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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m not being unreasonable but need a poll and help with choosing a present.

121 replies

Sookisssss · 09/09/2026 23:30

It’s DP’s 40th next month. We don’t normally spend a lot on each other, but obviously I’m spending more this year due to it being a big one.

I did want to get him something signed by his favourite author but I couldn’t find anything reasonably priced.

I had decided to get him a newspaper from the day he was born, a programme for his football team for a match played the weekend he was born, and a first edition of It which was released in 1986. He likes Stephen King but hasn’t read It. He loved Pet Semetary. Phantom of the Opera also debuted on his actual birthday so I was going to get a programme for that although I don’t think he’s ever been to the theatre.

However, a book signed by his favourite author has just gone on sale. The book is in Italian so he could never read it. I can’t buy both this and It.

Which would you prefer? Any other suggestions welcome too.

YABU - It
YANBU - Signed Italian book

OP posts:
FishBish · 10/09/2026 06:22

Definitely go for the signed Papillon. You know that your husband loves the author and the book.

He's never even read IT so shelling out money for a first edition is a bit odd and also adds a certain amount of pressure for him tolove it. Plus it's not the most pleasant of books....I wouldn't want my partner to gift me a horror book for my 40th! And most people don't read first editions anyway, they want to keep them pristine so it's not likely he'll read that copy anyway when he could get one from the library.... It's not an out of print rare book.

Dandeloosha · 10/09/2026 06:18

Sorry, OP, this is just stuff that’ll gather dust after half an hour. They’re novelty gifts that’ll go from the back of the cupboard to a box in the loft. Why not get him something he’d use - a Stephen King box set, tickets to a football match or Phantom of the Opera, or even a limited edition Pet Semetary Mondo Ltd. Ed. print (https://ebay.io/m/AshJIg). Not my thing but at least you could frame it and hang it on the wall.

GarlicSomething · 10/09/2026 05:52

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/123963610146

"STEPHEN KING SIGNED BOOK The Green Mile 6 COFFEY ON THE MILE (First Edition)" Seller has no visible feedback.

Morepositivemum · 10/09/2026 05:43

If you know he’ll like what you’ve chosen then I think your ideas are great op. I’ve a signed edition of a book I’ll never read again as I read it as a teen and I do just pick it up and look at it sometimes, which sounds weird but I love it! All presents are potentially something to just shove in a drawer but that doesn’t mean people will do it (or that they won’t regularly go to said drawer to pick it up!)

Mosaic123 · 10/09/2026 05:41

Cashmere jumper?

Brendayouknowthatyouremuchtoolazy · 10/09/2026 05:37

Sorry OP, but all those things are shite to shove in a drawer. I was given a newspaper from the day I was born for my 40th, I put it in the recycling unread, who cares? If you don't normally spend much, then don't bother now - one of those things would be sufficient if you have to but he's not his own archivist so a random collection of 1986 memorabilia is just weird.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 10/09/2026 04:19

Something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read, is a good guide for presents. I'd also add something to eat and something to drink.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 10/09/2026 04:15

Papillon was published in 1969 and Henri Charrière died in 1973, so there probably aren't many signed copies around.

You might be able to get him.a nice leatherbound edition or an early hardback in good condition.

ChristinaPaigeDoesNotApprove · 10/09/2026 03:58

@Sookisssss Why not get him a book by an author who shares SK fanbase to help him maybe discover a new author - like Joe Hill (King's son), Robert R. McCammon, C. J. Tudor or Paul Tremblay

Original poster
Sookisssss · 10/09/2026 01:00

HeddaGarbled · 10/09/2026 00:48

I think you’re barking up the wrong tree here. You’re going with memento/commemorative rather than something he’d enjoy. What does he really want? He’s 40, not 80.

Eh? I’m going to get him either a first edition of It or a signed copy of Papillon, both of which he will like and enjoy.

He will enjoy reading the newspaper and like the football programme.

Do 40 year old men have to wait until they’re 80 to enjoy reading? Very strange post.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sookisssss · 10/09/2026 00:57

Nimblethimble · 10/09/2026 00:48

I'm really sorry op, I don't think any of those sound very 'him' apart from It (and I don't even know him!).

The newspaper etc is just another thing to buy but it'll just end up collecting dust. Book in Italian will definitely only be there for show.

How about a copy of the film It and a meal out? Or you cook his favourite foods? I really wouldn't get too hung up on a big gift if you don't usually do that. Or he can choose something he really loves?

He would absolutely hate a meal, cooked by me or anyone else. He also doesn’t particularly like films and the reason behind It is because a first edition would be from the year he was born. He would never tell me what he wants - it is the thought behind presents he appreciates.

He’ll enjoy reading the newspaper and like the football programme.

He has an English copy of his favourite book which he’s read. The signed copy would absolutely be for collectible/display purposes. The book is semi-autobiographical and he loves it. I would prefer to get him a signed photo or poster or something he could display properly, but all I can find that’s signed is a book.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 10/09/2026 00:48

I think you’re barking up the wrong tree here. You’re going with memento/commemorative rather than something he’d enjoy. What does he really want? He’s 40, not 80.

Nimblethimble · 10/09/2026 00:48

I'm really sorry op, I don't think any of those sound very 'him' apart from It (and I don't even know him!).

The newspaper etc is just another thing to buy but it'll just end up collecting dust. Book in Italian will definitely only be there for show.

How about a copy of the film It and a meal out? Or you cook his favourite foods? I really wouldn't get too hung up on a big gift if you don't usually do that. Or he can choose something he really loves?

Original poster
Sookisssss · 10/09/2026 00:46

Millytante · 10/09/2026 00:27

A signed book in Italian, if he cannot read it, hasn’t much joy in it (unless regarded as a pretty minor investment).
Obviously the book he can read is preferable.

Show quote history

Yeah but he’s already read it. It’s more about having something which has been held by and signed by the author.

OP posts:
concertinacornflake · 10/09/2026 00:35

I wouldn't bother with the Phantom thing, you've got enough historic momentoes.

On the books, I'd get the one he can read.

Millytante · 10/09/2026 00:27

Sookisssss · 09/09/2026 23:43

Surprised that most would go for It!

A signed book in Italian, if he cannot read it, hasn’t much joy in it (unless regarded as a pretty minor investment).
Obviously the book he can read is preferable.

Original poster
Sookisssss · 09/09/2026 23:55

sesquipedalian · 09/09/2026 23:47

Who’s his favourite author?

It’s Papillon.

OP posts:
sesquipedalian · 09/09/2026 23:47

Who’s his favourite author?

Original poster
Sookisssss · 09/09/2026 23:43

Surprised that most would go for It!

OP posts: