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AIBU?

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AIBU not inviting my prankster brother to protect my fiancée's wedding day

112 replies

OneSereneBiscuit · 09/09/2026 21:37

I am marrying the love of my life "Amanda" in a few months . We have a beautiful two year old son and a great life together. unfortunately she suffers from an anxiety disorder. She does see a therapist, but it is still something she has to manage on a daily basis, and wedding planning has been very hard for her emotionally.
I have an older brother "Jason" who is pretty famous for playing pranks that most people would consider over the line. For a few examples...

  • tying a friend up and giving him a horrible spray tan
  • setting his best friend up on a fake date and smashing pie all over her face as she waited thinking she got stood up
  • filling a kids pool up with ice water inside the house and rolling his wife off the couch while she was sleeping
I'm just giving some context that his pranks are always over the top and would be a dealbreaker for most people. However he only does them to people he likes. We aren't very close and he has hardly interacted with Amanda at all. I really don't think he would pull a prank at the wedding, but she told me it is something she is extremely anxious about. Here is the thing, she has to manage her anxiety every day of her life and I want her wedding day to be perfect and as stress free as I can make it, so I decided not to invite Jason. This has really upset my parents. I've never seen them so furious. They are calling me a bad son, bad brother, saying I'm not a man. They feel we are "tearing apart the family" As for Jason I don't know if he even cares. He hasn't said anything one way or the other, but apparently his wife was telling people I'm just jealous of his money and his looks and don't want to be "shown up" She then made a nasty comment about Amanda's looks which solidified for me I made the right decision
OP posts:
Hiredgun · 09/09/2026 22:23

OneSereneBiscuit · 09/09/2026 22:14

I don't believe he would do anything and he said he wouldn't, but she still feels anxious and I don't want her to have to go through that

If that’s the case then your decision is clear and nothing else to discuss. You have to make your brother aware that his presence would cause too much anxiety so he’s not invited. Hopefully he’ll understand.

Radioheads · 09/09/2026 22:16

Suggest to Amanda you elope.
Consider not having your parents either, they sound awful.

OneSereneBiscuit · 09/09/2026 22:14

Hiredgun · 09/09/2026 22:13

Can’t you just have a word with your brother and get his word that he’ll behave just for one day - or the few days either side of the big day?

If he’s not a complete tool then he should be grand with that. Not like he’s Dennis The Menace or something.

I don't believe he would do anything and he said he wouldn't, but she still feels anxious and I don't want her to have to go through that

OP posts:
Hiredgun · 09/09/2026 22:13

OneSereneBiscuit · 09/09/2026 21:37

I am marrying the love of my life "Amanda" in a few months . We have a beautiful two year old son and a great life together. unfortunately she suffers from an anxiety disorder. She does see a therapist, but it is still something she has to manage on a daily basis, and wedding planning has been very hard for her emotionally.
I have an older brother "Jason" who is pretty famous for playing pranks that most people would consider over the line. For a few examples...

  • tying a friend up and giving him a horrible spray tan
  • setting his best friend up on a fake date and smashing pie all over her face as she waited thinking she got stood up
  • filling a kids pool up with ice water inside the house and rolling his wife off the couch while she was sleeping
I'm just giving some context that his pranks are always over the top and would be a dealbreaker for most people. However he only does them to people he likes. We aren't very close and he has hardly interacted with Amanda at all. I really don't think he would pull a prank at the wedding, but she told me it is something she is extremely anxious about. Here is the thing, she has to manage her anxiety every day of her life and I want her wedding day to be perfect and as stress free as I can make it, so I decided not to invite Jason. This has really upset my parents. I've never seen them so furious. They are calling me a bad son, bad brother, saying I'm not a man. They feel we are "tearing apart the family" As for Jason I don't know if he even cares. He hasn't said anything one way or the other, but apparently his wife was telling people I'm just jealous of his money and his looks and don't want to be "shown up" She then made a nasty comment about Amanda's looks which solidified for me I made the right decision

Can’t you just have a word with your brother and get his word that he’ll behave just for one day - or the few days either side of the big day?

If he’s not a complete tool then he should be grand with that. Not like he’s Dennis The Menace or something.

DahliaDelights · 09/09/2026 22:04

oh fgs choose a stress free day, dont invite the prankster. Dont justify your choice, that indicates its up for discussion.

Anyone disagrees, tell them its your wedding, your choice. If they dont like it, they dont have to go to the wedding either, its an invite, not a summons.

OneSereneBiscuit · 09/09/2026 22:01

Bennybannsider2 · 09/09/2026 21:49

Id tell him outright that the wedding is a no prank zone, ideally while an appropriate adult like his mum or partner is there. Set out the repercussions of a prank- eg you'll be evicted from the wedding and not welcome at our house again.

Surely he would agree to this?

He says he would. I honestly don't believe he would prank us as he isn't close to us at all. he hardly knows Amanda and we talk a few times a year at family events, but it still stresses her out

OP posts:
CruCru · 09/09/2026 21:59

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 09/09/2026 21:47

This is 100% a shit Reddit post

It reads a bit like those Bored Panda things on FB.

Bennybannsider2 · 09/09/2026 21:49

Id tell him outright that the wedding is a no prank zone, ideally while an appropriate adult like his mum or partner is there. Set out the repercussions of a prank- eg you'll be evicted from the wedding and not welcome at our house again.

Surely he would agree to this?

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 09/09/2026 21:47

This is 100% a shit Reddit post

OneSereneBiscuit · 09/09/2026 21:42

LaterSunrise · 09/09/2026 21:40

Why does Jason imagine that people he likes will find it endearing being thrown into ice water or forcibly spray tanned? I mean, what hurt him in early life to make him think this is how you express affection?

He claims he isn't doing anything wrong because no one has to be his friend/marry him and he is a good sport when it is done back to him. Before his wife he was engaged for a loooong time and would never set a date because "she wasn't fun" Our parents hurt him pretty badly tbh. They only like him now because of the money

OP posts:
LaterSunrise · 09/09/2026 21:40

Why does Jason imagine that people he likes will find it endearing being thrown into ice water or forcibly spray tanned? I mean, what hurt him in early life to make him think this is how you express affection?

Llamallamafruitpyjama · 09/09/2026 21:38

This sounds like a reverse. Hello Amanda?

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