To be furious with DP? 3yo has massive bruise after being left with him

This

Don’t be so utterly ignorant and over dramatic! Kids fall in the blink of an eye and even if he was watching him directly next to him, he’d had have to have had lightning fast reactions to stop it from happening!

You are quite right. I see mums every day scrolling on their phones while their children are with them - apparently that's fine.

This is great 😂 You, @likelysuspect and a few others criticising posters for things they have NOT said, but you thought they might?!

I'm sure you can all find other threads where people really are saying stuff you dislike. This is downright bonkers.

How do you know that? The kids could've fallen a few feet away by the time a parent could've got there.

Are you constantly hovering inches behind your kids " just in case"

Edit: I re-read and realised it happened in the hospital playroom... Slow processing 🙈

YANBU he’s not trustworthy enough to be left on his own with him that accident should never have happened and wouldn’t have happened had he been watching him properly.

Does he have form for playing on his phone and not giving DC attention? i think this is the big question - is it one more of a string of incidents that show he's there in name only, or was it an accident that could have happened to anyone, and glancing at his phone from time to time while DC is entertaining themselves was not really inappropriate.

Try not to make too much of this one incident, OP. You are naturally stressed and it's obviously more distressing than normal that DC got injured just after surgery. But in a few months, when DC is recovered and you are feeling calmer, if DP is generally pretty switched off as a father it's worth considering if you really want a DP who ignores his own DC in your lives.

Dreadful. Has your partner shown any remorse?

Anyone on here saying they have never looked at their phone whilst their 3 year old was playing in the same room as them is a liar and even if you’re watching their every move the likelihood of you spotting them falling and catching them in time is virtually zero unless you happen to be stood next to them.
Stop winding the OP up with stupid hyperbole. It was simply an accident, they happen all the time, as is proven by the fact a&e is continually full of people with injuries.

Children fall over all the time, sometimes over fresh air. Our eldest fell when he was a toddler and banged his head on our floor height window ledge. The bruise on his forehead was huge and I spent an evening in a&e with him. It happened on my watch and thankfully my husband wasn’t full of recriminations and questioning my care. Other than covering them in cotton wool and hovering next to them every time they move there is no way you can stop them falling over from time to time.

Exactly

Yes, as you ask, YABU.

I understand this is a stressful time for you both, but children do fall over, and ^do have accidents, sometimes even when you are literally holding their hands, let alone when you are watching them across a play room. If your ds fell when he was 8' away from your dp (perfectly usual distance even in a living room or bedroom, let alone a playroom), your dp wouldn't have been able to prevent him hitting the floor whether he had eyes on his phone or only on your ds.

Accidents happen. They will be likely to happen throughout the next 18 years or more blaming each other helps nobody.

You're bound to be upset op, as pp have said much depends where this man feels any remorse. If he doubles down and tries to make out he wasn't negligent that speaks for itself. Does he have form for this kind of thing?

How could him not being on his phone have helped?

I think it’s the ‘recovering from surgery’ bit which is important. He took over the duty of care but did it in perhaps a less vigilant way than the op.

what’s done is done.

what I would feel was important nowwould be whether the father felt remorse and guilt at his inattentive actions while his son was particularly vulnerable. If he took some level of accountability I would forgive quite quickly. We all make mistakes and hopefully he will have learnt from it - especially if it made him feel awful.

He should not have been on his phone
But kids can fall so quickly even if you are watching them!

Much depends on how DP usually parents. Could be excusable or the latest example of laziness.

Mine fell over ( dd2 on regular occasions) and I didn't HAVE a phone when they were young. In fact DD2 could trip over a blade of grass

You mean you think its ok for someone to sit staring at their phone when they are supposed to be looking after their child?
Since when was looking at a phone more important than looking after the safety of your child? Since when was looking at your phone more important than interacting with your child?

Yes there was always the possibility of the child having fallen even if he hadn't been looking at his phone. But the fact he wasn't even looking at his child because he was looking at his phone made the chance of an accident that much more likely.

I hope you don't have children if you actually think.i's ok.to sit looking at your phone when you are supposed to be looking after their welfare

Good grief, how many on here have NEVER looked at their phone while looking after their kids? I’m going to guess… none?

I’m so sorry your son is having a really hard time OP, but I’m not sure being livid with your DP is totally fair either.

It's not just the phone , could've been anything. Even if he was watching him the kid could've still fallen.

My DS has had lots of surgeries from 10 months - 4. Usually when he’s well enough to go to the playroom that’s when I catch up on family messages etc. 3 year olds are clumsy but also hospitals are hard. Watching your baby get put under is hard. Waiting what feels like a lifetime for them to come out of surgery is bloody hard. Emotions are heightened, you’re exhausted. I know it’s hard but this one just try and let go. As long as he’s apologetic and not being a dick

Big falls with big bruises in playrooms are quite uncommon, everyone saying 3yos fall all the time and everyone is on their phone, would you really not watch your 3yo more closely than usual if they were in hospital recovering from surgery? I would. I’d be pissed off at my dp. The good news is the hospital will notice.