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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel angry after my ex took the car back?

343 replies

Walkerss · 09/09/2026 15:38

So 3 years ago my ex left me for somebody else, I have finally got to a place where I am happy, the kids are happy and all is going well.

when we were a couple we made an agreement that I would pay nursery fees and he would pay the finance on my car. Obviously since the split there have been constant threats to take the car and last night he turned up and demanded the keys. I gave them to him and instantly felt relieved that he didn’t have anything else on me. However school is quite a drive away since I moved area and I told him I wouldn’t be able to take them to school. His response was, not my problem, I can take them on my days so it’s nothing to do with him.

how can he be so evil?! At least warn me so I had time to get a car. I hate him!

OP posts:
ZesmonKola · 15/09/2026 15:25

AlliWantIsARoomSomewheeeere · 15/09/2026 12:40

Bored of these ridiculous comments on threads too!
Maybe there were red flags,maybe, but its very victim blamey. You cant know the kind of father a man will really be until he has kids! (or mother, but dont see this comment that way round) They can seem like they would be amazing and talk a good game, maybe they are great with nieces and nephews and have big plans.... and then totally fail to step up to the reality of day in, day out parenting.

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You can be bored all you want...
I'm bored of the constant threads where women make dire choices and pick absolute twats as fathers and then complain when they are still twats!

They see red flag after red flag and still decide to have kids with them. They bare some of the blame!

Original poster
Walkerss · 15/09/2026 16:13

ZesmonKola · 15/09/2026 15:25

You can be bored all you want...
I'm bored of the constant threads where women make dire choices and pick absolute twats as fathers and then complain when they are still twats!

They see red flag after red flag and still decide to have kids with them. They bare some of the blame!

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Well aren’t you a delight

OP posts:
RowsOfFlowers · 15/09/2026 16:33

ZesmonKola · 15/09/2026 15:25

You can be bored all you want...
I'm bored of the constant threads where women make dire choices and pick absolute twats as fathers and then complain when they are still twats!

They see red flag after red flag and still decide to have kids with them. They bare some of the blame!

Show quote history

I agree tbh. Not saying all women are to blame, but a large majority do need to take accountability for the choices they make, and the red flags they choose to ignore. Who you choose to have children with is the biggest decision you could possibly make in your life.

Original poster
Walkerss · 15/09/2026 16:39

RowsOfFlowers · 15/09/2026 16:33

I agree tbh. Not saying all women are to blame, but a large majority do need to take accountability for the choices they make, and the red flags they choose to ignore. Who you choose to have children with is the biggest decision you could possibly make in your life.

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I disagree with you. Nothing can prepare you for how you will take to being a parent

OP posts:
Dweetfidilove · 15/09/2026 16:45

AquaFurball · 10/09/2026 20:40

Do the additional children live with him full time? Does his new partner now need the car to take her children to school? That might qualify as him paying for upkeep. He will apply again for the reduction and if he pays the bills, including groceries, and now the upkeep on a second car which he didn't need before they lived with him, he is paying for her children. Unfortunately if he gets the reduction, there is nothing you can do about it. Hopefully you can go back to full time working so you aren't worse off.

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You'd put someone else's children's needs above your own?

Therr isn't a dick in the world marvellous enough for me to disadvantage my own children for others. And, I'm eternally grateful the type of men with these mindsets have never found me.

Original poster
Walkerss · 15/09/2026 16:47

Dweetfidilove · 15/09/2026 16:45

You'd put someone else's children's needs above your own?

Therr isn't a dick in the world marvellous enough for me to disadvantage my own children for others. And, I'm eternally grateful the type of men with these mindsets have never found me.

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I know!!! Honestly can’t believe some of the comments I’m reading.

and I have found out that his current partner has insured the car as she obviously needed it.

OP posts:
AquaFurball · 15/09/2026 16:57

Dweetfidilove · 15/09/2026 16:45

You'd put someone else's children's needs above your own?

Therr isn't a dick in the world marvellous enough for me to disadvantage my own children for others. And, I'm eternally grateful the type of men with these mindsets have never found me.

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Where in my post did I say that at all? These are the reasons he can make a successful application for reduced CMS. Didn't say I agreed with it. I was also accurate in why he took the car.

The car is his regardless because the payments were made by him. My ex tried to claim my car was his because he drove it. I paid for it and the V5 plus insurance were all in my name, didn't stop him trying to claim it was his because he drove it. His V5 registered car was also mine. I paid for it and the insurance payments. Damn right I kept both cars.

AquaFurball · 15/09/2026 16:58

Walkerss · 15/09/2026 16:47

I know!!! Honestly can’t believe some of the comments I’m reading.

and I have found out that his current partner has insured the car as she obviously needed it.

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Again you just want to slag off anyone who disagrees with you. There was nothing unbelievable in my post.

Strange you found out who insured the car. That is not publicly available information. Has he sent you a message to specifically tell you that when it is none of your business?

RowsOfFlowers · 15/09/2026 17:00

Walkerss · 15/09/2026 16:47

I know!!! Honestly can’t believe some of the comments I’m reading.

and I have found out that his current partner has insured the car as she obviously needed it.

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But he’s obviously going to prioritise his new partner. After 3 years, he doesn’t owe you anything. It sounds like you’ve got trouble adjusting and I mean that in the nicest way possible

ConfusedCF · 15/09/2026 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dweetfidilove · 15/09/2026 17:04

AquaFurball · 15/09/2026 16:57

Where in my post did I say that at all? These are the reasons he can make a successful application for reduced CMS. Didn't say I agreed with it. I was also accurate in why he took the car.

The car is his regardless because the payments were made by him. My ex tried to claim my car was his because he drove it. I paid for it and the V5 plus insurance were all in my name, didn't stop him trying to claim it was his because he drove it. His V5 registered car was also mine. I paid for it and the insurance payments. Damn right I kept both cars.

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I'm glad to be wrong in my interpretation of your questions👍🏾.

Walkerss · 15/09/2026 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AlliWantIsARoomSomewheeeere · 17/09/2026 14:50

ZesmonKola · 15/09/2026 15:25

You can be bored all you want...
I'm bored of the constant threads where women make dire choices and pick absolute twats as fathers and then complain when they are still twats!

They see red flag after red flag and still decide to have kids with them. They bare some of the blame!

Show quote history

The point is you have zero clue that there were any red flags a before the got pregnant.
Shaming women for mens actions is not a good look.

Imdunfer · 17/09/2026 15:06

AquaFurball · 15/09/2026 16:57

Where in my post did I say that at all? These are the reasons he can make a successful application for reduced CMS. Didn't say I agreed with it. I was also accurate in why he took the car.

The car is his regardless because the payments were made by him. My ex tried to claim my car was his because he drove it. I paid for it and the V5 plus insurance were all in my name, didn't stop him trying to claim it was his because he drove it. His V5 registered car was also mine. I paid for it and the insurance payments. Damn right I kept both cars.

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The car is his regardless because the payments were made by him.

I don't think this is necessarily true.

If they made an agreement that he would pay the loan for her car if she paid the nursery fees, then it's her car. That wouldn't be an unusual situation if, for example, one partner can get a better loan deal than the other.

The problem is that she can't prove that conversation ever took place.

If she had recorded it, then it would definitely be her car.

And for the umpteenth time on this thread the V5 indicates the registered keeper of the car. It does not show ownership.

dreamingofgoodhair · 17/09/2026 15:22

ZesmonKola · 15/09/2026 15:25

You can be bored all you want...
I'm bored of the constant threads where women make dire choices and pick absolute twats as fathers and then complain when they are still twats!

They see red flag after red flag and still decide to have kids with them. They bare some of the blame!

Show quote history

do you know anyone with a crystal ball ? It’s not possible to know what sort of a parent someone will be. Also it’s ’bear ‘ the blame. Unless you’re getting naked ?

AquaFurball · 17/09/2026 18:02

@Imdunfer I am fully aware what the V5C shows.

In this situation the car belongs to OPs ex. Doesn't even sound like the V5 was in her name so as he made the payments, there is nothing documented to state she owns the car and she might have even being fraudulently insuring the car - he had the right legally to take the car.

Women have been advised for years to protect themselves from this sort of thing and unfortunately for OP she chose not to.

Imdunfer · 17/09/2026 18:50

AquaFurball · 17/09/2026 18:02

@Imdunfer I am fully aware what the V5C shows.

In this situation the car belongs to OPs ex. Doesn't even sound like the V5 was in her name so as he made the payments, there is nothing documented to state she owns the car and she might have even being fraudulently insuring the car - he had the right legally to take the car.

Women have been advised for years to protect themselves from this sort of thing and unfortunately for OP she chose not to.

Again. What is on the V5 is irrelevant.

A verbal contract is a valid contract. If it happened the way she said the car is hers. Her problem is that she can't prove that verbal contract was ever made.

She trusted a man, she won't be the last who does that.

ZesmonKola · 21/09/2026 12:29

AlliWantIsARoomSomewheeeere · 17/09/2026 14:50

The point is you have zero clue that there were any red flags a before the got pregnant.
Shaming women for mens actions is not a good look.

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Give over... Its very rare there is no red flags before.
Its just an excuse used by women to make themselves feel better about their choices

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