AIBU to feel angry after my ex took the car back?

You had three years to sort a car, he should of given you a month's notice but you had 3 years.

He sounds like a dick, but at least now he has nothing he can hold over you/threaten you with. Cancel the insurance.

He's a horrible man and you're better off without him but co-parenting is impossible with a man like that. Who would leave their kids without a way of getting to school with no notice.

But it wasn't sustainable unless he signed it over to you. He had it to hold over you and now he doesn't at least.

Aibu is crazy. You won't get much support here unfortunately.

He definitely should have given you more notice that he wanted his car back, but you should have realised that you needed to sort out your own transport ( and probably nursery fees as well) when you split up. Unless you have evidence that he gifted you the car, it's his car if he paid for it and retained ownership..

Is your income enough to replace the car ? Can you get you children to school by alternative means ? If not Can you borrow one from another family member while you sort out alternative arrangements?

.

Is it very kind of him. No. Could he given you some notice to sort yourself a car. Yes. However you did kinda have 3 years notice to sort yourself your own car. I think where I agree he is being a bit of a deadbeat is the fact he said the kids getting to school isn’t his problem. But I’m sorry it’s his car, you’ve been split for 3 years, you’ve had 3 years use of that car since you split I think that actually was very generous

Well if that is the case, then he owes her for the nursery fees she was paying for their shared children, when he paid nothing.

But she effectively paid for half the car while they were together.

It's definitely something they should have come to an agreement at the end of the relationship.

The fairest deal would have been for her to buy the car off him at half it's value.

Edited to add that is assuming that the nursery fee and the car loan repayment were roughly the same amount.

Well now you will be buying your own car you wont be paying the tax and insurance on his so make sure he knows you've told DVLA that you no longer "own it" and cancel the insurance😉

That very much depends on what’s meant by “in his name”.

If it’s in his name, surely it’s his car? If it wasn’t legally his, why would you give him the keys?

Stop paying for the insurance and get another car.

If it’s in his name: it’s his car. She just feels like it’s her car. Surely you didn’t believe this when she wrote it?! Paying insurance is completely irrelevant.

But it is true. He probably figured you would have sorted your own car out by now or offered to buy this one off him? You don’t get maintenance and a car?

Cancel the insurance and get your own car. I presume you have him on a documented child support agreement? He was always going to take the car

There’s no such thing as a registered owner in the UK. The OP might be the registered keeper or maybe not but that has nothing to do with ownership.

The only things that prove ownership are things like invoices and finance agreements. He could also have put it in writing that he’s given her the car.

I’m not sure what you expected - it is his car, you’ve been using it for three years and he has had enough and wants it back. Pay for your own car!

Christ the mumsnet nastiness in full force today. It was a shit selfish thing to do with no notice. Hope you sort one soon

I’m assuming you were not married as the value of the car would have been taken into account as part of a divorce.
Look at the facts here.
He bought a car that was paid off when you split.
You paid nursery fees. When did the Dc stop going to nursery?
He has told you several times that he wants the car back.
You have ignored this for 3 years.
You have moved away from the DCs school.
He has now finally taken back the car.

Honestly, you’ve had the use of a car that didn’t belong to you for 3 years, and had 3 years to replace it but chose not to. Sadly, that’s where the problem lies.

What an arsehole.

So you've paid for nursery and have nothing tangible to show.

Assuming the costs were similar which I doubt, I bet you paid a lot more, the car is at least 1/2 yours.

You’ve split, it might sound harsh but in reality he doesn’t have any duty of care towards you nor does he need to, his comments about it not being his problem how his kids gets to school are ridiculous, he should show more care to them, but really that’s the only issue here. I get you’re feeling put out but no matter how you phrase it that’s his car, you can say it’s yours all you want, but his name is on it, he’s paid the monthly finance and now it’s paid off he has in fact paid the full price of the car. It’s like my sister buying a car and letting me use it for a few years, I might pay for the MOT and insure myself because I’m using it, but it would still be her car. This is no different. It’s a shocker you managed to keep it for 3 years.

You quoted me. It's unclear who owns the car, hence the point I made in the post that you quoted me in. She said it was in his name, but then said it's her car.

Oh, they're just shits, aren't they? We had 2 cars - one was an ancient Fiat worth about £800, one was a brand new £24,000 thing - guess which one he took? Traded it in for a massive mid-life crisis van and claimed that the finance on that was more expensive than the car had been worth (there was £8,000 still owing) so somehow he'd done me a favour taking on the debt.

Just breathe a sigh of relief, OP, one less tie to him. I take great pride now in having provided for DS by myself - at least yours is paying maintenance!