a couple of years, he's likely have to fund himself (unless there is an Australian loan system that would lend for this - no idea)).

Yep i think OP is underthinking things like this - he may get lucky and qualify for Home fees in the UK, like if they can prove their move is temporary. But typically students have to be ordinarily resident in the UK for 3 years prior to study to qualify for Home fees.

If Aus unis have similar rules he'd be international fees there too.

Plus the student loan/maintenance thing. Probably would be a good idea to work out finances of everything.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 10/09/2026 16:30

ok there are options:

  • you turn it down
  • your husband goes on his own for the first year whilst your son finishes a levels
  • your son stays behind for a year and moves in with a friend and joins you for say Christmas or you come back for it.
  • you move your son to a different school now where he starts on IB (see if new job will pay)
  • your son moves school at end of the year and does a levels in Australia somehow or starts again there with IB
  • see if you can move out already in feb and he starts already at the start of the aus school year
Cadeaukatze · 10/09/2026 16:09

BackforMN · 10/09/2026 16:08

Why did your parents do this with regard to you at 16?

Show quote history

And also, your son is not you.

Cadeaukatze · 10/09/2026 16:09

itsgoodtobehome · 10/09/2026 14:58

IB is just as good as A levels. English universities accept it so if he wanted to come back to UK for uni he would be fine. I actually think IB sounds more impressive than A levels anyway. Shows you have experience of living in a foreign country.

To do the IB you have to be good across a spread of subjects rather than specialising like you do in the UK so I am always impressed when I see someone has done the IB.

You don't need to live overseas to do it though, my old school in Devon offers it these days.

That really isn't a barrier OP - let your son do the IB and go to Australia. Or find an online school to do A levels with like https://kingsinterhigh.co.uk/ but I think the IB is better.

BackforMN · 10/09/2026 16:08

FergussSingsTheBlues · 10/09/2026 08:44

Yes and I speak from experience … my parents did this to me at the same age and shoved me into boarding school.

Show quote history

Why did your parents do this with regard to you at 16?

TinytToddler · 10/09/2026 16:07

Have you asked son about it?
moving next year he’ll have sime
AS or is it different now?

an extra year in the scheme of things isn’t much. Would be be uni in Australia or coming back without you?

BackforMN · 10/09/2026 16:06

You say he is your “eldest”

how old are your other children?

Wadsworthy · 10/09/2026 16:06

Well, that 's why I asked about subjects and disciplines. But most of the knowledge is pretty much the same - even if the water does swirl around the plughole in the opposite way! And it would be 18months if they emigrated in July.